KAI

It took some time to adjust. To fame. The crowds. The chaos. I am Kai. The Maknae of the K-pop group Ace-One, the litterral ACE of kpop (not exaggerating that. Multiple sources said…) . I know I should be grateful for our fame but sometimes I find myself wondering if I deserve all of this. It doesn't always seem like it is. I know that there are some good days. But some days are just terrible. Today is one of those bad days. 

Our new album LOVE TRAIN just came out. Surprisingly our management company is having us film the music video for the title track of the album late. We usually film these videos weeks before the actual album comes out. But this time we were too busy writing all of the songs for it. We didn't have time. Our company didn’t like our original choices for the songs so we had to make 10 more songs to fit the album concept: love, crush, hearts, blah blahblah. Yeah, I know that the company wants me to be the “romantic one” but I am not that romantic. I actually don't like most people. Yes, I do love our fans but that Is different. The only people that I have loved in my life were my family members and of course our fans. Before I became famous, before I got invited to be a member of Ace-One, when I was a trainee I was the only one not crushing on a girl.

Anyway, as usual, we had to wake up early at 4 am to get to the shooting location. Then sit through hair and makeup for at least an hour and a half. Yeah, I wouldn't recommend that. Especially when you are tired. And then of course it started raining. 

I know at this point it just sounds like I am complaining about everything. I am not like that stuck-up rich type of person. I want to try to help other people in the world as much as I can. But sometimes I forget that I have to help myself too. I tend to suffer from panic attacks and was diagnosed with anxiety. I guess that I don't have the time to talk with someone or do something to help myself. It just bottles up inside of me. Yeah, I am that person in the group with all the mental problems.

Back to rain. So it started raining but we really need to finish the shoot and by the time we did we were soaked to the bone. We dried off under the set-up tent that was set up for filming while the staff called for a car.

“Man, I am so tired,” Luca says when we get into the car. Luca is one of the rappers in our group and honestly my best friend forever. We met eachother way before the auditions to become trainees for our company. We went to the same school, did the same activities, ate the same things, and basically anything best friends would do. 

“I think we all probably caught colds from that” Luca sighs “They shouldn't shoot the music videos when it is raining”

“I agree,” Sky sighs. Sky is the leader of the group. Also the oldest. He is kind. He tells very very bad jokes though. I mean he kinda is the dad of the groups so he has the dad humor?

“Hopefully we can chill for the rest of the afternoon,” says our main dancer Saka.

“Yeah. I could use a hot shower and some social media time” says Suho, the main vocalist.

“I might shower then try to come up with some choreography,” says Jae, he is the main dancer in the group.

We got back to the hotel around 4:00 pm. As soon as we get in our rooms, our manager, Ms. Lin, calls.

“You guys did well shooting today,” She says. “Rest up for the rest of today. We will resume filming the rest of the music video scenes tomorrow at 8 am. I will send a car for you guys around 7:30 am,”

We quickly say thank you and then hang up. We hardly ever get off so this was a special occasion for us. After we determin the room assignments, I quickly go up to the bathroom, remove my makeup, and take a nice hot shower. After I step out I hastily dry myself off with the fluffy towels the hotel staff had left us and change into the casual clothes I placed on the counter of the bathroom: A sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants. It's nice that I can take some time for myself now. Chill a bit, and hang out with the others. But what should I do? This is a hotel, not our dorms. We don't have any of our usual house features and personal items. I couldn’t bring any of my books sadly. Wait! Tomorrow is Christmas Eve!! I should get the other members gifts! I quickly open my chromebook to look online to find something to purchase for the other members. I close my chromebook after about a hour and look at the time. It is 8:35 pm. I still have some time to kill before I should sleep. Wait! Tomorrow is Christmas Eve!!! I should get the other members gifts! I quickly open my chromebook to look online to find something to purchase something for the other members. I close my chromebook after about a hour of gift searching. I hope they love the gifts I bought them! Curiously look at the time. It is 8:35 pm. I still have some time to kill before I should sleep. But what should I do? After some thinking I decide to go find Luca to see if he wanted to watch a movie with me. I just hope that he isn't already asleep.