!!!!!THIS IS A BLANKET WARNING THAT THIS WHOLE SERIES IS RATED MATURE. NATURALLY THERE WILL BE LOSTS OF THINGS TO HAVE TRIGGER WARNINGS IN A STORY ABOUT GHOSTS, I WILL DO MY BEST TO PUT A TW BEFORE EVERY CHAPTER!!!

!!!TW, DEATH, COMING OUT, LOSS, GREIF!!!

Chapter one

The graveyard

It was a heavy early morning. The sun was just starting to stretch its rays over the trees and rooftops and a heavy amount of dew coated the ground. The sky threatened rain storms on the horizon and Lee ran back inside the mudroom to grab an umbrella before they took off, their converse hitting the pavement. Lee hated not having a car. The town just wasn't big enough for their dad to justify helping Lee learn to drive so they could get their own, no matter the amount of money they had saved up working at the shop over the past few years. Dad had always said if they needed to go somewhere that he would always take them if available, which was nice but offered no real freedom for Lee. They hadn't asked dad for a ride to school for a lot of reasons this morning. Fridays were one of the only days that dad could sleep in because he opened the shop late on friday and saturday, which meant he wasn't awake right now. Normally he would be buzzing around downstairs in the antique store, dusting or polishing some new set of whatever doohickey was going to be sold. Lee’s mother had inherited the store when her mother died and dad was very keen to see it continue its success now that their mother wasn't with them anymore. 

Lee hadn't taken a ride from their dad in over a week and a half though, not since they had come out to their father. He had made it clear that he loved Lee but he was awkward when it was just the two of them. He didn't know what to say and sometimes slipped up with Lee’s name and new pronouns. Lee had not been getting upset at him for any of it, they knew it would be an adjustment for their father but, dad had been beating himself up about it and struggled in general to find other topics. The only time they had spoken recently that didn't loop around to lee coming out as nonbinary was last night right before bed. Dad had knocked on Lee’s door unexpectedly and asked to talk. He leaned over Lee’s desk, playing with a fidget toy on it. “I dont think it's a good idea for you to go to classes tomorrow,” he said plainly.

“Dad, “ Lee trailed off for a moment,”... I have to. You know I'm on thin ice as it is.” Lee had missed a lot of the previous school year and the superintendent’s rules said that Lee was close to not graduating this upcoming spring because of it. 

Lee’s father looked down at the sugar cube. “ We can call your guidance counselor, we can see if there's a way to volunteer your time this weekend or sometime soon to get your credit hours.”

“dad! “ Lee snapped “just- i'm going, ok?” Dad knotted his brow and turned to leave. Lee had wanted so badly to apologize, to run out into the hallway and tell their dad that he was right, that they didn't want to go. But they didn't. They had turned the light to their room off and laid in the dark, mindlessly playing on their phone until reluctantly, around 4 am, their body let them sleep.

Lee quickened their pace. They were taking the shortcut today but they had an errand to run before heading to the school. They twisted their way down the streets. Downtown was always empty this early in the morning, most banks and diners opened just after the first bell rang at school. Lee tried to think of nothing as they walked by the thick black iron gates that nestled the graveyard deep in the town’s center. It was well cared for, even the old areas. Lee’s aunt, Valeria, was a part of the historical preservation society and this graveyard was often visited by tourists for the older grave sights. The society made sure to hire a sturdy crew to clean it often and leave flowers, even for the graves no one visited anymore. Lee zigzagged their way until finally they came to their destination. The limestone slate sat under the canopy of a large tree. It was much newer than most of the headstones in the area, there were even some patches of grass that had not filled in in the past year. Lee plopped their backpack down and sat cross legged in front of the headstone. 

“Hey Alice,” Lee’s voice croaked. They were fighting down the tight feeling they got in their throat when they knew they were going to cry. In front of Lee was their best friend’s headstone. Alice Harwile, June 16th 2000- November 8th 2018. Today was November 8th 2019. One year ago Alice had run out of Lee’s house and couldn't be found for a few days. Lee had hoped that she had just run away. They had always talked about doing it together, both of them saving up as much as they could and getting a car and packing up the day after graduation and driving somewhere far off and far away and never looking back. Lee had been so angry that she had left without them that when the police told them that there had been a body Lee didn't believe them. It wasn't until after the funeral, when their friend was buried here that it finally hit Lee just what had happened. And the news never let them forget it. For weeks after it was all major news sites and shows would talk about and the facts of the case were burned into lee’s memory. 40 stab wounds. Mutilation to her neck. Bleed dry before disposing of the body. Gasoline to wipe off any and all prints and DNA, and worst of all nothing to go off of. Noone to blame for this hole in Lee’s life. 

Lee was playing with one of the only things they had left of alice. They had never been the kind of friends to give each other presents. During birthdays and Christmas they had always gone out to do something instead of making things for each other. But there was one summer when they were 12 when Lee was “forced into” going to a christian summer camp with Alice for one of the weekends. They were supposed to be making bracelets that represented the different kinds of holy armor that you would wear. To lee it just looked like a rainbow bracelet. When they had gone back to lee’s that night alice emptied her pockets to reveal handfuls of stolen beads and string. That night they had made matching beads and given them to each other. Lee had given Alice a bracelet with blue and yellow beads. Alice had given lee one made from pink and green beads. Lee was playing with it now looking at their friend’s grave. 

Lee took a deep breath. “ They never found the one I made for you, you know?” Their voice was horse and quiet. “I wanted to make you a new one but you know… your parents…” Alice’s parents never had liked Lee much and would reluctantly let Lee around when Alice was alive. But right after she died they made it very clear that they had never wanted to see Lee again. Lee took off the bracelet and placed it in front of the grave. “It feels silly to wear this when you can't wear yours. Maybe you can hold onto it for me. Until I find yours?”

The phone buzzed in Lee's jacket pocket. School would be starting in a few minutes. They stood and wrapped their coat closer around them, their breath showing in the cool autumn morning and waked their way to the exit of the graveyard. They were almost to the gate when they were stopped by an older woman. “Hello Deary,” the lady began, “I was hoping you would help me find my melvin? My Eyes aren't what they used to be ''. Lee just gave her a small smile and pointed behind them 

“He is in Lot F Mrs Johnston,” Lee said, “just like last month.” Mrs Johnston hummed a little chuckle making her way past Lee. “Thank you dear!” she called out behind her. Lee let a small smile creep across their face when they saw that Mrs Johnston’s feet didnt touch the ground as she walked.