I pulled my hand back. The feeling of the rabbit’s fur was still stuck to my skin, as though it refused to release me. It leaned forward again, bumping its nose against my wrist. Not too hard, just enough to make it clear it was paying attention.

I kept expecting the tension to come back, but it did not.

Its eyes did not look dangerous anymore. Still glowing, still unnatural, but now they seemed focused. No hint of an animal remained, and a human steadiness filled that gaze.

That should not have made sense, but it did.

Before I could figure out what that meant, my vision glitched. A flash struck, and my mind felt reset for a heartbeat. Then the overlay appeared again. Blue light wrapped around the rabbit in a clean digital sweep.

_______________________________________

Horny Rabbit (Kiiroi)

Level: 1

Title: None

Description: An edible Kiiroi Ikimono. Its meat is tender when roasted or made into a stew—

________________________________________

I stared at the screen.

Then read it slower, hoping I had mistaken the word edible.

Nope. Still there. This puffball was listed like it belonged on a grocery shelf.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I muttered, rubbing my forehead.

The rabbit was now cleaning its paw. No urgency. It kept licking and showed no concern over being treated as a soup ingredient.

I glanced down at it.

“Don’t worry, buddy. I’m not about to throw you in a pot,” I said. My voice sounded shaky. Not scared, just off balance. “No one’s making stew today.”

Then I noticed the next part of the entry.

________________________________________

—Be careful of its horn if it’s a male.

________________________________________

My brain stumbled.

Horn?

I lowered my gaze, scanning the top of its head.

Nothing. The fur was smooth and clean. No bump, no scar. Not even a weird patch. Just a very normal looking forehead.

“Seriously?” I muttered, leaning closer. “Where’s this horn supposed to be hiding?”

No answer, obviously. It just kept licking.

Maybe it was female. Maybe it had not grown one yet. Maybe it had lost it somehow.

I did not know how these things worked. I did not even know if this creature’s biology followed any logic at all.

I scratched my temple.

“Alright, either you’re not what the system thinks you are, or someone’s out here yanking unicorn horns for sport.”

It sneezed. The second it happened, something in it shifted. Its eyes changed.

The soft, curious glow flickered and then went hard. Brighter, deeper. Some quiet restraint inside it seemed to snap, and the calm vanished in an instant.

I took a few steps back.

Whatever this thing was, it was not mild anymore. And whatever connection I thought we had was gone.

“Okay,” I said. “Nope. No no no.”

It observed me. Not blinking.

Then it moved.

No signal. No warning. No buildup. Just movement. A flash. A blur. One second it was still, the next it was mid-air, aimed straight for me in a way that left no room for escape.

And in that split second, I saw it.

The horn.

Not on its head.

Not on its back.

Between its legs.

There. Right there.

And it was not subtle. It was long and sharp.

My whole body locked up. I wanted to scream. I wanted to curse.

You ever have one of those moments where you realize you’ve just made the dumbest decision of your life? Yeah. This was mine.

I ducked. Almost threw out my shoulder doing it.

But I did not care. Whatever that thing was, I was not getting impaled by its weird biology today.

And that moment of peace, that brief flicker of hope, yeah, that was gone.

I was back in survival mode, and apparently, that now included dodging flying groin lances from deceptively cute forest demons.

The horn missed my face by a breath. I slammed onto the ground hard, elbows scraping through leaves and rock. My teeth clacked. Dirt filled my mouth. Something sharp jabbed into my ribs. I spat and choked and coughed out whatever plant I had just swallowed.

I felt my existence had just been sucker punched. My brain tried to replay my life in a flash, skipping straight to every humiliating moment.

I’ll give it to you straight. Nothing about this felt fair. Or legal.

The rabbit landed a few feet away, casual, and nothing in its posture hinted at any strain. Its ears flicked. Its eyes glowed with that weird knowing look again, a bright pride settled in that stare.

Nope. Not letting that happen again.

I pushed myself up into a low crouch, knees screaming. My fingers twitched and stood ready to summon something. I opened my mouth to say something tough that might buy me a second of control.

“Hey, Bunny! If anyone’s doing the screwing here, it’s going to be me!”

The words hung in the air.

Silence.

Even the wind paused, like it was thinking, bruh…

The rabbit blinked.

I blinked.

I could not believe I had just said that.

The bunny twitched.

I twitched harder.

It leaped again, all horn and fury, and what followed was not really a fight. The mess turned into a chaotic blur with fur flying and slapstick disaster at every turn.

We rolled. We tumbled. I was pretty sure we accidentally did a synchronized somersault at one point. It was wild, messy, and absolutely not PG.

The little freak latched onto my back.

And his horn? Way too close to… yeah, nope. You got it. One hell of a compromising position.

“Stop poking your dick at my butt, you little creep!” I yelled, thrashing with the panic of a man set on fire.

I tried to shake him off, but the pervy furball clung on and turned the whole thing into a deranged romantic piggyback ride from hell.

He bounced off and launched straight for my face. I ducked just in time, spun on pure fear, grabbed his hind legs, and flung him in a clean spinning throw.

He flew through the air, smacked into a tree, bounded away with ridiculous force, and curved back toward me.

But I did not wait. I charged in, snatched him mid-air by the throat as though I had stepped into an absurd action tale, and slammed him into the dirt with everything I had.

“Die, you perverted bunny!” My voice cracked.

