LOTUS | Transformation, Rebirth

Ren sits quietly by himself in the library, his textbooks aligned neatly in front of him on the table, writing in his notes when his phone screen lights up with a message from Tsubaki. He unlocks the screen and immediately smiles to himself upon opening the file sent as he swipes through multiple photos of last night's event where the boys were dressed in skirts provided by Holly.

Seeing Sho and Tsubaki pose confidently in skirts was mild to see, but a particular photo had Ren muffling a laugh. When he came across the photo of Yuri in a neon green pencil skirt, hands covering his face in shame and embarrassment while the others made goofy faces around him, Ren nearly suffocated himself trying to keep down his laughter in the silent library. 

As he saves the photos one by one, his thumb continues to swipe through more selfies with Tsubaki until his finger can no longer swipe on the screen. In the last photo of the collection, he stares at the picture of himself, his eyes shifting to the background where Yuri is seen sitting on the bed, head tilted up, softly gazing at the subject who looks at the camera.

Ren’s chest goes heavy as he tightens his grip on the phone.

Why did the photo look like Yuri was looking at Ren so affectionately?

“I know I’m wrong, so why won’t my heart see it correctly?”

His mind gets pulled from the darkness when a ping notification comes from his phone. Sliding the new message open, Sho wanted to know his location. After Ren replies that he’s in the campus library, Sho responds with a simple thumbs-up emoji.

Half an hour after their exchange, Sho arrived at the library with a friend of his. “You left your textbook at my dorm last night,” he says, as his hand holds out the large book to Ren.

“Oh! Sorry you, I mean, sorry—thank you!” Ren stumbles at his words, and Sho just smiles at him.

The exchange remains short as Sho takes his leave after waving goodbye. Ren places the textbook on the corner of the table and smiles to himself. “Sho’s a nice guy....” 

He then begins to reminisce about his time meeting and getting close to everyone since the semester began, and he thinks to himself, “They’re all really nice people.”

When he places his phone on the table next to him to continue his studies, a silent smile draws over his lips as his screensaver displays the photo of him and Tsubaki.

✻ ✻ ✻

It’s the weekend on a sunny afternoon when Ren finds himself sitting with Holly at a campus cafe outdoors. This was the first time the two had ever spent time together without the other three guys around to carry the conversation, and if Ren were to be honest, he was initially intimidated by the older redheaded grad student.

They were both quiet individuals, and other than Holly’s quick remarks, which were usually targeted at the soccer team’s captain, Ren didn’t know anything about her. So he was surprised when she messaged him asking what he was up to that morning. This led to where they were now, sipping on his vanilla latte, and her, a double espresso.

“Huh? Yuri’s sick?” Ren echoes. “So that’s why I didn’t see him around yesterday…”

“Yeah, but don’t worry about it too much,” she assures, rolling her eyes. “I was told by his dufus roommate that it wasn’t that severe.”

Holly’s phone then rings. “Oh, speaking of—Yeah? What? Hmm....” She tilts her head, pondering just for a second before answering, “I don’t feel like it.”

Ren mouths to her, “What’s wrong?”

She puts the phone on speaker and explains, “Sho forgot some of his architect materials back at the dorm, and he’s currently at the library with his partner going crazy.”

“PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU!” Sho screams through the phone, and in the background, Ren assumes it’s his partner’s voice, saying, “Shut up, Sho. You’re being too loud. We’re in a library.”

Ren lets out a laugh before speaking up. “I can bring the materials if you want. I was going to the library later today anyway.”

“Really, Ren? THANK Y—SHH!—Sorry....”

When it comes time for Ren to get the materials from Sho’s dorm, he’s left outside in front of the door, pondering to himself, hesitating to knock as he stands there. 

“Why am I hesitating? It’s not like it’s my first time here. Or is it because it’s just Yuri this time?” 

He shakes his head, quickly raises his arm to the door, and knocks three times. The door in front of him then opened slowly, and the familiar voice he was used to hearing had gone hoarse due to a cold. 

“… Ren?”

“Uhm,” His voice suddenly catches in his throat as Yuri comes into full view. “Sho said there were materials....” he trails off, but Yuri understands.

He holds out the bag with the materials in his hand to Ren. 

“I didn’t know it was going to be you coming here, but—anyway, here. Make sure to tell that guy to treat you next time, or I’ll—” Yuri breaks into a coughing fit, and Ren’s eyes begin to shake with worry.

“You, You should go lay down, Yuri. Thanks for giving me the materials!”

“Sorry, Ren…”

“Don’t be!” His hands go up in defense. “I hope you feel better soon … so you can be back with everyone again.”

Yuri’s expression softens as the corner of his lips gently curve. He apologizes once more before waving goodbye to Ren and shutting the door only once he sees him disappear down the stairs.

When Ren gets to the bottom of the stairway, he’s surprised to see Tsubaki, who’s holding a grocery bag in one hand and a pharmacy bag in the other. His eyes go heavy until Tsubaki speaks, jolting him back into real-time.

