...
The kids lowered their heads. Did I ask something I shouldn't have?
"My mother had cancer, Taşkın. She was constantly going to the hospital. I couldn't upset her too. I would come home from school with bruises all over my body, and when my mother asked if I was okay, I would sincerely say, 'I'm fine, mom, the teacher gave us homework,' and then go to my room and cry my heart out. I thought about committing suicide many times, but I held back because if I died, what would happen to my mother? And my death would devastate her. So I always held back."
"Weeks were passing by. My mother's health was deteriorating rapidly. Additionally, the torment I endured at school was escalating. Since I didn't speak up, they were doing whatever they pleased to me. I prayed for classes to never end and for the recess bell not to ring, because I knew the torment would continue during recess."
"In the bathroom, they were stubbing out cigarettes on my body. They were trying to force me to drink water from the toilets. They were dragging me on the floor. Yet, despite everything, I endured it all for my mother."
...
Kerem was about to continue when he fell silent. It was as if no words were coming out of his mouth.
"Until that day."
"I left school and went straight to the hospital. I was going to my mother's room to look after her when I saw the doctor attending to her outside her room. As I was about to enter, he didn't let me in. Inside, nurses were covering my mother's face with a white sheet. I understood what had happened. Tears started streaming down my eyes."
"Then the doctor began to speak."
"Kerem, you already knew that your mother's condition wasn't improving. But if she had taken her medication, perhaps her life could have been prolonged."
"When the doctor said this, I lifted my head from the ground and looked at him, saying, 'But wasn't she already taking her medication?'"
"It turns out my mother was lying to me. She couldn't afford to buy her medication. She said she was taking them so that I wouldn't worry."
"My world crumbled. If she had told me, I would have found a way to get a job and buy those medications. But now, it was too late."
"After my mother passed away, my aunt took over our house and didn't want me. She somehow threw me out of that house. All that was left from my mother was one house. They took that away from me too."
"After my mother's death, I didn't go to school for a while. While trying to sleep on benches on the streets at night, I kept remembering what happened at school. One day, I had enough and decided to go to school. I had nothing left to lose. I started walking towards the school in the morning. Maybe I had been expelled due to absenteeism, but I didn't care about anything anymore. My reason for going to school was different now."
"I entered the classroom. The first lesson had ended, and recess had begun. As soon as I opened the door, those who used to bother me noticed me and started coming towards me with laughter. This time, I started walking towards them. As I walked, I grabbed one of the mechanical pencils I saw on the desks. I was filled with fear, but I was determined no matter what. I was even ready to die. My mother came to mind at that moment. I started crying again. Sobbing, I walked towards those bastards and stabbed the one in the front in his eye. Then wherever I could hit his neck or head. When he collapsed and started crying, I attacked the others. I lost control of myself. I was both crying and screaming inside the classroom. Then the teachers came and calmed me down."
"They took me to the principal's office. He asked why I did it, and I told him everything. He said I should have told the teachers. All the teachers knew what was happening to me, but they didn't care. I'm sure the principal knew too. He said I was expelled from school. Those who bothered me were seen as victims and didn't receive any punishment."
"I left school and started wandering the streets again. I had no purpose. While sitting on a bench at night, I cut my wrists with an old knife I found in the trash and waited to die. That's when Ahmet came to my rescue. He happened to pass by while I was cutting my wrists and saw me. He immediately wrapped my wrists with an old cloth he found. When I asked him why he saved me, he said everyone has the right to live. There's a long road ahead of you. Don't give up, he said. That was about a year ago. So, I've been living in this house for about a year now."
"No one became family to us, so we became family to each other."
"Taşkın, I just noticed your tattoo. It's beautiful. Striking and frankly, intimidating. I've never seen such a tattoo before. And at your age, how did you manage to get it?"
When Kerem said this, the others started looking at my hand attentively.
I put my hand behind my back and changed the subject to avoid further conversation.
"Ahmet, you said you would give me some clothes, right? Would you give them now?"
"Also, if you have spare shoes, that would be great. I only have one pair of shoes."
"You turned out to be quite costly."
They laughed a bit.
They were joking, but I didn't react. My mind was still on the events that had happened.
Ahmet was getting clothes for me from the closet at that moment.
