On her last day of fall semester, Kayden caught herself wishing she had a reason to come in just one last time before the winter break. This was not a good sign. It was bad enough that she and Kaiser had just exchanged long stares at each other the previous day—when she’d shown off her new athletic leggings to him and thanked him for that gift card—but now she worried she might be getting too attached.

A not-so-subconscious part of her also latched on to the memory of how they’d held eye contact for several seconds. Was he feeling that chemistry, too? Was she becoming delusional because she had a crush? She really needed to find a way to stomp it out.

After dropping off the graded exams to Quiñones, she hovered in Kaiser’s open doorway for barely a second before he spotted her.

She gave him a playful smile. “Well, Kaiser, it looks like you won’t be seeing me until next semester.”

His crooked smirk and twinkling eyes suggested he might say something possibly flirty, but after a couple seconds, he settled on, “Oh yeah, I won’t see you till next year.”

She snorted, eyes nearly disappearing into her skull. “Wow, a dad joke. And one I’ve never heard before.” But she couldn’t stop the corners of her mouth from stretching.

He seemed proud of himself. “Ah, but you’re smiling, so that means it was a good joke.”

“It absolutely does not mean that.”

“Any joke that gets a smile out of you is a good joke.”

Was that a generic ‘you’ or directed specifically to her? It sure sounded like he put an extra emphasis on the word…

No, don’t read into it. It’s a general rule.

“Hm. A maybe is all I’ll concede.” A lie. She would do much more than that.

Kaiser’s eyes softened almost endearingly as he winked. “That’s a win for me.”

God, why did he have to keep winking at her? Each time sent a jolt through her system. Maybe she should tell him that…then he might stop. Or do it more often. Maybe do something more…

No wait, that’s bad. Don’t do more. Do less. Do less right now, Kayden, she demanded of herself.

“Well. Enjoy your break,” she finally squeaked out.

He pursed his lips with narrowing eyes. “You better enjoy yours. You know. Relax.”

With a playful huff, she rolled her eyes. She wiggled her fingers at him in a wave as she said her goodbyes.

It was too bad she wasn’t interested in dating. Maybe she could establish a friends-with-benefits arrangement with someone instead. Tito, her former resident assistant, was an option. They’d already fooled around the “Mormon way” a few times, and they kept in touch as casual friends still. She absolutely needed to focus her sexual frustration on an outlet other than Misha Kaiser, and since she decided to take his advice about “relaxing” over break, it would be the perfect opportunity to do just that.

***

Misha’s breath caught when he saw those auburn curls at the produce aisle. What were the odds? The holiday break had barely started, and he’d been thinking of Kayden for days…and now here she was, coincidentally at the store at the same time as him. He’d never seen her there before, so he knew those odds were low.

The black sweatpants caused him to pause—he was so used to her wearing yoga pants or skinny jeans—but the recognizable varsity jacket confirmed his suspicion.

He smuggled a smile as he greeted her. “Fancy seeing you here.”

A coil of her hair whipped over her eye as she spun her head to look at him, tempting him to brush it aside. Her eyes brightened instantly, her lips spreading into a huge toothy grin. “Kaiser, hey! Wow, I can’t believe we’ve never run into each other here before.”

Suddenly he realized he did not like her calling him that. It made him aware that he was the authority figure, here. He couldn’t let himself get too comfortable around her.

Might be too late for that.

He reached for a bunch of carrots. “What are you still doing in town? Aren’t you going home for the holiday?”

She stepped back away from the vegetables to give room for another store patron. “Well, this is my home now. I do have wuh—“ she stopped and cleared her throat, brushing the errant hair out of her eye. “I have stuff to do before I go down to visit.”

With the carrots in his cart basket, he also took a few steps back to clear the aisle. He wondered what she was actually about to say but didn’t press her for more. “Where are you from originally? Where does your family still live?”

She looped her arm through the basket holding her modest grocery collection. Her expression fell to a mixture of embarrassment and maybe even irritation. “I’m from Vegas.”

What kind of assumptions did people make about her based on where she was raised? “From a city of millions to the tiny town of Cedar City…that’s a stark difference.”

