Once again, my alarm screeched to life at its normal time to wake me up, sending me scrambling out of bed to get ready for work. Unfortunately, I forgot that I went out drinking the night before, leaving me nauseatingly dizzy upon sitting up.

Holy- I'm going to vomit.

I stilled immediately and clamped my right hand over my lips. Saliva pooled in the bottom of my mouth.

Deep breaths. There's no way in hell I'm going to throw up all over my bed right now.

I griped the covers beneath me.

I feel like absolute shit. What the fuck did I do last night?

As I sat there trying to calm down, I surveyed my room. Both my closet and bathroom doors were ajar with around two sets of dirty clothes thrown down beside each of them. The shoes I presumably wore yesterday were stacked on top of each other and were keeping the door to my room propped open. Next to me, on the windowsill beside my bed, was also a misplaced necklace, a role of scotch tape, a pair of mismatched earrings, expired mascara, and a scrunchie. I cringed.

I don't even know how any of those got there. I should probably think about cleaning up my place soon..

When taking a second glance, I noticed something on my nightstand. It was a little bit crumpled but otherwise seemed intact. Nothing really goes on my nightstand except for my alarm clock, phone, and some hair ties, so it was pretty easy to spot. Looking a little harder, I realized it was a small piece of rectangular paper.. 

Wait.

All at once, the memories of the previous evening hit me. I bent forward.

Ugh, migraine.

My head felt like it was being split in half and pulled apart. At least I couldn't feel the nausea anymore. I straightened myself and removed my hand from my face. Still heavily aware of the thrumming all throughout my head, I glanced back over at the business card.

That man.. Turner, was it? Yes, Amir's friend. He offered me a job, right? Oh my God. He offered me a job! He said it pays well too, no? This.. this is going to change my life!

I slowly untangled my sheets from my torso and legs.

Hold on, hold on. I shouldn't get too ahead of myself here. Sure, he's Amir's acquaintance, but that doesn't mean I can blindly trust a man I just met last night.

I got up and headed toward my bathroom to assess the damage of the previous night.

Besides, I have time to think it over. I don't need to jump into it or anything, and I can probably talk to Amir about it too. Yeah, that sounds like a god plan. I'll stop by Al's this weekend for a visit and learn a little more about Turner.. minus the copious amounts alcohol.

Staring into the mirror, I was surprised that I appeared relatively alright. Besides looking visibly hungover and some badly smudged makeup, I was still decently put together.

Guess I'll start with my hair.

On my way out the door, I grabbed my keys, my phone, and threw on whatever shoes I could find. I had already decided to call Steph on my way to work to get her input on the new job opportunity. She's.. eccentric most of the time, but I'd trust her with my life, so I'm sure she'll try her hardest to give me the best advice she can.

I made my way out of my apartment and down the concrete steps of the building. I spotted my car, made my way over to it, and hopped in. I hooked up my phone via usb cord to the console and started my car. 

Alright.

I opened my phone and sifted through my recent contacts. I found Steph immediately and selected the "call" option. As my phone rung, I buckled myself in and started backing out of my parking space.

"Hello, it's Steph"

"Hey, Steph, how are you?"

Steph's voice immediately went up and octave, "Oh my God! Ally, is that you? You haven't called me in millennia! Where have you been?"

"Er," I don't think she'd be pleased to know that I'd picked up a third job, so I just said, "I've been busy."

"Overworking yourself?"

I could almost hear her eye roll through my phone.

"Steph."

"What, am I wrong?" she dead-panned.

"Stop teasing me," I huffed.

"We both know what the answer is, Ally."

"Steph, c'mon," I said, exasperated. 

"Ok, ok, I'll lay off it," she sighed, "Really though, what are you calling me for? We both know you don't call unless you've got something serious you wanna talk about."

"Mm, you know me too well."

Feigning shock, she exclaimed, "Of course I do! I've known you since high school! What kind of friend would I be if I didn't know every little thing about you?"

I laughed. She could brighten an entire room with how overwhelmingly bubbly her attitude is all the time. It's admirable. Though, she could also light an entire neighborhood on fire with how angry she can get.

"Thanks, Steph."

There was a pause on the other end.

"Ally?"

"Hm?"

She stopped again.

I waited for a bit until I tried a second time, "What's up?"

"It's just I..," she trailed off.

I gave her a moment before I gently pried, "You just what?"

I laid back in my seat, smiling.

It sounds like she's going to tell me how her and her fifth boyfriend broke up this month. Should I hand her off to Connie?

"It's just that.. that haven't heard you laugh in a long time," she said quietly.

I looked down at her name on my phone screen. Her voice had cut through my lighthearted mood and left the cabin of my car in somber silence. I didn't know what to say.

She started hesitantly, "Y'know we worry about you, right? Me and Connie."

