“What is the name of this cake?”

“Better than sex…that’s what the girl named it. Not me, Love.”

Lorcan just looked at me.

“Shameless.”

“Sorry, I can’t help it.” I gave him a wink, and I took a bite from the cake, then Lorcan followed.

It was very sweet, which fitted my tastebuds again, but it was definitely not better than sex. I wonder if that woman actually ever had sex. I thought to myself before saying it out loud.

“It’s definitely not better than sex right, the woman who made this recipe never had sex before, has she?” I asked Lorcan as he finished swallowing. He almost choked.

“You okay, Love?”

“Pushing it, Veda dear.”

I raised my hands and looked at him like I was hurt.

“It’s not my fault you wanted dessert. I wanted to have fun.”

“Anyway, hurry, and finish up so we can get into the hot tub before it gets too late.”

I stood up to go change while Lorcan went to start up the hot tub and find some swimsuits. I chose a black one for Lorcan, then looked in my section. All I found were women’s swimsuits or girly swimsuits. My selection disappointed me. I peeked my head out to Lorcan in the bedroom, taking his shirt off.

“Hey! Can I borrow one of your swimsuits?”

“What’s wrong with yours?”

“They gave me women’s swimsuits and not men’s.”

“You’re not okay with those?”

“Don’t get me wrong, they’re really pretty, but I still wear men’s clothing, too. I’m just not bound by gender like everyone else. I don’t always feel feminine or masculine. I just want to wear anything and everything.”

I said as I came out of the closet. I handed Lorcan his swimsuit and sat down on the bed to take off my shoes. As I did, Lorcan took off his shirt. I could see the scar I was curious about. It went from the left side of his ear, across his neck, and chest, then down to the right side of his hips, almost like he got slashed in half. It was a big scar, but he had small scars and scrapes all over his chest. To the point, some of his skin didn’t heal nicely, plus he was in good shape. It was nice to look at. I could guess why he was in good shape. One because of the person he held captive or to release anger, but it could be both.

I was enjoying the free show before he interrupted my daydreaming.

“You looked enough, Veda Venom?”

“No, this will probably be the only time I get to see you like this.”

“I sleep without a shirt on.”

“You take it off after I go to sleep, and you wake up earlier than me,” I said, raising my eyebrows at him.

“I thought you were a patient boy?”

“I am, just not when it comes to you.”

He rolled his eyes at me. I rolled mine back at him. With a tsk, I stood up and reached for the zipper that was on my back. Pulled it down as I did, I heard a whistle from behind me. I held the dress close to my chest and looked at Lorcan. He had a charming grin on his lips. I sent him a wink before dropping the dress, showing off my body. He quickly looked away.

“What’s wrong? Love, are you shy?” He didn’t answer. I finished putting on the swimsuit. We then walked out to the hot tub. Lorcan easily slid into the hot tub while I took my time. I put one foot in at a time, making sure I wouldn’t slip. I felt Lorcan’s eyes on me either to make sure I didn’t fall or he was looking at my legs full of scars, which I saw him do a couple of times while wearing the dress.

“Wow, this hot.”

“Want me to turn it down a bit?”

“I will certainly appreciate it,” I said as I completely immersed myself in the water.

Lorcan brought the temp down to a comfortable level so I could actually enjoy it. It was very relaxing to the point we just sat in silence for a couple of minutes.

“If only these relaxing days can continue,” I said with a sigh.

“It shouldn’t be all bad tomorrow, plus you won’t be alone like the other shows like this.”

“Very true, the other survival shows are nothing like this. But I don’t know which one is scarier.”

“You scared?”

“No, I just don’t like the unexpected.”

“Me too.”

