Dear First Love,

I heard that you and your girlfriend had another fight today and broke up. She slapped you on the face. I have a feeling that it has something to do with me. Your friends also ignored you and glared at you. You were alone today in the cafeteria. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. Because of me, your friendships were ruined. 

But you still sat next to me in the cafeteria today. Your just so nice to me that sometimes, I mistake it for love. But I know that you don't love me. This is all just a one-sided love. I could never even dream of having you.

You talked to me as if we were close friends. Do you see me as your friend? Are we friends? Do I deserve to be your friend? I have my doubts.

I apologized to you as well. Not just for yesterday, but for everything. I feel like I'm the root of all your problems. All the things you've been through because of me. I am just a nuisance. You told me to stop apologizing and that it wasn't my fault. But it is. It's all my fault that your girlfriend broke up with you. It's all my fault that your friends don't talk to you anymore. It's all my fault. I've ruined everything for you.

But I can't help but still be greedy. I have this hope - now that your girlfriend is no longer together with you, I want to be next to you instead. As a friend, a classmate, or even your girlfriend. But I'm just being selfish. I know I shouldn't feel that way, especially when you seem so sad about your ex-girlfriend.

Sincerely,
H.