“There you are,” Kristine says as Percy enters back into the lounge.

“I had to make them extra choco-tastic!” Father Creed cooly winks. With a face like this, you would have no idea he was having a nervous breakdown moments ago in that kitchen. “All mugs are winners!” Father Creed gestures to proudly show off the selection of mugs for Kristine to choose from. 

All three of them are drugged 😉

“...eh?” Kristine tilts her head. “Three?”

“One for me, one for you, and one for Holly!”

“...but I thought Holly’s mug was ‘to go.’ Won’t that spill in your truck?”

“In the truck? Why would it ‘go’ in there?”

“...to pick up Holly from Carol’s house?”

“Carol’s house? Carol is spending the holidays in the psych ward. Holly is in the basement!”

“...eh?”

*oooooooooooops* Father Creed sucks in his mouth, eyes going bloodshot as he realizes that serious slip of the tongue he just made. *trip* He loses his footing on the vintage polar bear skin rug, and his three best mugs, best tray, and best towels are off to the races! Spilling and sliding all over the floor!

Kristine springs into action. “Percy!” She comforts our silly little priest, who lies face-first on the floor. She helps him up a little and feels his sweaty forehead. “You’re burning up!”

Father Creed strategically plays into this to draw as much attention away from “the truth about Holly” and dramatically puts his arm across his face. “Oh! Woe is me! I have felt ill since last night, but…” *fake cough* *fake cough* “The treats…” *fake cough* *fake cough* “The children…” His eyes sparkle, and he turns away.

Kristine pinches Father Creed’s cheek and pouts. “You’re such a goober! I want you to sit down while I clean up this mess!” She walks him over back to his chair. “And after I’m done, I’m putting you to bed, and that’s that!”

“...but…Holly…” *fake cough* *fake cough* 

“We’ll worry about her later, you silly silly man!” Kristine wags her finger and is having none of this.

“Ok~🥺” 

Kristine goes over and gets to work on drying up the floor as best she can, swishing around water, shards of broken mugs, and- “Huh…why do I smell soap?” 

“To better clean the floor with~🥺” Father Creed has a bashful cunt face and flutters his eyelashes.

“Oh, shut up, silly! Stop joking and start resting!” Kristine wags her finger again.

“Ok~🥺” Father Creed resumes relaxation. Watching Kristine *swish* *swish* and clean up the floor…

…*swish* *swish*…

…clean up the floor…

…*swish* *swish*…

…clean…up…the…floor…

🥵🥵🥵 WHOA, MAMA!!! With an ASS and PPPUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSYYYYYYYYYYYYYY like THAT, it would be sinful to NOT have a look! 🥵🥵🥵

Father Creed is ssssssssssswwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttttttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg, which Kristine is oblivious to. It’s ok. It’s ok. All he has to do is not look at her GIANT ass and PUFFY pussy…

🥵🥵🥵 IT’S NOT WORKING!!! 🥵🥵🥵

Wait! Ah, by Jove, he can’t look at her rump-tastic rump if he closes his eyes (duh). So, our boy, Father Percy Creed, closes his eyes…

🥵🥵🥵 GASP!!! Even when his eyes are shut, the existence of Kristine’s ASS and PUSSY is so LOUD that it penetrates the confines of his own mind and defies current understanding of what “perception” truly means! 🥵🥵🥵

“Oh!” Father Creed’s heart stiffens, and so does something silly in his pants 😏 “Ohhhhhh!” He struggles to stand and pulls out his emergency rosary. “Give us not into temptation...” Father Creed clutches it tighter than the noose in the closet he found around his old roommate’s neck back in college. “...and deliver us from evil…”

“Ha-ha. Look at that patootie. Haaaaaaaaa…” Mickey Mouse™ interjects. “I haven’t seen puuuuuuuussssssssssssssssssssyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy this good since the 1920s…hhhaaaaaaaaa…”

*The emergency rosary incinerates instantaneously*

“Oh, Mickey…” Father Creed smiles at his whimsical pal. Then he does a double-take. 

Wait. Could it be? Honest and true? Could the one and only…

It is! It’s him! It’s really him! It’s the drooling bastard cultural icon, Mickey Mouse™️, in the flesh. 

“Ha-ha-HA-haaaaaa-HA!!! Can I get a plate or what?” *droooool* “Oh baby…daddy loves it fresh out of the oven…haaaaaaa…” *drooooooooooooooooool*

And it’s not just any drooling bastard cultural icon and staple of animation, Mickey Mouse™️, in the flesh. It’s the legally protected due to entering the public domain because of an expired copyright drooling bastard cultural icon, Mickey Mouse™️, in the flesh, as he appeared in Steamboat Willie. The exact date of that expired copyright being January 1st, 2024. It’s important that we specify that for our impressionable readers and greedy attorneys.

“Yummy, yummy PUSSY, ha-ha-HA! I’m sta-sta-starvinnnnn’!” Mickey Mouse™ chatters his slimy teeth. Hmm…with the way he speaks…maybe more than just his copyright “expired” 🧠 “Ha-ha-haaaaaaa, give me PUSSY or give me death! Haaaaa……” 

Yikes! Such vulgarity from a family-friendly™️ mascot!

📝We at the studio™ would like to remind you that we do not condone putting family-friendly cartoon characters in suggestive situations™! These suggestive situations™️ are wrong now and were wrong then™. Rather than remove this content, we want to acknowledge its harmful impact, learn from it, and spark conversation to create a more family-friendly™️ future together.📝

Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, that’s all for now, kiddos! As long as the author isn’t sacrificed/executed in a blood ritual by DIA (Disney Intelligence Agents™️) to appease pagan idols, accidentally drowns himself in a bathtub full of bleach, and shoots himself twice in the back of the head accidentally by accident, yes, an accident then there’ll be more adventures of Mickey Mouse™️ to come! 

Ooooooooooooooh boy!™️

🍿now would be a good time to grab a snack before turning the page📖