“You goofball! I only snatched one chocolate outta ten” I yell at him cheesed off as he hustles to keep up with me.

“Yo! That was my chocolate,” he shoots back, all matter-of-fact, as we leap down the stairs.

“My bad. I spaced on what a jerk you are-”

“Huh?” he raises his eyebrows and almost trips over his own feet.

“Quit yapping and let’s jet” I sigh. We are in enemy territory now, aka ground floor. I duck behind a pillar, and he shuffles in behind me. I peek out and scope for any danger strutting around on their hind legs instead of hitting up class.

 After a hot minute of listening to books popping open, caws echoing and markers screeching on the whiteboard, I give the all-clear “It’s a green light, bro” I whisper, but he taps my shoulder and points ahead. I double-check and see a pint-sized lady in her thirties. She’s so tiny my radar didn’t even clock her as a threat! Ha!

“Eh? Don’t judge a being by the size,” he says and I poke him in the ribs as he snickers.

We sneak successfully in the ground without anyone noticing us and I spot my bag pasted flat on the grass far away.  

"Bro?" I say his name calmly, and he shifts his weight to his left foot, leaning in a little.

"Yeh?"

I pull his ear closer. "Go fetch it ‘least do that much."

"Me? That's your prob," he replies, putting his hands on his hips and smirking as he raises his eyebrows.

"Oh, come on," begging I slap my hands together. "I already climbed so many stairs. I'm tired, dude, and you threw it!" I moan.

"Nah uh. I ain’t moving," shamelessly he refuses.

"The heck? You threw it, you prick," groaning I crack my knuckles and throw my arms around my head.

"You’re yelling," he pouts. "And you even ate my chocolate," he adds in a little voice, turning his head.

Coming up with the biggest problem solver of all time I offer him "I’ll buy you chocolate milk," pulling out a big note from my pocket. Convinced in a split second, he spins on his heel and strides in a random direction.

"Oi, where you heading?" I shout, waiting for him to turn back.

"To get your bag," he replies without looking back at me.

"It ain’t there" How can he walk this fast when a moment ago he was struggling to keep up with my pace?

He turns and looks at me like a thrilled little puppy, his mouth opening and closing. I didn’t hear anything. I point to where the bag is and upon spotting it he hops a little. It’s around the corner and as soon as he is about to reach the location, spinning on the heel of my shoe I sneak behind a bush. Tiny thorns adorned lame green leaves and an overall tumped look. Although the bush that I have snuck behind is pretty ugly it’s doing the job considering how I can’t see anything. Likewise, I think no one can see me.

Peeking I spot the idiot’s head popping up and down as he strides on his own feet to step into the mess I planned for him. He is just about to pick up the bag, and it should happen now.

"Hey, brat!" roared the guy who roars as his morning routine. Seeing him rooted to the spot, petrified, deciding whether to choose fight or flight, I end up cackling. Fool, from that spot, you're rooted, anyone on the other ground can easily see you.

"Can't you hear me? Get over here," the teacher hollered again.

Poor dude looked around for help, grabbed my bag, and dragged his feet over to the sports teacher. Yeah, now he's gonna get his cocky butt handed to him! Should've known I was up to something. Like, why would I care enough about my bag to climb all those stairs? I can't help but crack up like a maniac.

Earlier, I peeked out the window and saw latecomers running laps in the field and figured the teacher must be chilling somewhere, or why else would they run so passionately? It was so obvious, but I guess not everyone's as sharp as me. Giggling, I picture his face. Must've wiped that smirk off.

Cold fingers land on my neck, and I yelp and turn. A plump, round face with a short, droopy nose stares back at me. The nostrils flare as she breathes, and slowly I look up. A pair of bug-like eyes bore into my soul.

"What the," I take a shaky breath and blink. "Apples and bananas. Who?"

The big, round woman doesn’t budge away from my face. Nauseated by the close-up sight of blackheads on her nose, I wriggle away a little. "Um, who are you?"

"Hey, I hope you're not ditching class kid," Her thin lips stretch into an ugly smile. "You're not, right?"

"Haha, no," I get up from the ground and dust off my uniform, and she stops kneeling too. Standing, I notice she's just as tall as me and twice as big. Jesus. What the heck came my way? Paint her green and she’s good at playing ‘Shrek’.

"Are you skipping class?" she asks again.

"Nope", I already said 'no,' you dork! I fear that she’s a teacher. "If you'll excuse me, I was asked to bring a student back to class."

