Once I was clean, I looked through my closet, trying to figure out what I should wear to a surprise that I knew nothing about. I reached for the shirt Roland bought me. I had worn it so much since I left camp that the letters were beginning to crack but I still liked it. 

“Ready to go,” Andrew asked as he stood up from the couch and began walking to the door but not before smiling at the shirt I had chosen.

The ride was done in silence but I didn’t mind. My face was all but glued to the window as I tried to figure out where we were going. Sadly, nothing was jogging my memory. I had never been down this road and I didn’t know anything that was around here so it seemed like I was just going to have to wait.

As much as I hated to say it, I was starting to get excited. By the time we pulled into a random parking lot, I was all but buzzing in my seat. 

“So you brought me to an empty parking lot,” I asked as I looked around. “If you bought me here to meet a dealer, that’s not funny.”

“We’re waiting on someone,” he said as he looked down at his phone. “I would never bring a dealer to you. I will only ever try to help you. I think you’re going to like what I have planned.” I hummed as I watched every car that passed by, waiting to see which one joined us in the parking lot. 

“Are we early or something?”

“I think they’re running a bit late.”

“Should I be worried?”

“Probably not.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.” 

“It’ll be alright,” Andrew waved off just as a car pulled into the parking lot behind us. I didn’t recognize the car but I didn’t really expect to. I went to turn around to look at them and figure out who it was but Andrew stopped me. 

“Close your eyes.” I sighed and closed them. We sat in complete silence until Andrew spoke again.

“I know this is going to sound weird but try to get out of the car without opening your eyes.”

 
“This sounds like a set up for murder,” I sighed as I slipped out of the car. 

“You say you feel like you are going to be murdered and then you go along with it? I feel like the anti-depressants should be reconcidered.” I scoffed but don’t pay him any more attention as I attempted to crawl out.

I stood there for all of a few seconds before hearing a door slam shut and a weight being launched at me. The second his body connected with mine my eyes flew open. I couldn’t see much other than brown hair but I knew him. I knew the shape of him, the roughness of his hand as they held me close, the way he whispered my name like a prayer as if I would disappear at any time.

I held my boyfriend close to my body; before I knew it, my tears were covering his shirt. We sat there for a long time, just remember the way we felt against each other. 

“I missed you,” I said as I cupped his face. He hadn’t changed a bit. His hair was still brown, his eyes were brown as well, and he’d gotten a small tan now that he was being forced to spend time outside, but he was still the boyfriend I remembered. 

“I missed you more,” he said as he connected our lips. 

Our date had been perfect. It was just the two of us together and that was better than anything I could have asked for. I thought our date would end after Mary paid both of our bills but we piled up in Andrew’s car before he drove us to the same park we had gone to at Town Day. 

A blanket was set up in front of the lake and while I didn’t love the fact that it was directly in front of  Andrew’s car, I did like that neither of them got out of their cars to follow us.

The two of us laid on our backs, looking up at the night sky. His side was pressed against mine and our hands held each other’s on my stomach as his head used my free arm as a pillow. 

“Is there a reason we got to do this today,” Roland asked after a long time of us sitting in silence, just enjoying our time together. The moon was high in the sky at this point and I doubted we had much time left before they had to drag him back to camp.

“I think they were just worried about last night,” I said like it was no big deal but Roland didn’t seem convinced. 

“Should they be?”

“No. I'm fine.”

“If I had been the one to go through that last night, would you be worried?” He turned slightly to look at me, his eyes were wide and held a bit of worry in them. I sighed, knowing I couldn’t lie to him.

“Yes.”

“Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, we have a plan.”

“Can I know what it is?”

“The list didn’t work. I’m going to call people if it happens again.”

“And if that doesn’t work?”

“Then I go on medication.”

“Why risk another attack like that when you can get the meds now?”

“I don’t need them.”

“If you didn’t need them then last night wouldn’t have happened.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“You say that now but what happens next time? I don’t want you to suffer.”

“I’m going to suffer more with them,” I sighed. I didn’t want to keep having this conversation. I knew myself better than anyone else and if I said it wasn’t a good idea then people should be listening to me.

The words came out harsher than I would have liked. I had this same talk with three different people today, two of which had never gone through addiction the way I had and had no right to comment on how I worked through it and it was annoying. But the way Roland flinched away from me had my heart aching. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. I just want to forget about last night right now,” I said as I pulled him closer to me. He nodded against my arm as he hugged my side tightly. 

I didn’t bother trying to start up any more conversations. Roland wasn’t going to speak after that and I hated that I made him that way. 

In the end, we only had a few more minutes before Mary stepped out of Roland’s car and announced that it was time to go. The two of us seperated slowly before walking hand in hand to the parking lot. When Roland let go of my hand I gripped his wrist and pulled him back to me.

Confusion was clear in his eyes as he looked at me. I cupped his face as gently as I could before connecting our lips.

It was plenty dark and we were still far enough away that I was sure Mary and Andrew couldn’t tell what we were doing so I had no shame in rubbing my tongue against the seam of his lips.

I loved the small moan that came from him as he opened his mouth to allow my tongue to slip in. His hands gripped my back as I traced my tongue along his cheek and tongue. I gasped when his hips rubbed against mine. My hands tightened on his face as he continued. I forced myself to pull away but Roland didn’t stop. His lips went to my neck, sucking dark bruises into my skin, his jeans rubbing against my dick. 

“You’ve gotten better at this,” I moaned, meeting his movements with my own. “Have you been practicing without me,” I teased. He chuckled against my skin before pulling away. 

“No, I just had a really good teacher.” I hummed as I looked down at him. 

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“Maybe they’ll let us see each other more often now. Hopefully we won’t have to go this long without seeing each other again.”

“I’ll just fake a mental break down next time I want to see you. I’ve been told I can be very convicing.” I laughed as I forced myself to pull away. 

I led him to his car before opening the door and gestured for him to get in. 

“I’ll call you in a few days, same time as always,” I promised him. He nodded and I shut the door before he had a chance to see me cry for a second time tonight. 

Mary drove off only seconds later and I watched them go until their tailights were long faded in distance. 

“Do you feel any better now,” Andrew asked when I joined him back in his car. 

“I did. Then my boyfriend left and I remebered I have to go back to work tomorrow.”

“Are you still feeling empty?”

“Not as much I guess.”

“Do you think this could help you in the future?”

“Absolutely.”

“I’ll talk to Mary then. I’ll see what I can do.”