My name is Akari, and I have a confession to make. I have a crush on a boy the grade above me. His name is Keito. He is so dreamy. His beautiful black hair, his little fang that sticks out of his mouth. It’s all just to die for!

Also, I think he has a secret. I’ve seen him do some weird things, such as flying in the air, avoiding everyone else for some reason, or having red lips. I think he might be a vampire. I began to squeal. Imagine if I became his vampire queen! Me and him, together, forever!

During lunch, I walk over to Keito-senpai, who is leaning onto a tree. The sun illuminates his face and body, while the wind blows around us. I can even hear romantic music playing in the background. I remember seeing stuff like this in the romance novels I’ve been reading. But I can’t believe that such a thing is actually happening in real life.

"Hi, Keito-senpai," I nervously said to him.

"Hey," Keito responds to me with his beautiful voice, while he stares at me with his sparkling eyes.

“I—” I paused. “I was wondering if you wanted to, um, hang out! Yeah! Hang out.”

“Sure,” he replies.

I sit down to eat my lunch from my bento box as he leans against the tree.

“I know you’ve been watching me,” he says, looking down at me after I finish eating.

“Oh,” I say, flustered. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s ok,” he says as I get back up. “I suspect you’re curious about my secret.”

"Secret? What secret? I didn't know you had a secret." I shout. He didn't need to know that I knew his secret. "But since you bring it up, what is it?"

He chuckles. “Well, I am a—”

"Vampire!" I exclaim while he speaks.

“—Tsuchinoko," he says, finishing his sentence.

Wait, what? I wasn’t expecting that.

“What did you say you were?”

"A tsuchinoko. Watch this."

After a puff of smoke, I see a weird, snakelike creature where Keito was, reaching about a meter long. He has a giant body and a tiny tail, along with a tiny head with a derpy face.

“You—you’re a—”

“Is something wrong?” He asks.

“I thought you were going to be a vampire.”

He laughs. “Why would I be a vampire?”

“Well, I saw you fly.”

“Oh, I was just jumping. Here, let me show you.”

He leaps about a meter into the air before coming back down.

I sigh as I look at the snake creature in front of me. Sure, he wasn’t what I expected, but this isn’t the end of the world, right? Because even underneath that form is the personality of a charming gentlem—

But before I can finish my sentence, he vomits, the remains of a rat coming out of his mouth. I recoil in disgust.

"Sorry, that was just my lunch.” He says. “Want some?"

"I think I'll pass..."

"Suit yourself."

He opens his mouth and eats the rat that he had just vomited, swallowing it whole. I struggle not to look away.

“Oh, do you know where some alcohol is?” He asks. “I could use a drink.”

“Umm… I don’t—”

“Oh, don’t sweat it; I can look for some myself.”

He sticks his tail in front of his face.

“I’ll see you around, Akari-chan,” he says before swallowing his tail and rolling away.

I shake my head as I try to regain my composure. Maybe things didn't turn out as I expected, but I won’t let that put me down. I'm sure my soulmate is just around the corner.

With a pep in my step, I turn around and begin to walk back to school. But as I turn the corner, I see a boy, one with a giant eye where his butt crack should be, thrusting his butt at anyone nearby.

"On second thought, I think I'm going to gouge my eyes out instead."