I looked around again. Maybe there was some clever new technology that hid the crew in a big radius? A reverse greenscreen? 

Did I go too far off the mark?

Maybe my vibes were so strong they all died.

Would that really be such a loss?

But on a serious note, what the actual fuck had just happened?

I pushed my body off the tree and heard something clunking around in my armor. 

Wait. Clunking? Armor?

I looked down at myself and saw shining silver with gold details. Hard breastplate that covered my whole torso. No frills, no skimp, no skin, no painted foam. 

Actual cool armor. 

I tried to reach around to grab whatever was banging around inside, but couldn’t bend the ways I needed to.

Welp. There was a nice wide hole at the top for my head.

Without further thought, I got ready for a handstand up against the tree and shook a bit this way and that, to maneuver the clunking object out. I could feel it moving closer, closer, and there it went, onto the grass.

Once I got back on my feet I saw it was a book.

More specifically, it was Dawn or Knightfall, which reminded me that this scene seemed familiar.

Tiara, the main lead of the book, fought some guys in a forest, but the thing that I remembered best was the description of the armor...

…which matched the thing I was wearing right now.

Okay. Okay.

Don't panic.

So... some things seemed a bit like the book? No big deal.

I'd watched a ton of movies with plots like this before.

I just had to breathe and stay calm. It always works out in the end for those people, right?

Chances were I hit my head too hard and this would all be over soon, anyway. I'd wake up with a bump and a bruise and move on with my life.

A clank rose through the otherwise silent forest as one of the men in dark armor fidgeted.

Shit. If this wasn't a fever dream, I had to get out of here before the stunt people—or whatever they were—woke back up.

With the book in hand, I jogged off into the trees, looking for anything to clue me into what the hell had happened.

What I did find was something magical.

I couldn’t believe my eyes and nearly fainted from the pure ecstasy.

It was the most extraordinary sight I had ever seen.

Hair white as snow, eyes blue as ice, he stood tall and strong with rippling muscles that looked like they could carry me anywhere. What a beautiful, mysterious beast. I so desperately wanted to reach out and touch his soft, velvety muzzle.

My next words came out my mouth beyond my control.

“My Prince!” I yelled, practically with tears streaming down my eyes.

I ran towards the glorious, majestic creature as fast as my armored feet could carry me and threw my arms around his long, hairy neck. 

I couldn’t believe it. 

A. Horse! Not an elephant, a fucking HORSE! 

For the love of Matty, I loved horses. 

The horse leaned into my hug like we’d been best friends all of our lives.

“Prince. That’s your name right?” I asked, remembering I had seen this description and that name in the book.

The horse actually nodded with a snort, as if answering me. That was enough proof for me.

Which meant... I was... literally... in the book.

…What? No, that couldn't actually be.

I scratched my head, trying to make sense of it.

Now, that was odd. I could feel my scratching through my hair—my hair that was supposed to be a wig. In a panic, I tried yanking at it, but it hurt like hell, and no tangled mess of blue loosened, other than a few strands.

I wasn’t wearing a wig.

Well, shit.

I tore through the pages of the book until I found exactly the scene I was supposed to be in.

“Okay, Tiara kills the dudes in the forrest…" Well, I knocked them out. Close enough. "Then she finds her horse, and she leaves the woods to look towards… ‘A big castle you could see from even the furthest outreaches of town.’”

Right. In these situations, characters just needed to follow the plan.

The book was the plan.

If nothing else, I had a heading and a horse. That was a start to figuring all this out.

I tucked the book in the shoulder of my armor and let Prince carry me out of the woods where, lo and behold, the hazy, distant shadow of a castle lurked on the horizon. 

We took it slow as we progressed towards the town. How long did it take? An hour? Two? I didn’t know, didn’t care, and didn’t mind. There was something so enjoyable about a long ride on horseback through open fields.

Fresh air. Cool breeze. Nowhere in Los Angeles looked like this. It was the greatest pleasure to let Prince lead and follow his movements as we found a nice rhythm and, to be honest, I was kind of okay being stuck here if this was how I got to live my life.

When we reached the town, things didn’t make any more sense. Kids were playing unsafely on the road with sticks and big rings, it smelled like sweat, rotten food, and horse manure, and every person in the street was dressed like it was a Renaissance fair.

At least the houses were nice. They did look a lot like the little bit of Denmark I had seen, with long rows of small houses in different colors, but they were somehow more vibrant, almost to an unnatural degree you could only get in photographs. Vines of all types of different flowers twisted their way up the fronts making for a very nice fairytale feel.

Which was possibly what it was.

And I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

The ride was a nice breather and distraction, but I did have to address the elephant in the room—or rather, lack thereof.

Somehow, I was in the book the movie was based on. The horse, Prince, was a major clue, but now that I saw the actual town up close, there was no doubt in my mind.