I breathed hard. Dirt covered me. My eyes were wide.

Then I saw it.

Movement.

To my side.

No.

Oh no.

Five more rabbits popped out of the bushes, furry little demons born of pure spite.

And yeah, whatever cuteness points they had had before were gone. Completely gone. Murder stares and a creepy cult aura replaced any hint of charm. They were not hopping around like harmless woodland critters anymore.

Nah.

They locked on me as though I had devoured their last morsel and become public enemy number one.

They glanced at the rabbit I had just suplexed into the ground.

Then all turned their glowing red eyes on me. In perfect sync.

“Oh great. Just what I needed,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.

I threw up my hands. “What was I supposed to do? Your friend tried to dick me!”

One of them stepped forward and shrieked, a call for backup straight out of a Pokémon boss fight. The sound cut through the forest, and suddenly it clicked.

That was the howling from earlier.

The one that had made me think this world was crawling with werewolves or banshees or… I did not know, something less… fluffy?

Nope.

Just mutant rabbits with anger issues.

They hopped closer, slowly at first, but the way they moved together freaked me out.

Not kidding. They moved like they had rehearsed this. Like there was an underground bunny dojo, and I had just crashed the finals.

I backed up. My fists clenched. My heart hammered as if I faced the final round of dodgeball while everyone else still held their balls.

“Bring it on, you little devils.”

The biggest one in the group, probably the alpha, launched itself at me. I sidestepped just in time and whirled around, now facing the rest of the angry fluff squad.

They did not hesitate. They jumped in after their leader, bouncing in near perfect coordination and locked to the rhythm of some boss music, their legs coiled, ready to snap.

This could not be real.

I was fighting rabbits. Horny, rage fueled rabbits.

One of them lunged. I summoned an ishi and flung it into its ribs with the speed of a fastball. It let out a weird yelp and tumbled to the ground.

That was my cue.

“Alright, party time!” I yelled, calling for more ammo. “SŌTEN! SŌTEN! SŌTEN! BODY KICK! SŌTEN! SŌTEN! SŌTEN!” I let the ishi fly, spitting stones with the fury of a gacha machine gone mad.

One rabbit caught a stone mid-air, snatching it with uncanny timing and accuracy.

Bad move. It ate dirt.

Another came at me from the left.

I dodged just enough to land a solid boot to its side. It spun off into the underbrush.

Then it all went off the rails.

Bunnies everywhere.

Flashes of white fur, red eyes, and claws.

I was in the middle of a full blown furball melee. They attacked from every angle, swarming with disorganized energy.

I sidestepped. I punched. I kicked. I screamed. I swore I pulled off a roundhouse I had never practiced. Then I screamed again, this time in pure disbelief.

I was basically doing wrestling choreography, but with fluffier opponents.

Their claws scraped my arms. Their teeth snapped way too close to my face.

And yeah, I might have yelled something about regretting not picking a mage class.

But I stayed cool. Well, coolish.

Instinct took over, and every move felt natural. My body moved as though it had been rehearsing for this battle since I bailed mid-match in my last fighting game.

And the crazy part? I was winning. I could feel it. My hits got faster. Stronger.

The rabbits got slower. Sloppier. They had not expected resistance. They definitely had not expected me to go full Street Fighter on their fuzzy butts.

One by one, they dropped.

Paws up. Eyes spinning. Until finally, only one was left.

And I had not even touched it.

It looked at me. Looked at its squad. And just passed out. Drama queen style.

I stood there panting, hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. Dirt on my face, fur in my mouth, and a scratch on my cheek that was definitely going to sting later.

Then the blue screen blinked into existence.

________________________________________

Kill Counts: 6

Level Up: +1

Gold: 6

Points: 2

________________________________________

So, it turned out each rabbit was worth one gold. Nice. Not jackpot nice, but “buy myself a snack and still got change” nice.

Still, I wasn’t about to throw a party.

All that noise from the fight might as well have been a flare screaming that fresh meat was over here.

I scooped up the ishi, pouncing on each one with the greed of a raccoon chasing shiny objects, and shoved them back into the Ammo. No way I was running around unarmed.

My eyes flicked over to the downed rabbits.

Not just dinner. Those furry punks were my first real loot. Which meant they were valuable. Which meant they were going straight into the Tools/Items before some level twenty forest goblin showed up for an unsolicited shopping trip.

I crouched down, then tapped each fluffy body. One by one, they vanished in a soft glow, gentle and absurdly peaceful, the forest offering its strange form of aftercare.

With the loot secured, I backed away from the spot, scanning the trees as tension crept into every shadow.

“How much time do I even have before night hits?” I muttered.

Not that the sky offered answers. It remained bright enough, yet the eerie silence slipped through the air.

Finding a spot to crash had just shot to the top of my to-do list.

I slipped through the underbrush, staying low, careful not to step on anything that might scream “I’M HERE” in twig language. The foliage gave decent cover, yeah, but it also made everything feel way too close. Like the trees were leaning in. Listening. Every tiny noise lit up my nerves.

Leaf falling? Monster.

Branch cracking? Death.

Wind blowing? Okay, that was just wind. Probably.

And here’s the thing. When you start thinking the forest’s alive, that’s when you know you’ve been out here too long.

Yeah. And I’m just a dude with some rocks, a few killer rabbits, and a rapidly escalating fear of the dark.