A relaxed and warm smile wrinkled her eyes. “I love it here. It’s such a welcome change. You can’t bike or walk anywhere in Vegas. Plus it’s hotter than hell. I wouldn’t move back for a million bucks.”

His eyebrows shot up skeptically. “Not even a million?”

She rolled her head with a groan and a sideways glance. “Okay, for a million, sure. But not if one of the stipulations was that I had to stay the rest of my life. A few years, maybe.” She shifted her weight and tucked some more hair behind her other ear. “What about you? Where are you from?”

It was a good sign that she wanted to continue the conversation. Or maybe it was bad. Yes, definitely bad. He should leave…

He held the basket against his leg and tucked his free hand in his jeans pocket. “North Carolina. A city just barely bigger than here but with the walkability of Vegas.” He grinned. “I also love it here, but there are admittedly some things I miss about home. Like the abundant precipitation.”

She laughed. “Yeah, precipitation means flooding, here. Are you going back to visit family? I mean…besides your mom.”

He shrugged a shoulder noncommittally. “No, my mother isn’t the only thorn in my side. I just didn’t feel like making the trip this year. Plus, I don’t have a dog sitter.”

Her eyes lit up. “You have a dog?”

“Yes, a wild pit bull.”

“Wild?”

“Just rambunctious. He’s a good boy, but has special considerations.”

The basket shifted arms as her expression turned pensive. “Huh. To be honest, I thought you would be more of a cat person.”

“Oh, I am. The independence and loyalty of a cat cannot be matched.”

She snorted. “Loyalty? Aren’t cats known for their aloofness and attempts to murder their owners?”

“Cats just like their independence. When you let them have it, they tend to be very loving and loyal.”

They locked eyes for a couple long milliseconds.

“Cats are a lot like people in that way,” he added.

“Yeah, I had a cat growing up.” The playfulness in her face melted as her dark eyes shifted to the side. “Some people don’t like cats because they’re too independent. They want something they can control, and cats aren’t that way.”

“Maybe, but to be fair, it’s much easier to train a dog to put himself in his kennel than to train a cat to stay off your countertops. And dogs tend to be more motivated by treats. Plus, cats scratch up your furniture.”

Her lips parted as the playful air returned. “What kind of cat person defames cats like this? Heresy!”

He fought his smile’s spread. “I’ll be the first to tell you that nothing in life is ever perfect or ideal. You just have to weigh the pros and cons.” He ran a hand through his untamed hair. “I say that now, despite not actually doing that for this dog. Turns out I have a selfless soft spot for neglected animals.”

“That’s why I can’t volunteer at the shelter. I’d have too many pets.” As her plump bottom lip disappeared under her top teeth, she glanced at the avocadoes on the end of the row of root vegetables.

He didn’t want the conversation to end. He wanted to ask her to lunch, to the park, maybe ice skating. All he could think about was spending more time with her. And it frustrated him. It made him mad at himself for not already being in a serious relationship, for not being in love with someone else. So in love that he wouldn’t have even noticed Kayden.

If he had simply gone into research after leaving the army, this wouldn’t even be an issue. He’d never have met her.

He had thought Halloween was a fluke, that after distancing himself from her for a few weeks, he’d get over whatever that feeling was. Even fake dating Cassidy should have helped satiate him, and maybe it would’ve, if he hadn’t stepped back and taken sex out of their deal. But he couldn’t keep a clear conscience if he continued to sleep with her, knowing part of him was still distracted. Plus, they could never work long-term.

He cleared his throat and stepped sideways, aiming for the dairy department opposite of them. Clearly she wanted to move on with her day, so he granted that. “Well, it was nice bumping into you.”

She beamed up at him. “Yeah, you too. Have a good holiday.”

“Drive safe. Don’t party too hard in Vegas.” He winked playfully, causing her to roll her eyes with a lighthearted scoff.

As he went about fulfilling his shopping list, he had to fight the urge to look for her on every aisle. He caught only one more glimpse of her as she went into the checkout line before him, but he resisted saying anything more to her. She was focused on her cell phone, anyway.

