***

So far, no luck. Jamie thumbed through the new profiles that had been added to see if there was anyone who seemed anywhere close to the kind of guy that could be writing that piece of crap. Everyone’s profiles appeared to start blurring together at one point. The same shirtless pics, the same angle, the same pickup lines. Unlike other times, Jamie was moving past the guys trying to catch his attention, or those he was supposed to be interested in like someone browsing through an offer at a supermarket that meant nothing to him anymore.

He groaned and pushed his fists against his eyes. Was this really going nowhere?

His phone pinged and he was about to reject another request for DM, when he saw the profile picture. Now, that was something interesting.

“Hello, weirdo,” he said with a small smile.

***

His palms were sweaty and he wiped them on his jeans a few times. It looked like Jamie was going for the bait, but it seemed unsettling that he was doing it so fast. To really get the goods on the guy, he needed to get as up close and personal as he could. Only then would he be able to give a proper account of the fraud Jamie Vayne was. It would count as his final exam before graduation, so all the risks were worth it.

Was Jamie even into something like this? He probably was. He was so indiscriminate – or so he seemed – when it came to his bed partners, and being the superficial guy that he was, he always wanted to try something new. That was why he was such a heartbreaker. He broke guys’ hearts before they even got to meet him for the first time.

Like a fortress well-known for being unbreakable, Jamie’s legend preceded him. Likely most heroes wouldn’t even try, because they knew the quest would lead to their certain doom.

But he wasn’t like other boys. He would go as far as forcing Jamie into admitting to his true self. His campaign would end up with a casualty and one only, and he knew that guy’s name. He pressed send and waited for the next message, his heart in his throat.

***

“So, is this your persona? Do you dress up like this all the time?” Jamie asked, as he observed the heavy silhouette trudging along the path ahead.

It was night, as had been required by his would-be hookup, and the place was deserted, also per the request coming from the same source. Jamie took in the huge fluffy pink rabbit, his lips stretching into a big smile. Because of the huge head, he couldn’t tell the actual height of the person hiding within, and also because the costume was so big and fluffy the guy inside it could be skinny or not.

The thing was, this guy must have gone to great lengths to disguise himself and most likely hoped to fool Jamie into something that, until now, hadn’t been named. Their short exchange set up a meeting. Jamie hadn’t made any of his usual advances and naughty talk. He was curious, he had told the stranger in the pink rabbit costume. The other had replied that he had wanted to meet the great Jamie for a long time.

Everything necessary for them to set up a meeting off campus late at night had been met. And now, Jamie intended to uncover the truth behind the rabbit mask, but not before he made the guy squirm and admit that he was Xpress.

All in due time, he told himself. There was a high probability that this rabbit was just a guy who liked dressing up because he was unsure of his charms and didn’t dare to hook up like everyone else, by posting shirtless selfies on dating apps.

“I didn’t think you’d really come,” a raspy voice began.

“Why not?” Jamie opened his arms wide to show that he couldn’t understand why he’d be considered a no-show when he had agreed to this strange meeting.

“Because guys like you hook up with pretty people only.”

“You don’t know me,” Jamie replied and crossed his arms. “On the other hand, I didn’t say anything about hooking up. I’m simply curious about what sort of guy would choose to sweat in a mascot costume instead of showing the goods.”

“There may be a long list of reasons for that.” The rabbit stopped at a fair distance from Jamie, as if he was afraid of coming too close.

“I only want to hear about yours. Let’s walk.” Jamie gestured with his chin.

“We’re not hooking up?”

“Are you going to get rid of that costume?”

“No.”

“Then the answer is no. Obviously, I only go to bed with people I have chemistry with. Or at least a little spark,” Jamie said. “What do you want from this meeting?”

The rabbit seemed to ponder over his next line. “Everyone says you’re the guy to talk to when your heart is broken.”

“Really? How so?” Jamie asked and pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans to stifle the itch of grabbing the guy’s mask and seeing who was hiding underneath. The voice sounded nothing like the weirdo’s in the deerstalker hat. They could be two different guys, and this meeting could lead, most likely, to Jamie assuring some insecure guy that he deserved to be appreciated for himself, soul and body, instead of hiding under that horrifying pink nightmare of a costume. It was a win-win. If this strange dude was Xpress, Jamie would grab him by the balls. If he wasn’t, Jamie would get laid.

“You are said to offer guidance and advice along with a good and satisfying fuck.”

Jamie laughed. “It seems to me like you don’t read Xpress.”

There was a short pause. “No, that is true. I don’t read Xpress,” the rabbit answered.