The glaringly bright yellow rays of sunlight peeking through the windows hurt his eyes. After tossing and turning for hours, he had finally succumbed to sleep in the depths of the night. Rolling over, Aidric made a determined effort to banish the relentless thoughts that had been plaguing him every waking moment.

‘Your sister died for you. Why are you just lying there, moping?’

‘You’re wasting the precious time she gave you. Do something with your life.’

‘It should have been you.’

Snuggled in bed, Aidric pulled the blankets back up under his chin, his eyes tracing the patterns of the worn floorboards until they finally lifted to rest upon the door. The idea of venturing out into the world, only to make a mistake, filled him with a deep sense of dread, as if it would tarnish the precious gift given to him by his sister. So, instead, he would just lay here, the soft mattress beneath him providing a small comfort in his confined prison cell. 

‘Yeah, go ahead and pretend like this is your prison. You’re the one holding the keys, idiot.’

‘You think I don’t know that?’ Aidric bit back at the tormenting words that mirrored his own voice. Aidric fully understood that he was the sole factor preventing himself from leaving the room. The act of locking himself there was undeniably worse than having no choice. The door creaked open, and a soft, melodic voice seeped into the room through the small opening.

“Ady?” Ada’s head peaked around the edge of the door. Her attempts to hide her concern were in vain, as dark circles stood out under her eyes. “Can I come in?” Aidric timidly nodded his head, and the aroma of fried eggs and potatoes filled the room as she entered with a plate in hand. Although his stomach rumbled from the smell of the meal, he had no desire to eat. 

“I know you have to be hungry at this point, sweetheart, but I won’t force you. How’re you holding up?” Ada placed the plate on his dresser, then took a seat on the bed. As Aidric sat up, he pulled the blanket down to his waist, feeling the cool air against his exposed upper body.

“I don’t know. Something feels off. I’ve got no desire or motivation to do anything.” With a raised hand, Ada caressed his hair, running her fingers through the wavy curls.

“It happens, Ady. You went through something. Sometimes it takes time to sort out your thoughts and emotions. Just make sure it doesn’t consume your day. Every second is precious.” Aidric's fingers clenched the sheets tightly as he glanced out the window at the fertile fields of carrots, beets, potatoes, and cucumbers where his father toiled away.

‘I know they’re precious, that’s the problem.’

“What if I mess up? I’d just be wasting it, anyway.” Their conversation came to a halt for a moment, and he felt the comforting warmth of her hand wrapping around his. 

“Making mistakes is natural. As long as you learn something from them and grow, nothing is wasted.” Diverting his gaze from the fields, Aidric locked eyes with his mother. “The only mistakes you’re going to make in life that haunt you are the risks you didn’t take.”

For the first time that day, he felt something. What stirred in his chest wasn't happiness, but a flicker of hope. Aidric gently squeezed her hand and shut his eyes. The warmth in his torso was fleeting, swiftly replaced by a momentary stab of pain in his chest, as the pitter-patter of raindrops and Neal's excited hollers filled the air. Aidric's lips curved into a grin, while his mother's face lit up. 

“No casting on an empty stomach.” Ada grabbed the plate from the dresser, and gently set the food down on his lap, and kissed his forehead. “Let me know when you’re done.” Right before shutting the door, she gave one last bit of advice. “Take your time. Feel your feelings. Just don’t let them absorb you.” With that, she was gone. 

Feel his emotions, huh? Aidric used the fork to skewer one of the golden potatoes. Feeling anything other than pure joy while eating eggs and potatoes fried in butter with minced garlic proved challenging. He appreciated what Ada said, but he still couldn't shake off the heavy weight of his dour mood. ‘Take your time.’ Aidric cracked a smile and got up from the bed. 

Baby steps. He opened the door and descended the stairs, feeling the coolness of the wooden steps beneath his feet, and set the dishes in the washbasin.

“Feeling better?” Ada's sudden call from the pantry startled Aidric so much that he felt like he was going to jump out of his own skin. A mischievous chuckle escaped her lips as she poked her head around the corner. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Aidric took a deep breath to ease his racing heart.

“I’m feeling better, but I don’t think I’m ready just yet.” His gaze fell on the main entrance to their home. “I’m gonna try again tomorrow.” Ada, with a wise nod of her head, retreated into the pantry and vanished from sight around the corner.

“That’s all we can do. Love you, honey.” 