While on the road, he spotted her turning left toward the center of town on her bicycle—saddlebags over the back tire for her groceries. What if he just offered her a ride? The road still had snow on the sides... She could very well hit ice, and she wasn’t wearing a helmet…

No, he shouldn’t. That could be stalker territory. She probably lived nearby anyway, closer than he lived. It would be unreasonable to suggest it.

He passed the intersection and turned right to head home.

***

Before Misha knew it, Christmas day arrived. They never celebrated the religious aspect of the holiday, but it was still expected to gather with family and celebrate, so he made the obligatory call to his parents. To his surprise, his sister was the one who answered.

“Look who it is,” she said sardonically, not jovially.

His neck warmed up. He had hoped to call early enough to miss that side of the family. “Imelda. How are you?”

“We are fabulous. It’s a shame you didn’t come visit us this year. Your niblings miss you.”

“Well we both know that’s not true.” His jaw muscles bulged. “At least not for Niklaus.”

“He holds no bad blood. You’re the one who won’t apologize.”

“I have nothing for which to apologize.” The audacity of all of them to insist he apologize for accurately calling a spade a spade… “And I’d rather not sour our day by talking about it again, so please, tell me about the girls.”

An exasperated sigh was her reply. “You could ask them yourself if you were here.”

“I couldn’t get a dog sitter.” A partial truth. Had he planned months ahead, he likely could have found someone, maybe a student, to pop in twice a day to play with and feed Aiden. But, he hadn’t wanted to, and all chances to hire someone fell by the wayside.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s fine. Andrei is also flying this year. It was his turn, it seems. He should have been a lawyer instead.”

As if they didn’t have enough lawyers in the family. “Did you get the gifts I sent them?”

“Yes, they opened them last night.” High pitched squeals echoed over the line as several young girls’ voices overlapped. He could hear one asking about him, which brought a pain to his chest. Imelda quieted and dismissed them before returning to the phone. “As you can tell, they are very grateful.”

A forlorn smile crept over his lips. His four nieces were good, bright, hopeful little girls, and quickly growing into ladies. It wasn’t their fault they had an awful older brother and zealous parents and grandparents. The last time he saw them, he dared mention to them they could be anything they wanted when they grow up.

Imelda hadn’t appreciated that at all, his brother-in-law even less so.

Next year, he vowed. He would see them next year. And continue to whisper scandalous things in their ears like freedom of choice, travelling, finding their passions and making a positive impact on the world.

His father Gerasim came to the phone next, unexpectedly.

“How are things moving along with Cassidy?”

He definitely didn’t anticipate the line of questioning to come from him instead of Daria. “Slowly. I enjoy her company, but there’s no need to rush things.”

He sighed. “I don’t see the problem. You get along. You’re attracted to each other. She has a good family line and she’s fertile.”

A grimace contorted his face. He stood sharply and paced the living room and kitchen as they spoke. “She’s not a cow, Father. She's a human person with more to offer than her uterus. I know that’s a hard concept for you to grasp.”

“Oh please, I didn’t say anything of the sort.”

“Right. I’m not having kids, anyway. You know this.”

“If you’re so insistent, then why waste her time? There’s no sense in carrying on and giving her false hope—or worse, refusing to father children for her and marrying her anyway. And if you won’t have heirs, then there is no value in including you in the inheritance.”

There it was, again: the threat that was supposed to shake him, shock him, and force him to change. Instead, he simply laughed wryly, deciding to close this argument once and for all. “Oh, Father…I’ve lived without your money for a long time, now. I’ll be fine.”

The bitter silence that followed told him a new threat was brewing. But he spoke nothing of it. “Enjoy your holiday all alone.”

Before he even replied his mother was next on the line. She embellished her excitement to be speaking with him. He only half paid attention to their conversation. It was just more of the same: going on about the joy of having children around the Christmas tree and seeing their faces light up with gifts and how much more wonderful it is when those children are yours and your grandchildren.

Years ago this was a good effort. It had become background noise at this point.