A Ranker’s Guide to the Good Life
Chapter 2

Part I - The Early Bird Goes Hungry

Approximately twenty years prior to Jio’s debut, structures referred to as “towers” appeared all over the world. They sank their foundations into the capital of each country and soared high into the sky like overgrown lightning rods. They were also impossible to analyze with any form of modern technology at that time.

“What is that thing?”

“Whatever it is, it looks terrifying...”

Just as the fear and confusion of people around the world began to get out of hand, the silent towers finally showed activity. But rather than make a single sound, messages began to appear in everyone’s peripheral vision.

[Babel Network world server now online.]

[Planet Earth Global Channel now open.]

[Welcome to the network, Planet Earth!]

[The first tickets to the Babel towers have been issued.]

The translucent message windows were similar to the notification screens seen in online games.

The key difference was that not a single person on the planet had opted to play such a game, yet the windows were appearing in everyone’s real-life vision instead of computer screens.

Not only did the mysterious towers introduce themselves to the world as “Babel,” they kindly informed humanity of the disaster destined to befall their planet if their instructions weren’t followed to the letter. Thus, there was no time for anyone to think or hesitate. Calamity had come to mankind without warning in the form of the aptly named “gate outbreak.”

The sky tore asunder and the earth split as dozens of blue holes appeared around the planet. The rift gates poured out literal monsters from Otherworld into the human world. Modern weapons were useless for defending against them, so people began to despair as they considered how absurd it would be for life on Earth to end due to monsters instead of the encroaching climate crisis.

The return of those who had first entered the towers after receiving the first round of the metaphorical “tickets” was exceptionally dramatic. As they walked out, they carried primitive weapons such as swords, spears, and bows. Some of them could even summon fire and lightning out of thin air. Those individuals were the first generation of hunters who many referred to as “The Awakened.”

Thus, the great era of hunters began.

* * *

“What’s the Wi-Fi password for this place?” Jio asked.

“It’s printed at the bottom of the receipt, miss.”

“Then... I’ll have an iced americano. The smallest size, please.”

This is a dystopia all right. Cafés are getting tougher and tougher on us freeloaders.

As she marveled at how far modern business practices had come, she quietly found an empty table. It had already been a month since she received the results of her latest college applications. Since she had perfectly mucked things up again, her mother had angrily placed a temporary suspension on her mobile data. Thus, the phone she was currently holding could only receive calls, which basically meant it was useless since without Wi-Fi, she was cut off from modern society.

Well, at least she didn’t send me to another one of those boarding schools...

Jio had been given an ultimatum to study on her own since—in her mother’s words—the return on her investment had been terrible. To her, boarding schools were literal hells on earth. She shuddered as she recalled the horrid time she had endured at one over the past year.

“Wow, when did they get a new model for this brand? Looks like Ganghui Yeo won the brand ambassador spot too,” another voice in the café stated.

“Well, I would’ve gotten a replacement too if I were them. Remember the last one, Siju Han? You know how the saying goes—people who take on the towers are much better than those who stay in the dungeons.”

“Right, but isn’t that obvious? Dungeons are for making money, while tower climbing is seen as a sacrifice for the future of humanity. The two don’t even compare. That’s why I think people who support the dissident camp are kind of... unpleasant.”

“Well, that’s easy enough for folks like you to say. It’s no simple feat to risk your life by entering a Babel tower. Besides, everyone gets conscripted when gates appear, so what’s the difference?”

“What’s with you today? You’re so worked up over this. Are you training to become a hunter or something?”

“What about you? You leave your tact at home, asshole? His brother’s a hunter, remember?”

While listening to the high schoolers chatter at another table, Jio wondered where they got all their energy from.

I have to give those kids credit for being able to make such a racket.

Cupping her chin, she stared at the poster on the wall. The hunter on it had a gorgeous smile.

Is she a newbie? Maybe she was on one of the tutorial trainee teams last year.

