Chapter 1.

Higher.

¿Are you really happy or are you just living to live?

The question was clear, but the answer was painful, I wanted to say, Yes, I am living happily, when the reality was that I am just living, because I am breathing…

Just like when we activated the airplane mode on the phone so as not to be disturbed, that was my life, only with automatic control, I wanted to make mom happy, but it was increasingly painful to love her and not because she was a bad woman, but because my emotions were off and she did not realize it, but how would she notice if I am always smiling and I am accommodating with her decisions.

It's ironic that a 25 year old woman is still alive and obeying her mom, but I'm just a young adult who is just discovering what it's like to live and the world around her scares her, I know that at some point I have to let her go, but I, Kate Duff, 25 years old, refuse to leave the nest, not when she has fought so hard for my dreams of being a dancer, that she has sacrificed her entire life for it, sometimes I wonder what her life was like before me, but she always evades the question or claims that it was simple and ordinary, however, if that were true, ¿why am I here?, ¿why am I alive?, ¿who is my father and why have I never seen him in any of my acts?

It's always her who is there and although her presence doesn't bother me, I feel like she's hiding things from me, but as I once heard in a movie, a woman's heart is a sea of ​​secrets...

So I go back to the same old question: Kate, ¿are you happy? The mirror seems to ask me and somehow it feels like it's another me asking me the question, but I don't know how to answer, so I simply say: if you are, hold on to that as much as you can, because I've learned that above all else not all happy things in life last forever, not even I could be happy forever, we always have to overcome obstacles like in a video game, but the fact that I didn't have a father didn't mean that my life wasn't normal.

 Many people only have one father in their life and it turns out fine, I could do it too, all my life it's been me and my mother, the strong-willed woman and her only shy daughter, my mother eventually got a cookie stand in front of a high school so there was always a flow of money coming into the house and that's why I never I had seen her approaching or asking someone for help.

She always did it alone and maybe that is the fear I feel inside me, because if she could do everything alone, when she leaves… ¿How will I deal with everything by myself when I am a little adult who still needs someone to accompany him to do his paperwork because he is afraid of speaking in public? But when it comes to putting on a mask, dressing like a swan and tying his shoes, all fear dissipates, the audience does not exist and it is only me and the music fused into one being.