"So is he skipping?" she asks again, raising her eyebrows, thrilled.

Her voice sounds like a house bee who won’t leave you alone. Yes. We both are skipping. Got it? You Shrek! Now, leave me alone. You’re ruining the drama! The words almost left my lips.

"He felt like throwing up, so he requested the teacher to get some fresh air," humbly I answer and relax my arched eyebrows.

"Oh!" She tries to squint her huge eyes out of suspicion but fails to do so. "I see."

Given the size of your eyes, you should see through the lie, weirdo.

"Why don’t both of us go to bring him?" she asks, smiling again. Oh, come on. Leave already. I told you none of us are skipping.

She is a teacher for sure, but I haven’t seen her before.

"Uhm, okay," slurred words left my mouth. 

With my chin dropped, I walk with her to the other ground. Doesn’t she have anything better to do on her schedule? What a flapdoodle. Here I go sliding into the pickle. He’s getting an earful for sure, but why can't I hear any yelling? Shrek keeps glancing at me every couple of steps. We turn the corner, and I take a sharp breath, hoping I don’t see my bag being ransacked and the poor guy being detained.

Eleven kids are running laps in the ground, about to drop dead, but the dude isn’t any of them. He is nowhere to be spotted. There's only the sports teacher sitting cross-legged on the concrete.

“Do you see him?” she asks me.

"Haha, looks like he isn’t here," I answer awkwardly, fiddling with my tie. What do I say now? If she keeps sticking her nose in, we're done for. Dropping my arms by my side, I spin around, about to go back, hoping to get rid of her. By now, a teacher is probably in the class, and if she accompanies me, considering how clingy she is, I am doomed... ah!

“Oh, I see someone,” she says aloud, pointing to the sports teacher.

Does her bug eyes not work? That’s the teacher! I look at her and don’t say anything.

“By his side,” she adds, and I ease the sharp breath I was about to take again, looking around at that gym rat of a teacher. He had put his heavy arm over a guy. He seems to be squeezing under the weight. A head covered with a black baseball cap pops out from under his arm. The kid wearing the baseball cap shakes his head and a bunch of brown hair appears on his nape. It’s him! It’s my bro but why is he laughing–actually what in the world is he doing?

“Oh, there he is,” I say gleefully. I am not alone anymore. Both of us will either get into hot water or out of it. Together.

Shrek and I approach them and gasp at what is going on. As a stranger, she would be shocked, but I found myself gawking just as wide-eyed. This is the next level, Leon! What the heck is this? Don’t tell me bro’s whisking gossip with him! With him out of all other people! How? How did things slide that smoothly for him?

The teacher is leaning his head closer to hear him better. Leon closes his mouth and stares at the teacher for a moment, and then together, they start laughing. 

Laughing.

They start laughing together.

 Betrayed and shocked to the core my legs are rendered useless so Bug volunteers and kneeling asks him “Hey kid, are you feeling better now?” 

He looks at her, shocked, and then smiles. “Oh, I am better than I ever was, miss,” he says in a soft voice, and then gets up and looks at the teacher as if it’s his long-lost bestie. “I am afraid, now that I am feeling better, I’ll have to go. See you teach!” he waves, picks up the bag, and starts walking. I can't believe these two grown-ups aren't suspicious as to why he brought a bag with him out of class if it was just that he was feeling a bit sick.

“That’s a nice colored bag,” Shrek comments. My bag’s black!

“Aw, don’t flatter me,” he smiles back at her.

Once he begins walking, I follow him like all mute, and She leaves me alone.

We enter the building, and I grumble finally, “That Shrek- bug?--won’t stop clinging to me! ”

"Shrek?" he snorts. "That woman accompanying you?" handing me my bag he asks.

"Of course her," I say. Remembering it I give him a side-eye. “What did you say to him to slide off the hook though?”

He snickers like a girl and covers his mouth with his big hand. “I gave him pointers as to why the English teacher likes him,” his eyes twinkling.

Flinging my bag at him I yell “You’re getting straight to the tenth level in hell. Dude? For real?”

He snorts. “He told me-” he stops and settles his hair, checking himself in the window’s reflection. “That he could tell that she liked him.”

Both of us ended up balling laughing hard in the empty bio lab.

“He said what? WhATT? and I thought you were delusional,” I manage to say out of peals of laughter.

“And bug it is” 

“Done bro” 

The label has been finalized.