“Ren?”

“Tsubaki!” He smiles—maybe too forcibly—as he asks a question he already knows the answer to. “Are you here to see Yuri?”

“Yeah, that idiot caught a cold, so I brought a few things to make sure he doesn’t die.” He lets out a long sigh. “What a pain.”

Ren chuckles at the unamused face, even if Tsubaki’s actions don’t match his words.

“What’s that?” Tsubaki asks, looking at the bag in his hands.

“Oh. These are materials Sho says he needs for his midterm project. He’s over at the library right now, so I have to hurry and go!”

“Okay. See you on campus tomorrow. And make sure you don’t stay out too late, or you’ll catch a cold, too.”

They exchange smiles before walking past each other, and it only takes a few steps before Ren spins back around on his heel and yells out.

“Tsubaki! Take good care of Yuri!”

“Huh—? Oh, y-yeah,” Tsubaki stutters from the sudden outburst and then says, “I will.” 

The smile Tsubaki gave had such firm assurance behind it that it made Ren’s chest feel warm, and he couldn’t help but share a wide grin on his face before watching the other turn and continuing up the stairway.

“I know you will, Tsubaki.”

He felt his body tense all at once as he squeezed the bag of materials in his arms like it was the weight bearing in the pit of his stomach. 

“I know you will—because you are a kind person, Tsubaki.”

His shoulders eased, and his breath released; suddenly, his body became light. Standing there briefly, he felt the warmth of the setting sun softly touch his skin, and every steady breath he let out intertwined in a slow dance with the wind.

Ren let go.

And now he felt free.

Night had already fallen by the time he arrived at the library. When he finds the table, he's greeted by the sight of pure exhaustion as evident dark circles can be seen through the reading glasses over Sho’s nose. As Ren cautiously approaches the scene, multiple cans of coffee and crumpled papers are seen littered on the table.

“I-I brought your materials…” Ren says almost cautiously, and Sho looks up with glazed eyes.

“A-Are you an angel…?” And from the sleep deprivation and overdose of caffeine, Sho imagines Ren with glowing light and wings as he hands over the materials.

“Really, you’re a lifesaver,” Ren hears, and he turns his head to face Sho’s partner sitting on the other end of the table.

The older boy could be described as no one who’d stand out of the crowd. His hair was dark like ashes, and his eyes were mostly hidden behind a pair of thick eyeglasses. His ordinary visuals blended in well, which was probably why Ren hadn’t realized his presence earlier, nor yesterday with Sho during the exchange in the library.

“Thank you for bringing the materials we needed,” he thanked, as he gave a kind smile. “We’ve been working on this here in the library since last night.”

“Since last night…? Well, I’m glad I could help … uh..”

“Oh, I never introduced you guys,” Sho cleared his throat. “This is my friend, Ran. We’re in the same department.”

“Hàorán Xiāo, to be exact,” the friend added.

And Ren perks up from the name. “Oh! Are you also Chinese?”

Ran responds in Mandarin. “Yeah, you too?”

He gives an excited nod that makes Ran smile. “My name is Yǔxuān Rén. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

In the background, Sho stares with a blank smile as he doesn’t understand a word they’re saying.

Ren then looks down at the table in front of them and becomes in awe at the blueprint drawing and the 3D paper model.

“I have the fully rendered model on my laptop,” Ran says after seeing the dazzling light in his eyes, and he poses the screen to show him.

Ren looks at it thoroughly as he's taken on a digital tour of the 3D-rendered model, and at one point, his eyebrows knit together with a hum. 

“Here.” He points at the screen. “That column wouldn’t be able to withhold the weight of the floor above it at that diameter. The lobby would just cave in without another support beam on the other side.”

Sho leans his head over to observe. “Whoa...! You’re right!” Sho gasps. “That totally slipped right by us. Thanks, Ren! This is why you're at the top of the Engineering Department!”

Ren rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “Sorry … I couldn’t keep it to myself.”

Sho shakes his head with a smile. “You think you can look over the rest of it for us? It’s due tomorrow!”

Ren’s left looking back and forth at the two upperclassmen as they stare expectantly. He then lets out a sigh before giving in, which gains a cheer and a fist thrown in the air by Sho, followed by a scolding by the librarian.

After they review the project one last time, Sho cracks his knuckles with a refreshed and determined expression. “Okay, let’s make these adjustments. It shouldn’t take that long if we’re both working on it.” He turns to Ren with a thumbs up. “Thanks a lot, Ren! You saved us!”

Ren waves his hands in denial. “No … I—”

“Sho’s right,” Ran interrupts and faces him. 

Ren was never one to make much eye contact due to his timid personality, but he froze the moment he was caught in the older’s gaze. Through the lens of his glasses, his eyes were a deep teal green, a color that evoked a sense of tranquility.

“You’re really amazing, Ren. You have my gratitude.” 

As the older two focus on their project, Ren’s left sitting there, still letting the affirmation sink in. He then smiles to himself quietly as a faint blush falls on his cheeks.