Robert: — hi, 1983.

I was just 8 years old that spring afternoon, wandering the elementary school hallways, looking for something to do. Wandering aimlessly through the corridors became my passion because it made me feel grown-up, maybe like the principal, I don't remember anymore, that was several years ago. I walked normally from one hallway to another, from one classroom to another, seeing what I could do. Each time I did, I discovered new things about that place, and though they weren't many times, they were interesting.

I still remember the day I started walking without purpose until I came across this enormous wooden door with a sign that said welcome. I kept walking until I entered it.

A chill hit me along with the smell of dry paper. Large columns of bookshelves welcomed me, and that's how I arrived at the library.

Truth be told, I wasn't very interested in that place; I simply avoided it since back then, on TV shows, they portrayed libraries as boring, quiet, and uninteresting places. Therefore, I wasn't too passionate about the idea of being there, but just as I was about to turn back, I saw Mrs. Mallorca leaving the place with a box full of items. In that instant, I followed her only to find the exit and leave, and as she put the box down upon leaving, a curiosity instinct invaded me.

Robert: What's this?

I began to examine the box and slowly started to delve into it. Things began to appear—interesting and incredible things, like posters about rockets and space! Toys and figures of astronauts and planets! And books about space adventures and everything related. I couldn't contain my excitement, and apparently, the older lady noticed.

Elderly Woman: I see you really like what's in that box.

Robert: Yes, all of this is amazing and interesting. What is all this about?

Elderly Woman: All of this is from several years ago, from the time our country managed to go to space.

Robert: Go to space? — I said in astonishment as I paid attention to every word the library lady said.

Elderly Woman: Yes, a few years ago, we managed to get a man to walk on the moon, and that's why we had all this to commemorate it. But now that it's passed, we don't need it anymore. Would you like to keep it?

Robert: Really? — with great astonishment and enthusiasm.

Elderly Woman: Yes, you can take it — she said with a smile.

Robert: THANK YOU!

Elderly Woman: You're welcome.

And so, that day when I got home, I started decorating my entire room with the posters, mini-figures, and when I finished, I began to read through the magazines. They were incredible! They covered all sorts of topics to see and read, like adventures, space facts, games, and a long list.

Years passed and I grew older. I started leaving things behind, but for some reason, space wasn't one of them. In fact, it grew.

Year: 1990

I was 15 years old back then, and that day I was in a psychologist's class, one of those typical classes where people found reasons to play, talk, wander the hallways, and for a few, pay attention—like me.

Psychologist: Well, young man, as you know, in a few years, you'll have to be something as adults. That's why it's important to start thinking about what you want to become. So, I'll ask you, what do you want to be when you grow up?

At that moment, everyone said what they wanted to be. Some said, "I want to be a police officer!" Others said, "Hmm, maybe I'll be an accountant." I was already preparing to say my piece.

Robert: I want to be an astronaut!

At that moment, everyone fell silent, and I knew something bad was about to happen.

Monika: Why do you want to be that when there's no reason anymore?

James: Yeah! Besides, you're not the smartest. Do you know how difficult that is?

Harry: I've never heard such a pathetic and weird idea.

I started looking around, and everything began to feel confusing. Suddenly, a jolt of reality hit me, making me aware of many things. It felt as if a bubble containing me had burst, and many thoughts began to swirl around. What happened? Who are all these people I barely know after all these years in school? And why isn't the psychologist doing anything while everyone mocks me? Why? Why are they doing this?

At that moment, I grabbed my things, grabbed my backpack, and ran out of the classroom.

Monika: Does anyone know where he went?

I began running aimlessly down the hallway, turning corners and continuing to run. I ran for a long time, without direction, without a destination, without a reason... but after a while, I found myself there again: a large wooden door with an old, welcoming sign. I entered.

The smell of dry paper enveloped me again, and a cold breeze hit my face. I started walking slowly through the place, losing myself in the aisles. Sections on humanities, biology, mathematics, languages, encyclopedias, and social sciences. When I reached this section, I began to browse through the shelves, exploring what appeared before me, until something caught my eye. It was a thick book, very thick, with bold blue letters: 'A Dummy's Guide to Being an Astronaut.' I dragged it slowly towards me and grabbed it. It was heavy, but my determination was stronger. Then, I headed towards the lobby, but there was no one there. I looked both ways and then... I left with the book.