“Love you too, Mom.” With that, Aidric made his way back up to his room and picked up a well-worn book, its pages yellowed with age. This was the one he had asked Dr. Tillmane for in particular. What Jacque said about the world had differed greatly from what everything he’d read had said. ‘A History of Camden’ and it was… exactly the same as the others. 

Camden and Arc, two formerly independent countries, teamed up to research the Marked following Arc's period of prosperity, but the Marked fought back and tried to conceal themselves. The Alliance had no success in locating them until the First Ascended eliminated the First and Second Marked, taking an empty throne of the pantheon. Camden and Arc, victorious and empowered, merged to create a kingdom that extended into Londaria in the southern plains and Ralainio on the western coast. Together, they formed the Kingdom of Arc, governed by the Magus Collective, and declared Arcane as the common tongue for trade and law. 

Just the same old stories as the others. Surely, they must have had a more extensive history than what this brief thirty-page pamphlet presented. Cultures, traditions, religions before the unification, something. Still, every document accessible to the citizens was just a repetition of the same information. Aidric tossed the book onto the floor, the sound of the thud echoing through the room, and spent the rest of the day lost in his own thoughts.

On the next day, they packed small bags to carry a change of clothes on their walk to Inrora for the festival. Nothing crazy, just the set of nice clothes Ira got it for him the last time he was at the capital. The only river on the way there required a thirty-second walk out of town, and nonresidents in the capital had no access to community baths, eliminating the need for soap. The bag looked pretty pitiful, holding one spare set of nice clothes, but that was all he had. With his bag packed, Aidric relaxed for the remainder of the day, assisting his mother in the forge, before he went to bed for the night. 

“Everybody ready?” Neal shouted to the group of villagers gathered around him in the center of the village. Although he received nods and a handful of excited replies, the majority of people had stayed back and prioritize the care of the crops. Only eight of them were headed to the city. Aidric, for one, was not ready. He was exhausted. 

“Alright! For those of you coming to Inrora, I’ll say it one last time. Stay on the road, don’t wander, and if someone needs a break, say so and we’ll all stop.” His voice took on a serious tone as he gestured towards the woods, his finger cutting through the sunny, tilled earth and the untamed fields of grass before it. “When we reach the forest in between us and the capital, we will not stop until we’re through. Collective Mages will be patrolling the area around the capital, but they can’t be everywhere at once. If there are bandits on the road, that is most likely where they’ll wait, so keep your eyes peeled.” His chipper tone returned when he turned back around.

“For those of you staying, Aidric and Lauren had graciously woken up early this morning and watered the fields, so you guys get a day off before picking up the rest of the plots in our absence.” There was a cacophony of cheers from the rest of the villagers. Aidric wished he could say they had volunteered for their early morning work, but they had been voluntold. They had been awake since four in the morning, and despite it only being nine, Aidric was eager to collapse into the dirt and sleep forever. Lauren appeared to have fared about as well as he had.

Aidric adjusted the thin rope strap of the bag on his shoulder, the rough texture digging into his skin, and gazed around at the assembled group. The ones who stayed behind were by and large the eldest villagers, or those who resided on the outskirts and rarely ventured into town, except to deliver goods for Ira to trade. For whatever reason, the group of people he found himself surrounded by was the same familiar bunch. Priscilla and Claire flanked Lauren, while Ira stood to their left and Jacque to their right. Behind Aidric, Ada and Neal stood huddled together. Once the cheers died down, Neal continued with his departure speech.

“If anyone runs into any problems while we’re gone, post it on the signboard here in the center and I’ll handle it as soon as we get back.” The group responded with nods of agreement as a few people fidgeted. Aidric could already tell what their worries had been about. Neal had mentioned bandits, and despite their dwindling presence, a lingering fear remained that they could have ambushed their journey to the capital or targeted the village if they saw it as defenseless.

“Just keep your eyes up if you’re worried about any unwelcome guests. A lot of you are staying behind, so I really wouldn’t worry about it. Strength in numbers, and whatnot.” Real inspiring stuff there, Neal. The sound of crickets filled the void left by Neal's lack of training in motivational speaking. He cleared his throat and continued. “Alright, well, we’re off! Stay safe, keep hydrated, and we’ll see you all in three days!”

The group let out another round of cheers, although not as enthusiastic as when they were told they could take a day off, but not every cheer can be a winner. With goodbyes being tossed and the lukewarm wind rustling their hair, the group set off on their journey to Inrora. If the throbbing in Aidric’s chest hadn’t bordered on agonizing, he would have been ecstatic to leave the village for the first time.