Dear First Love,

I tried to set you and Victoria up again. At lunch, I saw you sitting alone and I remembered that it was my fault that you were alone now. So I asked if Victoria would eat lunch with me. She said yes. I sat down opposite to you on the same table, and Victoria seemed hesitant in a way. I thought she'd be happy.

She still sat down though. There was no other seat for her to sit in besides the one next to you, so she did. You didn't look at her though. You just stared straight at me. We ate in silence. I tried to start conversations between you and Victoria, but both of you ended the conversation quickly. Victoria looked like she didn't want to talk to you. I'm sorry. I failed again. I made things awkward.

After school, you stopped me. You asked me why I was avoiding you. I can't tell you why. I couldn't even look you in the eyes. You sighed and just asked why I was trying to set you and Victoria up. So you noticed? I told you the truth - you loved Victoria, and Victoria still loved you. It was my fault that you guys broke up, so I was trying to get you two back together.

You looked at me dead in the eyes then and said that I was the one you loved. Not Victoria. I looked in your eyes then. You weren't joking. Your eyes were filled with sincerity. But I'm a coward. I didn't know how to reply. I loved you too - I wanted to say that - but how? If we both liked each other, we would become boyfriend and girlfriend. Even though that made me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside, I know that would make people hate you more. I have caused you enough loneliness and pain already.

I'm sorry.

Sincerely,
H.