When I got home, I walked down the hallway to my room, sat at my desk, and started reading. Chapter by chapter, lesson by lesson, fact by fact, I discovered more and more about space and astronauts. Before I knew it, it was already '93, and I was 18 years old—the age of taxes, loneliness, and old age, and above all, the age where you're supposed to finally become someone in this world, to 'contribute' new things to the new generations who now spend their time glued to screens with video game consoles, repeating the same level over and over again.

Those are the years when you already know what you want to be. And I had already made up my mind about what I wanted to be.

That night, I was having dinner with my father and mother, the typical family dinner. The perfect moment to tell them my big news.

Robert: Hey Dad, I know this might not be the best time, but I have something to tell you.

Robert's father: Raises an eyebrow — Are you enrolling in an academy and studying?

Robert: Yes and no. I actually sent an email to the space agency and I'll have my first tests to see if they'll choose me to become an astronaut.

Robert's father: Falls silent for a moment — Is this a joke?

Robert: No, and look at these brochures about the process and what it entails — I said enthusiastically.

Robert's father: Do you know how difficult this is, the financial costs, and how demanding it is? — He said with a serious tone.

Robert: Well, yes, but I've covered the costs with my savings, and besides that, I've been training hard every day, and...

Robert's father: It's not just that. It's that you might end up failing miserably there.

There was a long silence, and then my mom came to interrupt us.

Robert's mother: Alright dear, but this is his dream. Can't you see he's loved these things since he was little? Always been a space enthusiast. Let him be.

Robert's father: Let him be?! If I let him be, he'll just end up making a fool of himself there.

They continued arguing, my mom and dad, about the situation, while I stood on the other side watching this go nowhere.

Robert: You know what, Dad! I don't care what you say, but I know I'm determined about this, and that's to become an astronaut. Whether you like it or not, I won't say no!

I stormed angrily to my room.

The next day, I was packed and ready.

Robert's mother: Where are you going with all that?

Robert: I'm going to fulfill a dream. I'll miss you.

Robert's father: I already told you I won't let you go there.

Robert: I'm sorry, Dad, but I'm an adult now. I can make my own decisions and decide what I want to be.

Robert's mother: I'll miss you so much. Take care and promise me you'll call, even if it's just once a week.

Robert: I will, I promise.

Robert's father: Don't expect anything from me, because you know what I said. And don't come back crying from there saying you couldn't make it.

Robert: Anyway, why do I need to talk to you? You've only shown little interest in my passion. At this point, I'm not asking for your support anymore because I don't need it. I just ask for understanding.

Robert's father: If that's all you want, then fine. You have my full support to leave here and don't come back crying.

Robert: Alright, if that's what you want — at that moment, I headed to the door with my things and left the house.

As I walked away, I turned around and saw my mom at the window, tears streaming down her face, waving goodbye. I just smiled reassuringly at her and returned the gesture, then turned back and kept walking away. After that, the typical happened: I went to the local bus stop and boarded the bus that was mine.

Though I often prefer not to cry and hold back tears, because 'crying is for girls,' this time, as the bus drove away, it wasn't like that. I spent the whole journey crying for a long time, asking myself why? A question that would never have an answer.

The day came, and it was no longer time to cry. It was time to be an astronaut. They started with questions and blood and DNA analysis. After a while, I got the green light to start the real tests. Very difficult tests that I managed to complete — tests of strength, endurance, and control. But little by little, I completed them.

If I could describe them in one word, it would be 'stress,' but that wasn't enough to stop me. And then the big day arrived.

Secretary: Mr. Robert, here are your results.

I took them, the tension in my body escalating until the part appeared whether I was accepted or not.

But... I wasn't accepted.

Secretary: We're sorry, Mr. Robert, but your high school grades may have influenced this decision. We're sorry.

Robert: Alright, thank you very much.

I headed towards the exit, a disturbing cold sensation enveloping my body. Everything started to blur, everything slowed down. I walked towards the station exit, and before leaving, I turned around and saw a large mural of space with stars and Saturn, with words that said 'welcome.' Finally stepping outside, a gust of wind hit my face, and leaves started swirling around me.

I went to the local bus station, and while waiting for the bus, I looked at the leaf one last time, tears beginning to fall on it.

Robert: Why?

Why?