If that was the case, the college reject knew she would be seeing a lot more of that hunter in the future. And if the students she had overheard were correct and the model was a ranker set to climb the tower, there would be plenty more sponsorships coming her way.

It was indeed the era of the Awakened who people had dubbed “hunters” over time. The lowest level of a Babel tower that gave rise to the hunters was referred to as a “tutorial.” Tickets to that floor were doled out at random each year. They allowed complete newbies to participate in tutorials so they could transform into true hunters.

Once someone had awakened, they often fell into two camps. First, there was the orthodox camp for those who risked their lives by braving the dangers of the towers to climb to their top floors. Then there was the dissident camp for those who preferred to gain experience safely in the much easier dungeons. Regardless of camp, all types of hunters were conscripted by the government in the event of gate outbreaks, but they differed greatly in terms of everyday popularity.

Since the current state of the world was the result of the towers appearing, everyone believed that the Babel towers held the answer to humanity’s future. The real heroes were those who chose to climb the towers. Those who refused to leave the dungeons were seen as only after their own safety and well-being. Such prejudice was widespread in the public’s opinion and only intensified on a daily basis.

On top of that, the great astral beings usually watched the towers, not the dungeons. As amazing as it would be for someone to land a contract with a celestial during a tutorial, there was about a twenty percent chance of receiving one at the final gateway of every tower known as its celestial gate. Those who failed to be chosen had no choice but to press on in hopes that they’d get lucky one day.

Thus, in terms of likelihood, towers held infinitely more promise than the random dungeons that would emerge. As a result, it was mostly those in the orthodox camp who became so-called “rankers” since they were the ones who achieved the higher ranks within their respective nations and the world. In every sense, it was only natural that the public’s admiration would lean in their direction alone. And, of course, some dissidents would get chosen by an astral being from time to time, but again... the chances of that happening were relatively low.

Differences in philosophy aside, both camps pertained to the “normal route.” And although the likeliness of it happening was even more extremely rare, there were those who belonged to neither faction yet were chosen by a celestial without even receiving tower tickets.

“Ugh... I hate the thought of going to cram school. Can’t some celestial out there choose me next?”

“Who are you kidding? You have a better chance of winning the lottery.”

[Your celestial Fate Reader asks in a stern tone if you just heard that. He laments and says that he is probably one of the unluckiest celestials in existence.]

Oh, just be quiet.

《Jio Gyeon’s celestial Fate Reader uses his exclusive authorization to issue a ticket for entry into a Babel tower. Exclusive tickets issued arbitrarily cannot be given to anyone else.》

Your Jio Gyeon refuses and tells you to shut up.

[Fate Reader puts his hands on his waist while muttering that you are one cheeky avatar. He points you out to his neighbors and compares you to a hissing cat.]

“Goddamn it, why isn’t there a mute option for this thing?” she grumbled aloud.

She pounded on the translucent keyboard in her field of vision furiously. If she was caught talking to herself, people would start whispering that she must have a celestial. She needed to look busy, so she began browsing the hunter intranet.

[BREAKING NEWS] 42nd floor of United States Babel Tower finally cleared!

(+452)

- I heard from a friend that it was Timothy’s guild. There will be some detailed updates soon.

- The top rankers don’t even go to towers anymore, but it looks like the top person goes themselves in America *gulp*

- When will someone in Korea finally get beyond floor 40? There’s a reason people refer to our country as a living hell. The difficulties even reach up there...

- Where is Korea’s #1 anyway? What are they even up to? Are they holed up in some mountain like a hermit or something?

- No one knows. No one’s even seen them.

- Why do they have to be so elusive? -_- Does being #1 give them that right?

- Yeah, you could say that...

- How amazing is that person anyway?

She’s someone who failed to get into college twice already, you f*ckers... She’s also someone who skipped the tower tutorial entirely and didn’t even receive a ticket.

