Ella tossed and turned in her sleep as her head filled with memories she wished she could get rid of. They came to her in dreams for the past eight years, plaguing her as she kept herself hidden from the very people that were featured in these memories or dreams.

Just get out of my head already! If you really were my parents, you would love me for who I am and respect me. Your aim in finding me would be to heal the hurt you've caused me and bring us together as a proper family, not to rope me into your lust for power. You just want to use me. I won’t let you. I won’t let you make me feel weak!

Ella threw these thoughts around in her head like darts in hopes of scaring the memories away; the ones that haunted her dreams, most nights.

Ella wished she could escape it all. A sinking feeling filled her gut as she knew  she would have no peace until the day of her parents’ defeat. Her resistance was met with the memories pushing harder on her until she gave in to them.

The memories turned into a dream, taking her back eight years to the day before she was dragged away from Everden. She was ten years old at the time. Ten! The dream took root and Ella lost awareness of everything else.

As a ten year old, Ella knew her parents couldn’t be trusted. She didn’t know why but she knew something was off with them. She didn’t want to call them out on it right away because she knew they would react badly.

Deep down, everyone has good intentions but will my parents ever change? Will they stop seeing me as their son and start looking at me as their daughter? Will they start behaving like actual parents?”

That’s what Ella thought that morning. The morning that would change her life forever.

When Ella came down that morning, breakfast was on the table. Her parents waited for her to serve herself before putting the rest away. They had already eaten so they left the food out long enough for Ella to get herself some. They did the bare minimum.

Ella gulped down her breakfast as quickly as she could so she could get back to practicing her magic in secret the way she did every morning.

She knew she needed to get better at using her powers so that she would be ready when her parents revealed their true selves. She knew it wouldn’t be long.

Ella polished off the rest of her breakfast and headed toward the kitchen door. Her mother, Mary stopped her, bringing her to a halt with a rough touch on the arm.

“Hang on,” she snarled, using a name that made Ella’s blood boil: her deadname. “I don’t think we’re done here yet.”

Ella’s father, Edgar motioned for Ella to sit back down at the table. “What’s the hurry, son?” he snickered. “We’re just getting started!”

Ella winced internally at the misgendering but didn’t let it show. 

The less they know about me the better, she thought. I can’t let them have me under their thumb; wrapped around their little finger. I won’t let that happen. I can’t let that happen.

Ella pushed herself deeper into the closet, sitting down resignedly at the table. “Getting started with what?”

She knew exactly what her parents were going on about but decided to play their game. She waited for her parents to tell her what they were going on about.

Mary and Edgar finished clearing off the table. Once finished, they rejoined Ella at the table. Ella gazed at her parents, her face revealing nothing.

Edgar made eye contact with Ella. “It’s been a while since we tested your powers.”

“What powers?” Ella asked. “I don’t have any.”

“That remains to be seen.” Mary gave her a knowing smile. “Magic runs in this family. It runs in your veins. It will come through if you let it. We need to see if your powers have manifested yet. At this point, it seems that they haven’t.”

Yeah right. I’m multiple steps ahead of you. If you two were as smart as you say you are, you would have caught on to my concealment of my powers. I’m not going to let you find out. Not if I can help it.

For the moment, Ella’s parents failed to notice anything that would suggest that she was hiding something from them.

“Let’s get started,” Edgar prompted. He pulled out a ring and held it up for Ella to see. “I am going to hide this ring of your mother’s. Are you with me so far?”

Ella nodded her head.

“Your job is to give my memory of the ring’s location to your mother,” Edgar continued.

“Okay,” Ella replied with mild impatience. She managed to come off to her parents as a devoted and determined student.

Her parents didn’t pick up on her impatience.

Mary pulled out a blindfold and twirled it around her finger. “Let’s begin.”

Ella flinched a tiny bit. “What’s this for?”

“We can’t let you see where your father is going now can we?” Mary sneered. “It’s only for a couple of minutes.”

