We pull into the driveway and my sister gets out of the car with her head down. I try to exit the car as well but my father grabs my arm and prevents me from leaving the car.
“ Not you, I need to talk to you.” He says. “ Go to your room, young lady.” My father shouts to my sister, who is already halfway up the driveway.
“ What do you think I’m doing?!” She yells back before storming into the house.
My father just rolls his eyes in response and starts the car again.
“ Alright, now let’s talk about you.” He says to me, starting the car back up. He seems a little less ticked off than before, so maybe I’m not in trouble.
“ Okay, about what?” I ask him.
“ Well, to start, you’re not grounded actually.”
Thank god.
“ It’s not like you have friends or anyone to go out with anyways, so I feel that would just be an insult to injury.”
“ Yeah, okay, so that’s mean, don’t you think?” I ask him offendedly.
“ You are, however, still moving schools with Gabriella.” He says, completely ignoring my question. “ You should be happy about this, this will be a new start for you.” He continues. “ I know you don’t have the best… “Look” at your school, so maybe starting anew would be good.”
“ What do you mean “start anew”?” I ask him, concerned by what he means by that.
“ I don’t know River, you can start working a little harder to fit in a bit better? I mean this with love, I swear, but you haven’t exactly reached the bar intended for you. Losing fights every week to some math geeks isn’t exactly the most appealing aspect to anybody.”
“ He was a football player.”
“ Whatever, what I am saying is you gotta get some meat on those bones, build up some muscles so you don’t get pushed around so easily. I ain’t gonna raise no sissy any longer, ya hear?”
“ Yeah, I hear you.” I say, trying to move on from the conversation already.
“ It’s bad enough you have to get your sister to defend you. Sisters shouldn’t need to defend their brothers, that’s pathetic.”
Ah, Jeez. Here we go.
“ You know, in turn, you’re making her look bad. Do you think any man would want her as a wife if they see her doing all this fighting and rebellious junk?”
Yeah, that’s where I thought he was gonna go. He has always thought that the only place in the world for women was to be a man's wife. He’s always been like this but I think he’s been more set on this view because some female suffragettes who used to work at the company my family owned decided to quit over not being paid enough. I told him that was a fair point on their part and he told me I would be a lousy boss. However, he usually shuts up when mom says something about it.
He sighs deeply.
“ It’s still not her fault completely. You also need to be better than you are. Especially when it comes to physical stuff. Maybe you could get some meat on those bones if you weren’t so picky about your food and ate some meat every once in a while. It’s bad enough we have to get super specific brands of stuff for you to eat, but now your doctor thinks you have some ‘anorexia’ disorder thing.” he says in an annoyed tone.
Why is that brought up every time I do something not to his standards?
“ I think that’s a sign something is wrong, River. They only diagnose that to women, and you're not a woman.” He says before pausing. “But don’t go around thinking you are one either.”
Saying I act like a woman and have “womanly” traits and then saying I shouldn’t think I am a woman is kind of hypocritical, but I think his perception of women in general is messed up anyways, so.
“ I hear you.” I say again, trying to move on. I didn’t really want to be reminded of things that are wrong with me. I just lean my head against the window and wait to arrive wherever my father decides to take us. Though I don’t think we’re actually going anywhere, I think he just wanted to scold me privately.
My father sighs and looks at me sympathetically. “ I just- I don’t want you getting pushed around anymore, River. That’s all.” He says, trying to sound genuine, “I know you can be better, and I just want you to be. I want you to be prepared to take over the company when I get older and the way you are now isn’t saying that you’re prepared at all.”
I take my head off the window and sit up straight again while he talks.
“ You want to take over the company one day, don’t you River?”
“ Yes!” I say, anxiously. I don’t really know what is so appealing about owning a spice company but, I do know the appeal of earning a ton of money.
“ That’s what I thought.” My father replies, nodding his head in approval. " Now, how about this, the first person who tries to cause trouble with you when you get to your new school, you give 'em hell."
" I'm not going to fight anyone, Dad." I say, rolling my eyes. I know I'd get my ass handed to me (again) if I tried.
" I'm not saying that, I'm just saying, don't just let people push you around so easily." my dad snaps. " I know you have other ways of defending yourself, so do it."
Well, I don't really have any other ways of not getting picked on so much, but I'm sure I could figure out something without having to do anything physical.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Well, I was right about my dad not actually taking me anywhere, thank god. I was scared he was going to take me out to lunch to talk, or make me run some errands with him. I was not in the mood to do either of those, I'd rather have lunch at home where I can prepare it myself, and usually his errands consist of going to a bunch of random banks to "make deals" with them or something. I'm not sure how business stuff works. Though I should probably learn if I want to own the spice company. Anyway, we just went home and I went off to my room to contemplate everything that went on today.
I look over at my clock. It reads "2:03". I usually get home from school around 4:30. It wouldn't make sense for me to do anything not school-related until 4:30. I decide I should just sit on my bed without doing anything for the remaining time to keep the routine.
I do take the time to think, however. Maybe going to a new school won't be that bad. Sure, the messed-up routine will suck, but I will have a new reputation at this new school, and maybe I won't get picked on as much. Plus, I'll get used to the new schedule... after a couple of weeks. Maybe I'll even make friends. I went to a high-class private school and people there were judgy and snobby, so maybe people at this new school will be more... accepting? I doubt it, but there's a small chance I could find someone who would tolerate me and my "unusual" aspects.
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