"Oh? Are we into nicknames now, is that why everyone has been calling you Nari? He doesn't have a specific nickname, but I think we could make one up for him. How does Riki sound?"

"...you don't think he'd kill us if we started calling him that, do you?"

"Hm... Maybe he would."

Right... I shouldn't call him that... No matter how tempting it may sound...

"Sorry, I'll have to take my leave now," Shukishi said as he stood up. "Good luck when you talk to him."

I let out a long sigh as I watched him leave the bar.

"So Rikiya isn't really your type?" Anzai asked.

"Well... He's cute and all... But I'm not sure if we'd mesh well, regardless of if he hated me or not. Why should we entertain the thought of me being interested in him in that way anyway?! Shukishi was just saying nonsense because he likes to annoy me!"

"Right, I was just thinking a relationship could be possible if you were both interested in each other. The idea is quite strange though..."

"Of course it's strange! So let's forget about this and never mention it to Rikiya ever!"

Since the talk with Shukishi, I had tried to check in with Rikiya often to casually show I cared and was interested in him even if I'd neglected my friends and employees over the years–

Is there any way to redeem myself...?

Rikiya stared at me one night at the bar counter while I stood across from him, his expression bored and annoyed. "Why do you keep asking if I'm doing alright? You're like a parrot these days, repeating the same phrase over and over."

"Because I want to get to know you and be closer to you! I know I haven't been the best boss or friend, but I'd like to change that. I promise that if you ever need help or just a friend to talk to, I'll always be here."

"When would I ever need help from you? And if you want to keep asking the same question over and over, just know that my answer will always be that I'm doing just fine on my own. I don't need your help, so just stay out of my business." He started to get out of his seat after he said what he wanted.

"Wait! Can't we just be friends...Riki? This doesn't have to be about helping each other. And...And I'm sorry if you dislike me because of Shukishi... We both know he's straight, so nothing will ever happen between us..."

Rikiya paused, a death glare forming on his face. "What the fuck did you just say? What are you implying?"

Uh oh... I made it worse... I made it so much worse... I didn't know why I tried the nickname either! I panicked since he was leaving!

"I-I mean I was just talking with Shukishi because I wanted to get to know you and–! And he really didn't say much, and maybe you liking him was more of an assumption on my part–!"

Rikiya slammed his hand on the counter, shutting me up. "Don't say another word. Stay the fuck out of my business. I don't want to be friends with you. I don't like you. I'm only working here as a favor and because I get decent pay. I don't ever want to be closer to you than we are now, just boss and employee. Don't talk to me again unless it's about work. Got that?"

I messed up so badly... I might never be able to come back from this... I could only nod obediently. He marched out the front door, slamming it behind him as usual. I hoped it wouldn't break one of these days... I put my face in my hands and groaned at all my failures.

Anzai patted me on the back. "It's alright. Rikiya is satisfied with how things are now and that may never change. We should just respect that and live our own lives."

"I know... You're right... I don't want to somehow make him hate me even more... Although I think I did that just now..."

"I don't think it's all your fault. He has a temper."

I knew it wasn't just me he acted angry with. The only person he was kinda nice to was Shukishi. And the customers I guess, but some of them seemed to like when he was rude and talked back. Atsutane was also Shukishi's kouhai, so I bet Rikiya disliked him to a certain degree as well. Speaking of, I didn't know how Shukishi and Atsutane had met either. Once again, I felt that I was a terrible person...

I caught Atsutane after work hours. When I said I wanted to chat a bit, he offered to let us ride around in his limousine that the butler would be driving. A limousine?! Do all rich people own one?!

When we sat down inside, the cushions were of high quality leather with a drink bar on one side. Atsutane happily poured us drinks. I set mine aside on a table while Anzai took a sip of his.

"So what did you want to chat about?" Atsutane asked.

"Well, I've been trying to win Rikiya's heart so he'll open up to me and we can be friends, but I failed so badly that our relationship is now worse than before... I still wanted to get to know him more even if it had to be through other people. I talked to Shukishi about how he met Rikiya and now I'm wondering how you met Shukishi and Rikiya."

"Right, I've never told you the story! I'm sorry to hear about your experience with Rikiya but I can't say I'm surprised... Even though we first met you two in the hospital with all three of us, I've never really been friends with Rikiya."

"Really?"

He nodded. "I met Shukishi in college. We didn't really know each other or had many classes together, but we passed by each other on campus occasionally. To be honest, I had quite the presence since everyone knew my family and how rich I was..."

"Your family has dabbled in a lot of businesses like things from jewelry to kid's toys, right?"

"Yeah, it's hard to go anywhere or buy anything without hearing the Hori family name. My name was too obvious and rumors spread immediately through the school when I began attending. Getting driven to school in a limousine also didn't help..."

"Did you get to drink in this limousine even when you were young?" I joked with a grin.

"I only drank when I was of age! I'm a good kid!"

"You're better than me then."

"And me," Anzai said, still sipping on his drink.

"You two are a bunch of delinquents..."

"You could have let loose though," I said. "I'm sure your parents would have helped you if you ever got into legal trouble."

"Like I said, I'm a good kid! I never wanted to get into trouble."

"You're so much better than me..."

