(CW: Violence.) 

I felt like there were men yelling and blows were being exchanged, but in the next moment it was suddenly quieter and there was a rhythmic pounding sound happening instead. I turned around to look at the fight again. That was when I saw Anzai pummeling Togai relentlessly, not stopping even though the man's body looked lifeless. His men lied on the floor, not moving either.

I tried to get to my feet. I watched Anzai with wide eyes, assuming he'd stop at any moment. He didn't. I realized he wasn't going to stop. He was really going to kill a man if he wasn't dead already.

"A..." My throat felt scratchy. I swallowed my bile. "Anzai! Stop!" I hurried over to him on unsteady feet. I threw myself on his back to make him stop. "Anzai! That's enough! Please! Stop!"

He finally stopped. He slowly lowered his fist, Togai's shirt still in his grip. His face looked all bloody and unrecognizable.

"Anzai..." I said into his ear, still holding onto his back.

He dropped the man and backed up. He turned around and hugged me. "Narihira..."

"It's alright," I said. "I'm alright..."

"What did he do to you...? I won't forgive him..."

I looked up at him. Instead of his usual blank expression, his eyebrows were knit together and he looked distraught. My eyes widened at his new expression that I've never seen before. He didn't even see what happened exactly, but he was really going to kill a man for me.

I wrapped my arms around him tighter, leaning my head against his chest. "It's okay... You saved me... I'm alright..."

"Are you sure...? I can't believe I left you to be alone with him like that..."

"You were just trying to save my bar. I understand."

"I'll punch him again... I'll punch him a million times..." His grip on me started to hurt.

"No! It's alright. You'll kill him if you do that."

His grip loosened. I parted to look up at him again. His face looked pale as he glanced behind us.

"I...I didn't actually kill him, right...?"

I grabbed his shirt collar and shook my head. "No! You didn't! It's alright!"

"...I'm just like my father... I let my anger get the best of me... I killed him, didn't I...?" His voice cracked.

I shook my head again. I hurried around him to get to Togai. When I got to him, I hesitated. I didn't want to touch him. But I had to put Anzai at ease. I reached out carefully to check his pulse. I checked on his neck and wrist, his heart was still beating.

"He's not dead! I'm sure none of these men are! If we call an ambulance, it'll be alright. You're not like your father, Anzai. You're a good person." I met his eyes but he still seemed shaken.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, his hands still sticky with blood and I could tell they were shaking. I hurried to hold his hands to steady his phone.

"It'll be alright," I said. "I promise."

We called the police and waited for them on a sofa by the door. Part of it had been ripped to shreds. We sat quietly until they arrived with ambulances.

All the men were taken to the hospital to be treated, us as well. I wasn't harmed physically like the others though. I sat with Anzai in his hospital room as his hands were bandaged and so were the wounds on his face. The police questioned us. I told them everything, leaving nothing out. Well, I did leave out the details of what Togai did to me. I couldn't bring myself to say the words. I vaguely told them that he was saying nasty things to me and tried to lay his hands on me.

Since it seemed like we were the victims in this incident despite all the bodies on the floor, the police let us go. Before we went home though, I asked if the men were all alright. I had to make sure none of them died. Thankfully they said they would all recover in time. Anzai still had a distant look in his eyes.

When we got to our apartments, I grabbed his hand. "I don't want to be alone."

"...Me neither. Did you want to come in?" He referred to his apartment.

The second time I'll have visited... Of course I said yes. I glanced around before we took a seat on his couch. We still had to process everything that happened. There was no way I could just go to sleep now even though it was quite late.

"...Are you alright?" Anzai asked.

"...Could be better. And you?"

"...I'm alright. I kind of...scared myself though..."

I hugged him. "I know. But you didn't do anything wrong. You saved me."

"...I hope so. Do you...want to tell me what he did to you...? I just saw you crying and disheveled and all I saw was red after that..."

I let go of him and hesitated. "...I can't. Not right now. Could I...use your shower...?" I felt filthy in more ways than one.

