***

He didn’t know if the rabbit boy would follow through since he hadn’t replied to Jamie’s messages, but he was there, at their meeting place, feeling in his gut that the asshole wouldn’t miss a chance to get on his nerves.

When he saw the pink monstrosity walking down the path, Jamie got to his feet and hid himself behind a tree. He waited until the rabbit boy was in front of the bench, seemingly confused and disappointed that no one else was there. It was hard to read emotions when the other guy was dressed in an oversized rabbit suit, but Jamie liked to think that he was an excellent judge of character and cues of all sorts.

He moved quietly and attacked the rabbit from behind. With one arm around the other’s chest, he whispered into one floppy ear. “Got you.”

“Hey, unhand me at once,” the rabbit protested. “I thought you called me here to talk about yourself.”

“Wouldn’t you like that? After all, you’re trying to find my weakness. Aren’t you, Xpress?”

“What? What do you mean?” The rabbit struggled to no avail. The suit did offer him the anonymity he wanted, but it sure as hell made it difficult for him to break out of Jamie’s hold. “I’m not Xpress!”

“Like hell you’re not,” Jamie said. “I know exactly who you are. You’re the inspector, too, right? Following me everywhere, trying to catch me with my pants down, because you’re a fucking pervert, aren’t you?”

“I’m not a…”

Jamie hadn’t expected that move. The rabbit let himself go limp, Jamie released him in surprise, only to have the pink demon to turn on his heel and throw a soft paw in his face by way of a punch.

“Hey!” he shouted as the rabbit began pelting him with his large paws. The guy must think himself some kind of ninja, because he began using his feet, too.

Jamie succumbed to a bout of laughter, while the rabbit boy threw punches and kicks at him, with the ferocity of a wild dog, but with the force of cotton candy blows. “You kick like a girl!” he shouted while lying on the ground and laughing his ass off.

“I’m not a girl,” the rabbit shouted in a high-pitched voice.

“You sound like one, too!”

“No, I don’t!”

Jamie grabbed the guy’s right foot and made him fall on his back. With all the cushioning the suit provided, he couldn’t have been hurt, but he remained on his back, breathing hard. Jamie didn’t miss his chance and hopped on top of the defeated bunny, holding him down with his thighs.

“Well, well, well,” he said as he pushed one hand against the rabbit’s chest. “Should we see who’s hiding under this mask?” He searched with his other hand for a place where he could grab the helmet that made up the suit’s head.

“No,” the rabbit squeaked. “No, please, don’t do this.”

Jamie stopped. “Why shouldn’t I?”

“Because.”

“Because is not an argument.”

“Because I’m asking you not to.”

“I don’t really give a damn what you’re asking me.”

“What do you want?”

“Are you Xpress? And that crazy inspector?” Jamie grabbed the rabbit by the front of his suit and shook him to show that he meant business.

“No!”

“Then why do you care so much if I see what you’re hiding behind this stupid mask?”

“I care, because… Because I’m ugly!”

“No way you’re that ugly. You’re exaggerating.”

“No, I am, I am,” the rabbit insisted.

“Okay, if you’re that insecure. But I won’t release you until you tell me you’re Xpress.”

“I would only be lying to you so that you let me go.”

“True. I have to find a way to unmask you, then. Wait, are you actually a boy?”

“Yes, I’m a boy,” the rabbit squeaked again.

“Nah, I need to check.” Jamie turned and put his hand directly on the rabbit’s crotch.

“Hey,” the rabbit protested, but his voice turned raspy as Jamie rubbed his nether region. There was actually no way of telling. The suit was way too thick. It was a wonder this guy could move in it at all without toppling over. “Hey, those are my balls you’re squeezing!”

“Really? I don’t feel a thing,” Jamie said as he tried to identify some sort of shape through all the fluffiness.

It was his turn to grunt in surprise when the rabbit turned the tables, rolled them over and climbed on top of him after forcing him down on his back.

“I’m hard,” the rabbit boy said while breathing heavily under his mask. “Are you going to assume responsibility for this, Jamie Vayne?”

“Do you want me to jerk you off?” Jamie asked, completely stunned by the weird change of course.

“Yes,” came the raspy reply.

Well, it was an honest ask. And if his masturbation technique appeared in Xpress tomorrow, he’d know for sure.

TBC