“Fine,” Ella grumbled, submitting to her mother once again.

Mary slipped the blindfold over Ella’s head and placed it over her eyes, tying it behind her head in a bow. Ella shook all over in fear as she heard Edgar leave the room.

What if I mess up? What if they find out I’ve been hiding my powers all this time?

Tears streamed down Ella’s face and Mary smacked her on the arm.

“Toughen up,” Mary growled, using Ella’s deadname again. “Boys don’t cry.”

I’m not a boy!

Ella let this thought circulate through her mind.

“This one does,” Ella muttered, loud enough for Mary to hear.

Mary smacked Ella’s arm again.

“Stop it,” Mary whispered with ferocity. “You can’t let your father see you like this.”

Ella managed a small nod as her inward quaking continued. She swallowed the rest of her tears and wiped her eyes with the blindfold. Ella allowed herself to calm down enough for her breaths to slow down before her father’s inevitable return to the kitchen.

A couple minutes later, Ella heard her father’s footsteps returning to the kitchen. One Edgar had seated himself once again, Mary untied the blindfold that she had put on Ella a few minutes ago. Ella breathed a silent sigh of relief.

Edgar had a satisfied smile plastered on his face. 

Mary smiled back at her husband. “All set?”

Edgar nodded.

Mary turned back to Ella. “You know what to do,” she hissed, using Ella’s deadname once again. 

Ella groaned inwardly.

“Retrieve the memory,” Mary demanded, motioning for Ella to stand up.

“Go on, son,” Edgar pressed.

Ella obediently stood up and walked over to her father, reaching out with her arm. She placed her hand on his forehead which was warm to the touch. Her hand warmed up a bit, tingling as the magic did its work

She watches her father’s memories flash before her eyes until she found the memory this task required. She pulled her hand back gently, breaking the connection and replicating the memory of the ring’s location.

Edgar squinted at Ella. “Did you find it?”

Ella’s head bobbed up and down, giving her father his answer.

“Give it to your mother,” Edgar ordered.

Ella nodded again. She went back to her mother and placed a hand on her forehead. Ella’s hand tingled and warmed up once again. With a rush of adrenaline, she transferred the replicated memory of the ring’s location into her mother’s head.

Ella’s hand grew cold again; the transfer was complete. She removed her hand from her mother’s forehead. Panting, Ella sat down in her seat again, crossing one leg over the other and clasping her hands on her lap as if nothing had happened.

I hope I haven’t revealed myself, Ella thought to herself. If they find out anything, it will be the end of me.

Mary left the room, going to find the ring. A couple minutes later, she returned, holding the ring up for all to see with a triumphant look on her face. “Found it.” 

Edgar watched his wife return to her seat. “Excellent,” he said.

He placed a hand on Mary’s forehead briefly, checking on the quality of the memory’s replica. After a moment, he pulled his hand back in surprise.

“A perfect replica,” he muttered. “That’s impossible. We’ve been checking him for magical manifestations every three months! How did we not see this?”

“Someone’s really good at hiding things.” Mary gave Ella an accusing look. “How long has this been going on? How long have you been hiding this?”

“Longer than you can ever know,” Ella spat. “Maybe you’re not as clever as you think you are.”

Mary slapped Ella on the cheek. “You’re pathetic. Your cowardice will be punished.”

Edgar looked at Ella, his voice stern. “You will go to your room until we come to get you.” 

Ella dashed toward the staircase.

At least I can go to my room now. That’s where I wanted to go there right after breakfast so I could practice my magic. That’s what I always meant to do but they ruined it. They now know about my affinity towards memory magic. I can’t let them find out about my other abilities!

Ella sat in the corner of her room, crying with her head in her hands. Minutes passed then Edgar and Mary entered Ella’s room carrying extremely boyish clothing and shoes that are three sizes too small for Ella.

“Put these on,” Mary barked, foisting the clothing and the shoes at Ella and deadnaming her yet again.

Ella complied, her insides shrinking and her face turning gray.