“Prince, I don’t think we are in Denmark, anymore.”

The horse snorted his nose as if telling me, “No shit, Sherlock.” 

“Alright. I can handle this. I’ve seen The Wizard of Oz. I just get to the end, follow the book’s plot, and everything will be fine.”

Prince shook his head, like horses do, and clomped on. He took me up the tall steps of the castle, right to the front entrance which consisted of unrealistically ginormous double doors with two guards for security.

Into the castle I go, I guess. 

I dismounted Prince and approached. One of the guards took Prince’s reins and led him off to what I could only assume would be a stable.

Bye Prince. I hope I get to see you later. 

No big deal. I had the armor. I had the horse. I had the hair. All indicators pointed towards me being the main character, Tiara.

“Welcome back, Sir Krystal. I trust the mission went well?” A guard near the castle gate greeted me, crushing any semblance of logic I had just gathered.

What.

I’m sorry. Krystal, did he say?

No. No, no. 

I was Tiara.

The main character.

The badass chick with awesome armor and a majestic horse.

Not some floozy in a Halloween costume.

This was the book.

There was no fucking Krystal here.

Before I had the chance to answer, I had been ushered inside.

The castle was a spectacle all on its own with colors my eyes didn’t even know could exist in art and on furniture. The walls were painted a deep burgundy which matched the shining, walnut floor. It wasn’t like Cinderella's castle at all.

This was darker, more characteristic.

I would have never thought the colors they used would have gone well together, and yet they did. Then again, I wasn’t an artistic person, just a strong one.

There were two twisting staircases that led up and up and up to Matty knows where, and a long hallway with a tall ceiling painted with gold geometric designs.

If I’d had something to say to the guard, it was lost when I stopped to marvel at it all.

But they didn’t allow me much time to soak it all in before they brought me to the end of the hall and into a room of gold and dark scarlet, with a throne sitting upon a platform.

Before the throne stood a man in a big, shimmering crown.

I would guess he was the king Tiara needed to report back to, but apparently, I was Krystal and couldn’t be sure of anything.

“Sir Krystal, I see that you’ve returned in a standing manner—”

Shit, should I have been kneeling? This had to be the King, right? Can I check the book?

“—and I’m very grateful for that”

Oh, I guess I’m good then.

“Sir Krystal, I imagine you completed the task according to plan?”

Okay, act like Tiara, or Krystal, or whatever. Can’t give myself away before I figure all this out.

I got this.

“Er—yeah. Did… that task… thing that you asked… which I totally know what that is. Yup. Uh-huh. Nailed it.”

Welp. I really should read the book instead of just skimming it

This is why I was the stunt person, not the main actor. If anything, the mane character might as well have been Prince.

“Sir Krystal, as you know, you were able to stop those knights hired by our biggest enemy, Ishweeds, before they got to town and infiltrated our security in an attempt to overthrow me.” 

I froze, wide-eyed for longer than seemed appropriate. At least that caught me up real quick. I didn’t think the king’s dialogue was that bad in the book.

“Well. Thank you for all that exposition, Your Majesty,” I said with a slight bow.

The King tilted his head and squinted his eyes. “Sir Krystal, excuse me if I misspeak, but you seem just a tiny bit different from your usual demeanor —”

Oh shit, he was on to me. I had fucked this up already.

“—but there is no way anybody could mistake that blue hair of yours.”

…Safe?

“Sir Krystal, I apologize profoundly for this after you just got back, but I have a new quest for you.” 

Yeah. That seemed like the correct pacing. Can’t stop for a breather. That wouldn’t keep the readers interested.

“What is this task you have for me?” I said with absolutely no confidence before a slight panic and adding, “Your majesty.”

“Sir Krystal, I will have you join up with an elite force of knights, hand-picked by yours truly, and have you go collect a magical artifact for me. If you do not, it will end up in the wrong hands and be the end of this world.”

“Oh. Is that all?” Shit did I say that out loud.

“Sir Krystal, indeed.”

Sir Krystal. Sir Krystal. Sir Krystal.

Krystal.

Krystal.

Krystal.

Where the fuck was Tiara?

“My name isn’t Krystal!” I yelled so loud it echoed off the painted ceilings and bare walls.

I could practically hear crickets chirping as everyone waited for an explanation for my outburst.

“I, uh… I much prefer to go by Krys these days…”

The King nodded like he understood. “But of course, Sir Krystal.”

All right. I was done with this place.

But then again… for something to cause ‘the end of this world’ didn’t sound like a good thing while I was here. And I needed to get to the end of this to get out of here alive.

I sighed and bowed my head once more. “I will do as you request, your majesty.”

“I thank you, Sir Krys—”

Here we go. Off on some big adventure to save this world.

“—tal”

FUCK.