Jio’s future was as solid as could be. She had been chosen even before awakening and had beaten odds that were even slimmer than winning the lottery. In a sense, she was like one of those people who had been born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Only her spoon wasn’t made of silver but top-tier astral luck.

Although there were slight individual differences, such people usually received incredible amounts of affection from their respective celestial.

The most well-known case was the “Saintess” of France, Giselle Genouilly, who ranked twelfth in the world. She had just been an ordinary person before she was chosen, then instantly became an S-tier hunter. She essentially debuted at the top of the world rankings.

And although celestials were supposed to be anonymous and their identities impossible to figure out, it was an open secret that hers was actually a legendary French hero.

[Your celestial Fate Reader scoffs. He waves you off lazily and says that the French celestial is a joke. He would rather not waste his breath on that so-called “hero.”]

Hey, it’s not like I asked... Jio thought.

- Whoever it is, they are pretty remarkable. I mean, they’re the first S-tier hunter in Korea. There may be quite a few S-tier hunters here now, but it wasn’t like this back in the day. When that top hunter first appeared, the world rankings all shifted along with the ranker channel numbers. Everyone got pushed down one level.

- Boomer alert! LOL

- I don’t care if the oldies get out here and start talking about how it was “back in the day.” Does anyone have an eyewitness account about #1? Or know what it’s like to be in Channel 1?

- Nope. Everyone in that channel is practically god-tier. No one’s ever left it either. They probably have their own little private friend group...

Jio’s phone suddenly buzzed due to an endless string of messages. She had ignored all of them, so whoever it was decided to call her. Having already finished her small coffee, she put down her cup. The endless buzzing was starting to attract the attention of those at the next table, but then her phone abruptly fell silent.

Am I... in the clear?

[Your celestial clicks his tongue and says that was a rash thought.]

She finally flipped her buzzing phone over again as she was seized by a foreboding feeling.

[Mom’s son: Hey, closet superhero!]

[Mom’s son: Get home right now, or I’ll tell everyone in the Global Channel who you are.]

“You good for nothing, son of a...” she grumbled as she quickly packed up her things.

She was only two bus stops away from her house, but that didn’t matter. The image of her shoulder-length hair bobbing into the alleyway was visible as soon as she stepped out of the café. Before long, she was tugging on a back door that seemed to be in rare use and slipped inside.

“Where’ve you been?” her brother asked.

“What do you mean? I was in my room. I guess I was too caught up in my studies to hear you,” she said casually as she closed her room door behind her.

She even furrowed her brow to play up her innocence as she thought, Getting questioned like this really throws me off.

All the while, her brother Jirok Gyeon stood outside of her room and scoffed at her brazen attitude.

“I considered busting down your door, but decided to go easy on you since Mom might really shave my head this time.”

“Aww, did my itty-bitty brother get stressed out? C’mere. What did you need from your big sister?”

“Are you trying to be funny? Check the channel every now and then, would ya? I just came back from the tower after seeing the breaking news report. What do you think I need, Miss Gyeon?”

“Hmm, let’s see... How about some sisterly love?” she muttered under her breath.

It was only then that she realized it had been a while since she had last seen her younger brother. He was one of the most prominent members of the orthodox camp and a top-ranking hunter.

Jirok, however, burst out impatiently.

“Hey, quit trying to lie low like this! Come storm a tower for once!”

[Your celestial Fate Reader cheers and says your brother couldn’t have said it better.]

As fate would have it, not all those who had been chosen by a celestial first were born equal. The luckiest among them became S-tiers without any effort on their parts. Roughly ten years prior, Jio had debuted as Korea’s first S-tier hunter when she was still in elementary school. She had never once set foot in a tower or dungeon, yet she sat securely at the top of the ranker boards.

She was third in terms of global ranking, and #1 in Korea. Although she was known by the name “Sorcerer King Jo” online, she was currently living as an ordinary nineteen-year-old woman who had failed to get into college yet again. She even had to avoid her brother’s burning glares in real life.

Ugh... At this rate, he’s gonna burn a hole through my face.