“I notice you’ve been behaving and dressing yourself like a girl,” Edgar said, dryly, his voice rising. “I can see it in the way you carry yourself. It’s got to stop! We are not freaks! You are damaging our reputation! You will end your freakish behaviour now and you will not make us look like freaks! Am I understood?”

Ella stared at him halfheartedly. “Yes sir.”

She changed into the clothes that were forced upon her. Once she was dressed, her parents marched her down the stairs and out the front door. They paraded her around town when they passed any of her parents’ friends,  her parents jeered at her and so did all her parents’ followers. When they passed Ailish’s house, Ailish mouthed ‘I’m sorry. Your parents shouldn’t treat you like this. I have no idea why they’re doing it but it doesn’t sit right with me. You deserve better.’

This gave Ella the strength to keep going as her parents dragged her along. When they got home again, Ella’s parents marched her back to her room and turned her around to face them.

“Have you learned your lesson?” Edgar roared.

“Yes sir!” Ella shouted back.

“Then pack your things,” Mary ordered her. “We leave tomorrow morning.”

“Why?” Ella demanded.

“It seems you have too many distractions here.” Edgar gave her a smug smile. “You need to focus on mastering your powers so you can be ready for your first mission.”

First mission. Yeah right! More like initiation. 

Ella nodded slowly.

“We’ll leave you to it.” Mary took Edgar’s hand and dragged him to the door.

The two of them exited Ella’s room.

Ella closed the door behind them. She packed her belongings as fast as possible and set out a set of clothes for the following morning. She disrobed, removing the horrible clothes and the too tight shoes her parents forced her to wear and changing into her pajamas.

Once that was done, she collapsed onto her bed in exhaustion and utter humiliation. Before falling asleep she vowed to herself that she would hide anything and everything she could about herself from her parents. 

This meant not letting them see what a messy person she truly was. 

She would try to be the perfect son until she could get away from the people who had an enormous vendetta against her instead of loving her for all that she was.

***

Soren watched Ella tossing and turning in her sleep until they could watch no longer. They crept down the stairs and put the kettle on, preparing a mug of mint tea.

Once the tea was prepared, they stirred in a spoonful of honey and took the steaming mug up to the room they shared with Ella. The moment Soren entered the room, Ella woke up, gasping for breath.

Soren gave her a kind look. “Nightmare?”

“More like bad memories in dream form,” Ella replied. “Memories from my past that still torment me to this day.”

“About your parents?” Soren asked.

Ella nodded, frowning.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Soren told her with a wry smile.

Ella sat up in bed. “I’ll tell all of you in the morning.”

“Okay.” Soren offered the steaming mug they were holding, to Ella. “If you’re having trouble sleeping, why don’t you cuddle with me and curl up with this mug of tea I made for you?”

Ella took the mug from Soren with a grateful smile. “Sure.”

Ella took a sip of the tea then crossed the room and set the mug down on Soren’s bedside table. She sat down on the bed beside Soren and Soren let her lean against them. 

Ella sipped away at the mint tea until there was nothing left. She set the mug down on the table again and flopped down on the bed. 

Soren guided her head to the pillow before laying down beside Ella, covering both of them with the blankets.

“You’re going to be okay,” Soren soothed, smoothing the crease on Ella’s forehead that she got from frowning so much. “You’ve got us and we’re not going anywhere.”

Ella put an arm around Soren. “How do you know how to do this?” 

Soren rolled onto their side and faced Ella. “Do what?”

“Be there for someone, comfort them,” Ella responded.

“It comes naturally, I guess.” Soren wrapped their other arm around Ella, moving their thumb in circles on Ella’s side. “Ailish did this for me a lot when I was little. I used to get nightmares a lot. You helped me though one the other day.”

Ella nodded. “Thanks again.”

Soren’s voice washed over her. “Don’t thank me. You would do the same for me.”

Ella fell asleep and Soren did the same thing soon after. This time, Soren dreamt that it was Andrew they were cuddling with instead of Ella.