After a minute it went back quiet. I wanted to ask if he agreed to my plan, but I was a little bit worried for the first time. I was in an unknown place, with Lorcan being my only support, but not by my choice. And I didn’t need this relationship to go sour, so I kept my mouth shut. Plus, we hardly know each other even though we lived together for a week. I knew a few things he liked, and secretly the other types of things. Like he liked my legs, or when I winked at him, but I learned that after many trials and failures. He knew more about me than I knew about him, mostly because he had trained himself to be like that.

I decided to stop thinking about our relationship, knowing I shouldn’t mentally exhaust myself before an unprecedented day. As I finally relaxed even more into the hot tub the annoying man I was thinking about decided to speak up.

“I agree.” That short sentence interrupted my calm mind.

“What?”

“I agree.”

“You agree to what?”

“I agree to be in a relationship with you.” I eyed him up, and down which he let happen.

“You waited this long to finally tell me.”

“We were busy today, and it slipped my mind.”

“Huh? This was supposed to be my reward, and it slipped your mind?”

“Sorry.”

“I think I deserve another reward for you forgetting.”

“What else could you want?”

He asked, lazily as he leaned back against the hot tub wall.

“Well a hug,” I said with a smile on my face. I held out my arms inviting him into my embrace.

He looked at me with his eyebrows raised. I enjoyed keeping him on his toes. It was amusing. I shook my arms, showing I was waiting for him. I saw him roll his eyes, but he got up and moved towards me.

I kept my face completely straight with a smile on my lips. While on the inside I was screaming happily I couldn’t wait.

Lorcan was way taller than me. I just came to the bottom of his chest, but I was pretty tall in my family. So it felt weird having to look up at someone. He loomed over me and decided to trap me in his arms. He put both of his hands by my waist, locking me in place while he stood right in front of me. I couldn’t even escape from jumping out behind me.

It was a stare-down while I still held out my arms. He bent down, getting close to my face with a smirk on his face.

“No, hug then Lorcan?”

“What’s the real purpose of this hug Veda Venom?”

“What, I haven’t had a hug in a long time. I wonder what it feels like can’t you indulge me this once?” I then bat my eyes, acting pretty.

“No.”

“You’re really mean you know. If we’re gonna act like a match made in heaven, we should get used to each other touch. Plus to seal the deal.” I explained 

“Match made in hell is more like it, dear.”

I wiped the smile off my face and just stared at him.

“Fine then move, Lorcan.”

I waited for him to move since he didn’t want to touch me. I closed my eyes and blocked him out. I then sunk deeper into the hot tub, getting mad. I can probably guess what he is thinking. I’m an abuse victim. He must think that touching me might trigger me. He was putting me into a box of how a textbook victim might act. I’m different, very different. I killed everyone before they could even think about assaulting me. I was locked up, and chained to a wall behind a glass wall where my father brought all go his friends over. They would look at me, imagining it was me while they had fun with his other victims, then it upgraded to touching me, and then they went bye-bye from this world.

This was the first time I chose to engage with someone. It was on my terms. I decided to advance this relationship in my way. I was healing in my own way, probably. I like laughing with him and smiling genuinely. This was the first balanced relationship I ever had.

I still felt Lorcan looming over me, but I still ignored his presence.

“Move.”

“No.”

“Move now,” I said as I clenched my teeth together.

“No.”

“Look here, I might be a victim, but I’m not your client. You don’t know my trauma. So when I asked you to hug me, I was asking to be touched on my terms. I was asking for a bit of humanity.”

I then pushed him away, now upset and pissed off. I got out of the hot tub and stomped off to the bathroom. I stripped off the bathing suit, throwing it into the hamper next to the sink. I looked in the mirror and saw my younger self that just sent me over the edge. I took my fist and started punching the hard concrete wall by the mirror. I beat the wall until my knuckles were busted up, and bleeding, I could hardly move them when I was finished. I looked at the blood-covered wall as I caught my breath. I took some tissue wet it then cleaned the wall as good as I could. Afterward, I took a shower,  ignoring the stinging pain in my hands, I grabbed a random set of pjs and then went to bed in the span of twenty minutes.