I focused a little harder on the road.

"I'm fine," I said abrasively.

Not this again.

"Ally," frustration bleeding into her voice, "You always say that, but it's not hard to tell you're struggling. We're not dumb." When I said nothing, her tone rose, "Connie might trust you to take care of yourself but I don't, and you haven't given me any reason to. Every time I see you, your eye bags are worse than the last time. You are skin and bones, God dammit! Have you looked in the mirror lately? It's getting harder and harder to sit back and watch you crumble! You don't even look like yourself anymore!"

She was practically shrieking by her last sentence.

"Can we..," I sighed, "can we have this discussion another time?"

"Allison Murray! I just told you I'm scared about your wellbeing! Are you even listening to me?"

I don't.. I don't want to talk about this right now.

"I am, I am, I just don't think it's a good time."

"So help me Ally..! Then answer me this, when will it ever be a good time? Because there hasn't been a single "good time" for the past few years!!" she roared.

"Steph-"

"Answer me."

"I don't know."

A large crash sounded through the speakers of my phone. I gripped the wheel.

Fuck. She's been going on similar tirades more often, so I've turned to throwing myself into work to avoid her. I really need to sit down with her and talk it out, but it's.. hard for me. Why can't she see that?

"Steph? Are you alrigh-"

"No!" she screamed.

I cringed.

"I'm not alright, Ally! How the hell can I be alright when you're not? I know you don't care much about yourself, but I do! And to see you hurting like this.. it's.. it's heartbreaking!"

"Steph, please."

"Ally, I swear to God if you're about to suggest we talk about this later again..," she audibly seethed.

Ah.

"I, um, I called you on my way to work, so I can't-"

"Of course you did!" she shouted, "Work this, work that, It's the only thing you seem to care about these days!"

God, I really fucked up this time, didn't I?

"I-I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are."

"I am, Steph, I really am. I didn't mean to upset you, I swear."

Silence.

"Steph," I repeated.

Still nothing.

She does not make this easy.

"Look," I prepared myself, "We can talk about it on Sunday, I promise. It won't be over the phone, and you can tell me all of your concerns and I'll listen. I know you keep bringing this up because you're worried, and I get that. If you were having trouble with something I'd no doubt be troubled along with you. I know you care, so thank you, and I'm sorry that I've made you feel the way you have for so long. I didn't know it.. affected you so much. I'll do better in the future, you have my word."

Quiet. 

This is awful. I never realized how much this has been eating her alive until now. I feel horrible.

Steph shuffled around and then spoke.

"I should be the one apologizing," her voice cracked, "I'm sure you have your reasons for things, and I just blew up at you because.. because you always brush me off. Me and Connie both. But my actions just now weren't necessary, I should know better than to yell at you. It's not what either of us need. And- Oh my, I shouted at you! Ally, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! I should know better, oh my goodness! I'm so, so sorry!"

I relaxed a bit.

"It's ok, Steph. I know you meant well. We make mistakes sometimes and that's perfectly fine. If I was more receptive to your feelings in the first place this wouldn't have happened at all, so please don't blame yourself."

"Then you can't blame yourself either," she sniffled.

"Alright, I won't."

Neither of us talked for the next minute. I continued to drive, and Steph continued to shuffle around.

"You.. need to get to work, right?" she asked, breaking the silence, "You must be close now."

I glanced around and determined that I was about three minutes out from my destination. I hadn't even realized where I was until I forcibly shook myself out of the autopilot-like daze I was in.

"Yeah, you're right."

"We'll talk another time?"

"Of course."

"See to you later, Ally."

"Bye."

I burst through the door of my apartment.

I need to remember to put a jacket in my car.

I took my shoes off and turned the corner into my room. I threw my phone on my nightstand and walked over to my bathroom to set my keys on the counter. Along the way, I shimmied out of my top and pants and kicked the discarded clothing toward my closet. I placed my keys near the sink and started to remove my makeup.

I've made up my mind. One job will be much more manageable than three, and it'll be the first step toward bettering myself for Steph. If I can secure myself a position, then I'll start arranging my leave from all my current workplaces and figure things out from there. This is the right decision, I know it.

I began brushing my teeth and bent over to start my shower.

I'll contact Turner tomorrow and let him know I'm interested, then I'll smooth things out with Steph and Connie the next day. I will get this job. This is a once in a life time opportunity and I'm not going to throw it away, not if it gives me a chance.

The steam of the shower pulled me from my thoughts.

I need to breathe. Today has been a roller coaster and a half, and I'm absolutely exhausted. I'm going to relax, and I won't think about anything that's happened in the past two days for the rest of the night.

After spitting out the remainder of my toothpaste, I stripped off my underwear and bra and stepped into the stream of hot water.