[Image Caption: Gabe sitting in the dorm common room and studying in the early hours of the morning]

I wake up to the sound of voices. Koda is on the phone. He still sounds drunk, and when I check the time, I see that it’s only six in the fucking morning.

“What the hell?” I groan at him, glancing around.

Tyler is asleep in his bed, still dead to the world.

“Sorry,” Koda whispers, throwing me a side eye before continuing the conversation. “Yeah, sorry. I jus’stayed with a friend on campus. I’m sorry I forgot to tell you–it jus’slipped my mind.” 

It must be Koda’s parents wondering why he never came home last night. They’ve always been a little weird and overprotective. I think that’s why he doesn’t live on campus. I asked him once if it was to save money and he said no. I asked if he was close with his parents and he said no to that, too. Since then, I’ve just been assuming that he was never given a choice.

“Yeah, yeah,” Koda says quietly into the receiver, but I can hear angry shouting on the other line. “I’ll come home right now.”

He hangs up the phone and slowly gets out of bed.

“I’m sorry about last night, Nick… That was so fuckin’ shitty of me.”

“You’re not going to try and drive home, are you?” I hiss, ignoring his apology. “You’re still fucking drunk.” 

“My parents are pissed. I need to go right now.”

“No,” I insist. “You can’t drive home like this. Seriously.”

“Well, what the fuck am I supposed to do?” 

“You’re an adult,” I remind him. “Your parents are being unreasonable. Stick around here until you feel good enough to head out.”

“I need to go now.”

“Then I’ll drive you,” I offer, even though I don’t fucking want to. “I’ll drop you off and catch the bus home.”

“I just -” he starts, but I cut him off.

“You’re not putting me out,” I insist, though it’s a lie. I force myself out from under the covers. “Come on,” I add with a nod. “It’s important, right? Let’s go. If you drive, you’ll probably pass out at the wheel and die or something.”

He snorts, handing the keys over. “Probably…”

Somewhat begrudgingly, he follows after me. Neither of us bothers getting dressed. Fuck it. We leave the building and head straight for his car. I can tell Koda doesn’t feel well because he’s being so quiet. 

Even though I’ve technically known him for years, I’ve never been to his house and he has to give me directions. He ends up living pretty close to my old place in Bedford and I can’t help but think it’s unfortunate we weren’t better friends as kids.

To be honest, I didn’t have a lot of supervision when I was younger and that probably put Koda’s parents off. They were always up his ass about one thing or another while I just ran around getting into trouble. 

Before moving to Bedford, I lived in Bridgewater. It’s this tiny, bumpkin town about an hour away from the city. When I was only five years old, my parents got into a car accident and died. After that, I moved in with my aunt and uncle. They were nice, but always busy, so my cousin Corinne and I mostly hung out and did our own thing.

Soon enough, I’m pulling into a driveway in Hammonds Plains. It’s a modest looking house with a fence in the front and a big dog running around. Koda lets out a sigh.

“Want me to come in with you?” I ask.

“No,” he responds quickly.

“If you say so,” I relent. I guess I have no right to try and insert myself into the situation, weird as it is to me. I just hope his parents don’t flip out. He’s nineteen, for fuck’s sake. 

We get out of the car and I tell him I’ll see him at school as I hand back his keys.

“Thanks again…” he says, sounding apologetic. 

I hold up a hand and wave as he turns to jog up the driveway. Once he’s in, I walk until I locate the bus stop and then I ride back to campus. I’ll give Koda a text later to make sure everything is okay.

Once I’m back on campus, I walk through the front entrance of the dorm and glance into the common area. I see Gabe sitting on a sofa reading a chemistry textbook and doing some kind of worksheet.

“Hey, getting a late start I see, sleepyhead,” I joke as I walk in to greet him.

Gabe looks up and blinks. I wonder if he caught the sarcasm.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“That sucks, sorry, dude,” I give him my condolences.

“Why are you awake?” he asks, turning back to his textbook and flipping a page.

“Had to take my friend home.”

“This early?”

“I know, right?” I laugh. “He lives off campus and his parents called, wondering where he was. Guess they’re pissed he forgot to mention he was staying out.”

Gabe only nods. 

I sit with him and sigh. I feel like I shouldn’t try to ignore the fact that he had my dick in his mouth mere hours ago.

“Look, about last night -”

“Don’t worry about it,” he immediately cuts me off. “We don’t have to talk about it. I can sense you probably don’t want to.”

“Uh, well…” I pause, my voice trailing off. “I’ve never done anything with a guy before.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” he retorts and I’m not sure what he means by it. “You seemed eager - like you knew exactly what you wanted when you approached me.”

“I guess so,” I admit, unable to deny it. I lean back against the sofa and stare up at the ceiling.

“I don’t know what to tell you if you’re suddenly feeling awkward about it,” he says carelessly. He’s still leafing through his textbook, paying me little mind. “That’s not my problem.”

”It’s not that,” I insist, but maybe it is. “You seemed eager, too. You were the one who suggested it.”

“Okay,” he says, plain-faced.