"Here you go, Taşkın. These should fit you, most likely. Take the shoes too. They're all old but durable. They'll serve you for a long time."
I started taking off what I was wearing.
I didn't want to stay in bloody clothes any longer.
I took off my sweater and tank top, then the pants. At that moment, I saw them all looking at me with frightened eyes.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
Kerem spoke up.
"T-Taşkın, what did they do to you? Doesn't it hurt at all?"
I knew my body had many wounds, but I hadn't expected such an exaggerated reaction.
"I just have a few wounds. Who among you doesn't have any wounds on their body?"
This time, Ahmet started talking.
"T-this isn't normal, Taşkın. How can you even walk in this condition?"
Upon hearing this, I carefully examined my body. Yes, there were scars, but... Wait a minute. There was something abnormal...
"Is there a mirror in the bathroom?"
Ahmet nodded frantically without saying anything.
After learning there was a mirror, I went to the bathroom. They had placed a chair. Of course, they were all standing on the chair to look at themselves in the mirror. I climbed onto the chair and looked at myself.
In the mirror, the image of myself resembled a corpse. My whole body was covered in bruises and scars. My body had miraculously healed, but the marks remained, apparently. Of course, I couldn't tell them about what happened in the pit. Even if I did, they wouldn't believe me.
I hadn't seen myself for a long time. I examined my body a little.
My skin, devoid of even the slightest glimmer of life, was pale and pallid, as if it hadn't seen sunlight in years. Every line, every crease on my face was a silent witness to the hardships I had endured. There were prominent, deep dark circles under my eyes; they were the marks of sleepless nights and endless tortures. It was as if I wasn't human but a being resembling a human. My cheekbones were pronounced, my cheeks hollow, as if the flesh on my face had been drawn back. My lips were cracked and colorless, as if all life energy had been drained away.
I went back to them and put on the clothes they had given me. I also placed the shoes outside the door.
I knew they were expecting an explanation, but I had no intention of giving one. I was thinking more about what I would do in the future.
When they realized I wouldn't say anything, they began to prepare to sleep. Everything necessary was already in the room. Pillow, sheet, blanket. They spread them out on the floor.
Ahmet spoke up.
"As you can guess, we all sleep in the same room. I hope that's not a problem for you."
"No, it's not a problem at all."
They had arranged a place for me to sleep too. I went there and lay down.
They had set up the beds side by side with a little space in between.
I was on the far right. On my left were Ahmet, Cengiz, and Kerem.
As I prepared to sleep, Ahmet came to mind. Everyone had told their stories, but Ahmet hadn't.
I wanted to ask, but I hesitated. I couldn't ask someone to tell their story while I didn't tell mine, but I wanted to try my luck.
...
"Ahmet, what's your story?"
"Everyone has told their story, but you haven't. Of course, if you don't want to tell, I understand."
There was silence for a while. I began to think he wouldn't tell it.
Then he started speaking.
"They found me in a trash heap."
"I don't know who my mother or father is. I stayed in an orphanage for a while. Then a family adopted me. I was sad because I was going to leave my friends in the orphanage."
"The people who adopted me seemed like good people. But it turned out their good faces were just masks."
"They had adopted me to amuse themselves, it seemed. They cursed, beat, and forced me to work. I was eleven years old at the time."
"I couldn't take it anymore and secretly ran away from home. While wandering the streets, I found this abandoned house. The owner must have died a long time ago. Since there were no relatives, the house was left like that. No one bought it because of the area it was in."
"While living alone, I found Kerem. Then the two of us started hanging out. Then Cengiz came. You came last."
I had many more questions in my mind.
"But how did-
"Taşkın, it's too late. Let's sleep now; we'll talk a lot tomorrow anyway."
"Yes, we've allowed you to live here, but you'll have to contribute to the household as well. You can't just sit around doing nothing in this house."
I had already guessed that.
"Yes, I'll help as much as I can."
"You seem like a good person, Taşkın. Let's sleep now."
h̵̜̰̯̲̮̳͕̎̍̎a͇̪̣͒̄̃͂̕h̵̪̘̜̫ͦ̽à̶̖͓͕ͥͩ̊. Just seem like it.
...
We didn't talk anymore and fell asleep.
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