***

“What did you do to get in Xpress’s good graces like this?” Rusty thumbed through his phone, grinning like the big goofball he was.

“Hey, I called you to help me out with this, not laugh at me,” Jamie warned. “It’s one of your people, now advise.”

“My people? What do you mean by that?”

“Don’t play the innocent. Aren’t you their king? The same idiot keeps calling you that.”

Rusty scratched his head. “Yeah, well, that was in the past. I mean, I don’t care about stuff like that, now that I have Matty.”

“And a freaking musical career. I can’t believe you kept that from me.” Jamie punched Rusty in the shoulder, hard enough for his friend to massage the area with a grimace on his face. “How many times have you watched me play? Didn’t you ever itch to sing along?”

“Not really. Your style’s sort of weird.”

“So is singing opera in this day and age.”

“No, it’s not,” Rusty protested. “Okay, what do you want me to do?”

“Tell me who this guy is.”

“I would but I have no idea. No one knows. Xpress has just always been.”

“Since forever?” Jamie asked, dumbfounded by that statement.

“Sunny Hill is not that old,” Rusty said. “What I know is that it existed before I got here. Or so people say.” He continued to look through the latest posts with a grin on his face. “I gotta say, when it’s not about me or my homies, this stuff can be pretty funny.”

“I’m not your homie, asshole?” Jamie grinned and pushed two coffees to go in front of his friend. They had never been thick as thieves, as Rusty had his friends and college life, but they’d had good moments that made them pals for life. Like a summer hunting gigs all over the place, with no pay for Rusty, who looked every bit like he needed the cash and couldn’t have afforded to waste his time like that. “This one’s sweeter. It’s for Matty. Tell him it’s from one sweet guy to another.”

“Fuck off,” Rusty said without rancor. “The guy is mine.”

“Yes, I know, you marked your territory. You straight guys should keep in your lane, though. You’re messing up other people’s game.”

“I’ve done no such thing,” Rusty said. “And it’s different when you do it like me.”

“Like you, how?”

“You know, for real. Not just fooling around.”

“Shut up, Parker, you were as much a player as me before meeting Matty. Only you worked a different lane, and that was fine by me.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not in yours. I’m not in the race anymore.”

“Properly retired. Who would have thought it?” Jamie bumped his fist against Rusty’s. “Just take good care of your guy. He’s worth it.”

“Yeah, I know,” Rusty said with a smile. “Now, since you bribed me with your best, tell me how I can help you. For the record, greater men have tried to unmask Xpress and failed, according to local history.”

“Just tell me if you hear anything. I mean, I know what the guy looks like, in a way.”

“What? Did you meet this guy?” Rusty stared at him in disbelief.

“Yes. The first of my dates he crashed was two weeks ago. He was all dressed up like Sherlock Holmes but asked to be called ‘inspector’. And he kept hounding me, asking if this or that was my official statement.”

“That’s weird. I’ve never heard of Xpress getting so close to their subject matter, so to speak. It’s always like whoever’s behind it is completely invisible. So, didn’t you get to see him well, this guy? Just describe him to me.”

“He was in disguise, and it was dark. But he was skinny and short, that I can tell you.”

“So it could be a girl for all you know,” Rusty said with a shrug.

“Nope, I don’t think so,” Jamie replied. 

“How come you didn’t wring his neck if he got so close?”

“I ignored him the first time, and it looks like he’s preferred to stay in hiding for the rest.”

Rusty took a look at the long string of posts. “Are you telling me all this stuff is real? Do you always start by caressing the guy’s right ear, giving it a,” he paused to stare at the screen, “two fraction of a second lick on the lobe, and then ask if he’s ready for a romp in the hay?”

“The hay part is how this asshole talks,” Jamie grumbled. “You know, it’s really weird to have your technique dissected and disclosed like that. There should be laws against it.”

This time, Rusty looked at him with sympathy in his eyes. “I have to admit that this Xpress person has gone more than one time beyond the call of duty with the crap they put on the page. Seriously, it’s like they don’t know when to stop.”

“Really? That’s good to know.” Jamie grinned, already feeling better.

“How so?” Rusty asked.

“If what you’re saying is true, he won’t let go. I’m going to catch this asshole and teach him a lesson.”

Rusty chuckled. “Funny choice of words. Wasn’t that what Xpress promised to do to you? Like a hunter.”

Jamie got up and took off his apron. “So what? It takes one to catch one.”

TBC