I don’t know why I’m feeling weird. I never thought I’d find myself in this position, but maybe the opportunity just never presented itself. I dated Samantha for a long time and before that, I didn’t have my eyes on anyone else. When we broke up, I was too busy trying to get over her to be thinking about finding someone new.

I fidget for a moment as silence takes over.

“How was dealing with your drunk friend?” Gabe asks, blatantly changing the subject. “Did he puke in your room?”

“No. He was fine after I got him from downstairs.”

Gabe nods and I decide to put an effective end to the conversation.

“I’ll see you around,” I tell him, standing up.

“I live on the third floor in room 310 if you ever want to hang out again,” he says without even looking up at me, but I take the hint. 

I nod, even though he can’t see it. Then I wander back into my room. If he’s up for it, then maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing. Next time, I’ll do it sober.

When I’m back in my room, I shoot Koda a text message asking him if everything is okay and if his parents are still mad. He doesn’t get back to me, but he probably will later, so I let it go. Instead, I open my laptop and hop into bed, deciding to get my homework done. I hate school, to be honest. I probably wouldn’t be here if I didn’t get some scholarship for disadvantaged students.

Even with my ADHD meds, it’s hard for me to pay attention. I don’t even know what the hell I’ll end up doing with my life. I guess that sounds bad, but it’s true. Nothing interests me and I don’t want to be here, but that’s a huge part of why I'm here in the first place. I didn't know what I wanted to pursue so I just ended up moving from high school to university as a way of giving myself more time to decide. I took some interesting classes during the first term but nothing I could do for the rest of my life. I'm not comfortable committing like that.

Tyler seems like he knows what he wants. It’s intimidating to have people around who have their whole lives figured out, but luckily many students seem just as confused as me. I guess it's normal. I just hope I figure it out soon and don't drudge through my entire college experience not knowing what the hell I'm doing.

Around late noon, I finally hear my phone beep. I grab it and open up a text from Koda saying that everything is fine. It's vague, but I don't know if I have a right to pry for more information. He's weird when it comes to his family. He doesn't talk about them much, but I know enough to know they stress him out.

It bugs the hell out of me that they never seem to leave him alone. We're not little kids anymore and they should let him do what he wants. I understand that they're paying for his schooling and all but that doesn't mean they should have control over every aspect of his life. Maybe it would be fair to set a rule like no girls staying the night but a curfew feels overbearing. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a designated bedtime.

I text him back asking him if he's sure. He says he is, then tells me he'll see me in class. I guess that's that. He doesn't want to talk about it. He never fuckin' does.

Whatever, though. He seems to function fine within this. If it bugged him enough he'd probably tell them to step off and let him live his life but it must not feel worth the fight.

***

On Monday, Koda seems perfectly fine. I get a little nosy and ask what his parents said when he got back, but he just shrugs and says, "Typical stuff. They just worried because I didn't tell them where I was going to be."

"Oh, shitty," I tell him, but I guess that’s fair enough.

We have Introduction to Statistics together, which is a full year course. It's fucking boring. I regret taking it. At least the professor is cool, though. His name is Karl and he seems like he doesn't give a fuck about anything.

We sit in the back. Koda ends up dozing off. The professor probably notices, but he doesn't say anything. Koda is only wasting his own time since he’s paying to be here.

I try to take some notes. I try to pay attention. I try to sit still, but my mind keeps racing the way it always does.

Up at the front of the classroom there's Samir Zhouri. I know his name because we went to high school together, too, and he's best friends with Corinne. I've hung out with him before in a group setting but we didn't really talk—we don't have much in common. We don’t get along, even with all the times he’s visited the family house. 

Samir takes his grades seriously which is why he's always up at the front of the classroom, but he also has a bit of a reputation. He's good looking—it would be dumb for me to deny it. He has a dark complexion with wavy black hair and soft features for someone so hardened. He’s slim and average height, but all the girls love him, so it's not unusual to see him trashed at a Friday night frat party with a new chick hanging off him.

Samir's never out on Saturdays though, probably because he uses Sundays to do his homework. I don't know how the fuck he juggles it all.

I watch him for a few minutes, looking all studious. He's taking notes, scribbling quickly. His writing is probably impeccably neat. Everything about him is both impeccable and neat. His hair is always perfect, his skin is always perfect, his clothes are always perfect. He hands everything in on time. He probably gets perfect marks. He seems like the type.

His parents are lawyers along with his brother and a few of his relatives. They have their own firm. Samir is probably studying to become a lawyer as well, whether or not he wants to.

Families are weird. My own family is so chill that I can't even relate to people like Samir and Koda. My aunt and uncle let me and Corinne have a lot of freedom. I guess we’re lucky.

Finally, the class comes to an end. It's a relief because I'm bored out of my fucking skull. The exams in this class are going to be a fucking doozy because I can't seem to pay attention. Maybe Koda and I will be able to compare notes and fill in the blanks where one of us was asleep.

Speaking of Koda, he's still passed out at his desk. I put a hand on his shoulder and give him a light shake. It'll be embarrassing if people see him as they start to leave the room.