"Of course. I can get some clothes for you or you could stop by your apartment."

I stood up. "I could borrow some clothes if that's alright."

"Give me a moment."

He went to his room to get some clothes and a towel. I peeked inside and noticed the bed looked strange. I mean, it was an ordinary bed, but it looked bigger. I knew I only visited once before and that was years ago, but the bed there now was clearly bigger than mine. I thought we had similar furniture, but maybe he needed a bigger bed? It looked big enough to fit two people of Anzai's size easily.

He handed me what I needed and I went to the bathroom, deciding to just put the bed out of my mind. I scrubbed my body, hoping I could feel cleaner. My mouth felt the dirtiest though. I looked at the bar of soap in my hand. Then I proceeded to wash my mouth with it. It wasn't very pleasant, but I did my best to wash the bitterness out of my mouth for good. Tears came to my eyes, the incident now forever burned into my memory. Why did that have to happen... I wished it never did... I really wished it never had to happen...

I took longer than I should have in the bath, but I needed time to stop crying. When I looked at my long hair in the mirror, I almost felt disgusted. To think they'd grab me like that and use my greatest asset against me... I couldn't move my head at all... I didn't want to look at it and keep remembering it. I wanted to forget all about this. I didn't want to have to remember this for the rest of my life.

When I left the bathroom, Anzai was in the living room on the couch again. It looked like he was zoning out.

"Anzai, do you have scissors?" I asked.

He stood up. "Scissors...?"

I nodded. He went to the kitchen and found a pair in a drawer. He handed them over.

"What do you need them for?"

I went into the toilet room without answering. I pulled a section of my hair over my shoulder and readied the scissors. Anzai was staring at me in the mirror.

"You're...cutting your hair...?" He asked.

"I'm just...tired of looking at it..."

There was a long moment of hesitation. I stared at myself in the mirror, asking if I really wanted to do this. If I really wanted to cut off all my years of hard work to grow it this long and all the money I put into keeping it beautiful. But I didn't want it to be used like that again. So I wanted to take a step in a different direction for once.

Anzai didn't say another word. We both watched as the scissors closed and about 15 inches of silver hair fell to the floor. Then I cut more and more and even more hair fell to the ground. Anzai stepped closer, asking for the scissors. I hesitated before handing them over, thinking he was trying to stop me. But he proceeded to trim the back and sides to make it look better. Then he used his electric razor to style it a bit. When he was finished, we admired the new look together.

"It looks nice," he said as he gently brushed his fingers against my short hair. It was now more boyish and some of my femininity disappeared. I felt better seeing it.

"Thanks..."

"You'll have to wash your hair again so it isn't itchy."

"We should clean the floor first..." It looked like a snow storm blew through.

After we swept and vacuumed, we took turns bathing. I helped bandage his wounds again.

"Did they sting in the water...?" I asked.

"It was manageable."

"Still... I feel like this is all my fault."

"What are you saying? It wasn't. You couldn't have predicted this would happen. If that man was even a bit more of a decent person, he would have never done that."

"I guess so..."

There was a moment of silence after I finished bandaging his wounds. He checked the tightness of the bandages before speaking again.

"...should we get some rest?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure if I even can sleep... Today was a lot... I'm exhausted, but I'm worried I might just have nightmares."

He grabbed my hand. "If you do, then I'll be there to calm you down. You should try to get some rest after such a horrible day."

I slowly nodded. Then he stood up, taking my hand with him, making me stand up as well.

"We can share my bed," he said.

Share...Share his bed?!

"I'm not forcing you though if it's too uncomfortable," he added while averting his eyes.

I shook my head. "No, that'd be nice... Thank you..."

He nodded. I felt a bit embarrassed and awkward despite myself. I was really going to be sharing a bed with my crush...? Maybe I'd have trouble sleeping for a different reason...

We awkwardly chose sides of the bed and settled under the blankets in the dark. My heart sounded loud to me, thumping quickly in the silence of his room. I thought that silence would go on forever until he spoke again.

"Thanks...for stopping me."