"Anyway, Shukishi had admitted he was interested in who I was as well but never approached until later into our first year. To be honest, I was really struggling with finding myself and understanding my sexuality... I hurt people in the process when I hadn't meant to. It was when I had hurt yet another friend who fell for me and was feeling sorry for myself that Shukishi approached me finally. We had a meaningful talk and I felt he could really understand me. Did he ever tell you guys he was bi-curious at one point?"

I sat up straighter. "Huh? No way! He never said anything about that."

"Yeah, he said he experimented with some guys but didn't feel as attracted to them as he was to women. He figured he was straight instead of bi. I felt connected to him since we were both trying to figure out our sexualities. I only met Rikiya a little bit before I met you two. Shukishi wanted to bring his friends together to help you guys out."

I had no idea... I wondered if his flirting was somewhat more genuine than I thought...? But Atsutane said he figured he was straight. I doubted that his flirting was serious anymore. I'm sure he just wants to annoy me and that's all there is to it...

"How was your first meeting with Rikiya?"

"About the same as yours," Atsutane smiled sheepishly. "He never looked very friendly and was mostly quiet, but when he did speak, it was a bit rude. I tried to be kind to him and we've been getting along fine, but I wouldn't say we're close friends by any means."

I wonder what made Rikiya close himself off to everyone. Something had to have happened to him, right? Or something could still be happening..? No way, right? Shukishi said he helped keep him safe. There was no way he'd still be in some kind of danger, right? It worried me though...

"Do you...know about Rikiya possibly liking Shukishi...?" It was a touchy topic, but the two weren't here right now. I couldn't help but be morbidly curious after Rikiya's reaction.

"To be honest, that kind of stuff usually goes over my head. Although now that you say that, I wouldn't be surprised if Rikiya liked him. Do you think Shukishi experimented with him?"

"No way... The way Shukishi talked, I figured he turned him down and never entertained anything with him." But what if they did...? I think that would blow my mind...

"You're right. I doubt they'd be as good friends as they are now if that had happened!"

Anzai finished his drink and placed the cup aside. I glanced at my full glass. If I were to take even one sip, no matter how low the alcohol concentration, I wouldn't be able to last long. Why was I gifted with the worst liver ever? Why was I given the ability to get drunk immediately no matter what?

"Sorry I can't finish the drink you poured..." I said, feeling melancholy.

"It's alright, I thought I should offer drinks since we have the bar here! I'll finish it off myself." He grabbed the glass and gulped it all down in one sitting. That's so insane... How can people do that...

It was getting late and our chat was pretty much over, so Atsutane had his butler drop us off at home. Anzai looked tired after his drink and lazily waved goodnight as he went inside his apartment. He could be really cute sometimes... I didn't think I'd seen him really drunk before. I wanted to see what he'd be like...

I talked to Shukishi again later while Atsutane stayed after hours as well. We brought up him being bi-curious at one point.

"Oh my, you've been telling secrets," Shukishi smiled at Atsutane.

"I'm sorry, was it a secret?!"

"No, not really. I don't usually talk about it though unless it somehow comes up."

"You met Rikiya a little before we had that talk in college though, right? Did you two ever...?"

"Go out? No, I'm afraid not. I wanted to be friends with him, not try to experiment with him. The timing would have been awful if I allowed it anyway. He was already going through a lot."

Like I thought, nothing happened between them in that regard... His vagueness was making me even more curious about what happened to Rikiya. I wished Rikiya would open up to me. It wasn't like I'd ever laugh in his face at what he wanted to tell me. But I guess that was the thing, he never wanted to tell me anything. I would never get to learn and I would have to respect that.

"Since we're on the topic," Shukishi said as he put his chin in his hand, "when did you first realize you were into men, Narihira?"

Everyone's eyes were on me. "I mean... I've always gravitated towards men more than women... And I guess my first real crush made it official."

Everyone perked up, Shukishi's eyes widening. "First crush? Have I ever heard you talk about this?"

I suddenly felt nervous. Everyone's eyes were digging into me and Anzai seemed to be standing closer than before. "S-So what? It's normal to have crushes in your childhood! It wasn't a big deal, that's why I never brought it up." What good would it do anyway to keep dwelling on him? I've always wanted to forget him after he abandoned me, but it was easier said than done.

"Are you sure it wasn't a big deal? You said it was your first real crush. Something happened between you two, didn't it?" Shukishi was egging me on to spill the beans with a smirk.

Atsutane gasped and put a hand over his mouth. "Is he the one who took your first...?"

"His first?" Shukishi sounded far too intrigued.

"My first kiss!" I quickly said. "We never went further than that!"

"Really?" Anzai asked, standing way too close now. I could feel his body heat radiating off of him.

"Really! It was a dumb crush when I was young and after the kiss, we parted ways."

"I'm sorry, it sounds like the kiss didn't go well..." Shukishi said.

"I mean... I guess so... Maybe it just wasn't the right time for either of us..." I didn't really want to talk about it anymore. Is there a way to change the subject?

"That's too bad, I wish I was your first," Shukishi beamed.

I blanked. "Huh?! Why?!"

"I thought you were cute in high school. You didn't seem to like me though."

"You...You liked me?!" Maybe his usual flirting was actually genuine?!