Jo paced the length of her apartment, running anxious hands through her hair as she tried to squash down the anxiety that was beginning to bubble up in her chest. She had to leave soon. If she didn’t leave soon she would be late, and if she was late people would stare, and if people stared then they’d see…

“Shit!” Jo paused her pacing, looking toward the door, which mocked her with its mere presence. She closed her eyes, forcing herself to breathe. ‘In and out. In and out.’ She finally opened her eyes, clenching her fists at her sides. “You can do this. It’s just the outside. It can’t hurt you.” Jo turned to look at the door, repeating the phrase. “It can’t hurt you…” 

Taking a deep breath, Jo flexed her fingers as she forced her arms through the sleeves of her jacket, pulling it tight over her chest. “It can’t hurt you.” She grabbed her headphones, pulling them around her neck as she walked up to her front door, grabbing her keys where they sat on the small table. Jo placed her hand on the doorknob, taking another deep calming breath before turning it and stepping out into the outside world. 

Jo stalked down her steps, pulling her headphones up over her ears and turning up the music to drown out the world around her. She stepped onto the ground floor, pausing to take a deep breath, before continuing forward out of the shade of her building and toward the nearby bus stop. She sat down, leg bouncing with built-up anxiety as she stared at the ground, digging her nails into her knees as she waited for the bus to arrive. 

The screech of wheels caused her to jerk her head up to see the bus had pulled up to the stop. Jo stood up, pulling her wallet from her pocket, and scanning her transit card as she stepped up and into the bus. She looked over the half-full bus before walking toward and taking a seat near the back. She collapsed into a seat, she looked out the window, focusing on the world as it blurred by. 

Jo let the passing scenery and classical music coming from her headphones blur together and lull her into a sense of security and ease. 

Only for that to be ripped away when the bus took a turn that it didn’t normally take. Panic rose in Jo’s chest, causing her to reach up and rub soothing circles over the patch at the hem of her jacket. ‘It's just something buses do sometimes. They take different routes to the same places.’ She focused on her breathing watching the surroundings as they became familiar once more, and she reached up to pull the cord which caused the bus to come to a stop across from her therapist's office. She stood up, walked to the closest open door, and stepped out into the cool afternoon air. 

Jo took a deep breath, watching as the bus took off kicking up asphalt and smoke, She coughed waving her hand in front of her face as she walked toward the cross walk. She jabbed the call button, Jo shoved her hands in her jacket pockets as she watched the walk signal flash, eventually turning from red to green allowing her to jog across the street toward the office park. 

Jo pushed the door open, stepping into the waiting room which was furnished with a soft leather armchair, love seat and an oak coffee table covered in magazines. The walls were painted a gray-blue, meant to help calm overly anxious patients. 

Fumbling with her phone to turn off her music as she approached the front desk, Jo avoided eye contact as she mumbled under her breath. “I, uh, have an appointment for Jo Murphy.” 

The sound of typing and of paper rustling was followed by. “Okay. You have a copay of thirty dollars.” Jo handed over her debit card, tapping her fingers against the counter, avoiding eye contact. The card was placed on the counter and slid toward her as the receptionist spoke. “You can wait, and Dr. Ross will be with you momentarily.” 

Jo wordlessly took the card, turning and moving to sit on the edge of the armchair, turning her music back on. She scrolled through her playlist as her leg bounced with anxiety as music began to play again, fixing her gaze on the ground. 

“Jo?” Dr. Ross’s voice called, and Jo’s head snapped up to see the middle-aged woman standing in the doorway. “Are you ready?”

Pausing her music and turning off her headphones, Jo pushed herself to her feet. She followed her therapist down the hall toward her office. Stepping inside the darkened office which smelled of lavender and sage and was cozy in its smallness. Jo perched herself on the edge of the couch, leg bouncing anxiously as she twiddled her thumbs. 

“I’m so glad you could make it, Jo.” 

“I’m glad one of us is.” Jo snarked without thinking, causing her therapist to chuckle. ‘Good. I’m getting a good grade in therapy. Something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.’