Liam stood and extended his hand to Cailan. Their fingers intertwined as he helped Cailan rise, steadying him against the slick porcelain. Liam's eyes never left Cailan's face as he reached for a towel, tenderly wrapping it around Cailan's shoulders.

As Liam grabbed another towel for himself, he stepped closer, their bodies nearly touching. “Do you remember when we lived under my father’s roof and you spent your days with your head buried in books from the house library?”

Cailan nodded. Of course he remembered.

"You knew that library better than I ever did," Liam continued. "One of your greatest joys was bringing me your favourite books, reading to me in the evenings. You loved that you could use your greater experience to find things that I would enjoy. Do you understand where I’m going with this?”

Cailan frowned and shook his head. “I don’t. This... intimacy... it's not something I can truly practise alone, is it? Perhaps I could learn more about my own body, but that won't help much with pleasing you."

Liam's smile was warm and tender as he gently towelled the water from Cailan's long hair. "My love, I was trying to explain why I don't mind your inexperience. You can't imagine how precious that moment was, with you on my lap, moving against me, chasing your pleasure. My only regret was that you didn't allow yourself to fully enjoy it."

He cupped Cailan's face in his hands, their eyes meeting. "You're not so different just because you're a slave, Cailan. Is it truly so difficult to understand that I want nothing more than to see you let go, to lose yourself in the moment?"

Cailan hugged his towel around himself and let out a deep sigh. “No, of course not. I do understand. But, Liam—I'm a Companion. We both know that's just a polite term for an expensive sex slave. It's... embarrassing to not even excel at the one thing I was bred, born, and trained for."

Liam stepped closer, his hand coming to rest on Cailan's cheek. "Cailan, please," he said, a hint of weariness in his voice. "Is that truly what you want? What you believe I should desire? If this were nothing more than me having sex with you because you're beautiful and skilled, then my father would have gotten exactly what he wanted—a slave to keep me from scandalising him by dallying with human men. This only becomes a victory for me if you allow me to revel in the far greater impropriety of loving you."

Despite everything, a giggle escaped Cailan’s lips. “Oh, he would hate that.”

Liam's face broke into a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Precisely," he said, leaning in until their foreheads nearly touched. "Let me romance you, Cailan. Let me shower you with affection and indulgence. It would make my father so very angry."

Cailan found himself mirroring Liam's smile, a spark of excitement igniting in his chest as his anxiety began to dissipate. "How could I possibly refuse such an offer?"

After they finished drying off, Liam gently clasped Cailan's hand. With a soft tug, he guided Cailan out of the bathroom, their joined hands swinging gently between them.

Cailan's heart raced as he approached the bed. He took a deep breath, willing his limbs to move with a grace he didn't quite feel. He climbed onto the mattress, hesitating for a moment before settling back against the pillows. He met Liam's gaze, hoping his eyes conveyed the desire coursing through him, even as his fingers twisted nervously in the fabric beneath him.

Liam was still half-erect, but the kiss he pressed against the side of Cailan’s face as he lay down next to him was gentle and unhurried. Cailan tried not to let it make him feel too embarrassed about his own performance. Clearly one of them had more self control, and it was not him.

But perhaps there was no shame in that. Perhaps his loss of control was a flattery that Liam deserved. He would like to see Liam come undone to the same degree. He would consider that a triumph.

Liam's fingers traced the contours of Cailan's face, his touch feather-light. "Tell me," he murmured, "what do you want? How can I please you?"

"I want you to claim me," Cailan breathed. "To show me that I'm truly yours."

Desire darkened Liam's eyes. "You want me inside you? You want me to fuck you?"

Cailan nodded, almost imperceptibly. “If that’s okay.”

"We'll let your body decide, but I'm more than willing to try." Liam's hand skimmed down Cailan's side, raising goosebumps. "Come here."

Their lips met, Liam's movements slow and deliberate. It felt like a lesson in intimacy, Cailan following Liam's lead. This kiss was a new kind of closeness, a joining of two bodies at a point that held both vulnerability and power. Liam demonstrated the latter by teasing his teeth over Cailan’s bottom lip.

As the kiss deepened, Liam's tongue sought entrance, and Cailan willingly parted his lips. It reminded Cailan a little of what he’d tried to do for Liam earlier, though a tongue was a much more manageable size for his mouth. 

The kiss took on a needier edge as Liam’s hand began to wander, finding and squeezing Cailan’s ass. As fingers roamed further, Cailan drew his leg up, exposing himself further. A delicious shiver of vulnerability ran through him as Liam's fingers ventured further, pressing into the cleft of his ass.

Though Cailan had often been described as 'shy' throughout his life, he now moved with uninhibited desire. He twisted, seeking a position that would grant Liam unfettered access to his body. Any lingering doubts about Liam's interest had evaporated, replaced by a burning need to be touched, explored, claimed.

As their lips parted, Liam's hand glided back to Cailan's hip, gently rolling him over to expose his front once more. Cailan's cock pressed eagerly against his stomach, already half-hard again, yearning for attention. Liam rolled his hips back, allowing his fingertips to trail down the warm cleft of Cailan's ass, igniting a fresh wave of desire.

“Do you like this?” Liam asked as a single finger brushed over Cailan’s entrance.

Cailan drew a sharp breath in and nodded, feeling his cock jump to full attention beneath him.

“Hm,” Liam said, a slow smile spreading across his lips. “Let’s find out what else you like, shall we?”

When Liam sat up and rolled Cailan completely onto his stomach, Cailan anticipated him reaching for the oil he had packed in his bag. What he hadn’t anticipated was Liam lifting his hips, parting the soft globes of his ass, and dipping his face down between them. The sudden, wet brush of a tongue against his entrance took him by surprise, sending shockwaves of unexpected pleasure coursing through him.

Liam pulled back just enough for Cailan to catch a glimpse of his face over his shoulder. “Good?” he asked, and Cailan could only nod; words had completely escaped him.

With newfound confidence, Liam dove back in. His tongue teased around Cailan's entrance, pushing against the tight ring of muscle and coaxing it to loosen, to open up and welcome deeper contact. Though Cailan had never experienced touch in that area before, he found himself shuddering, craving more. A soft whimper escaped him as Liam withdrew once more.

“I’ve never done this before,” Liam confessed, brushing his hand along Cailan’s ass. “It requires a level of cleanliness that is rarely achieved in a military camp. Well,” he added with a smile, “unless you happen to be blessed with the ability to clean yourself with magic, of course.”

Cailan almost offered to clean others for Liam out of reflex, but a wave of relief washed over him as he remembered that there would be no 'others' anymore. From this moment on, he would be Liam's one and only. With that thought in mind, he raised his hips invitingly.

That startled a laugh out of Liam. “Eager, are you? Good. Are you ready for more?”

Cailan nodded. He needed more, but he didn’t want to say so, to come across as demanding or desperate. Not when he’d already let his own libido make him lose sight of Liam’s pleasure once this evening.

Now Liam reached down towards his bag and came back with the bottle of oil in hand. Cailan felt his breathing constrict as he held still, but it was nerves, not fear, that strummed through him.

Sensing his tension, Liam's hand glided soothingly down Cailan's spine. "Relax," he murmured, his voice a calming balm. "This will be uncomfortable if you're too tense."

Cailan took a deep breath, consciously letting the tension seep from his muscles under Liam's gentle touch. He wanted with a desperate intensity that he knew wasn’t healthy for this to be perfect, but he would trust in Liam’s guidance. Their relationship had been faltering and messy at times, but in that it had found its own kind of perfection, or at least something Cailan wouldn’t sacrifice for a smoother path. Despite all of Cailan’s fears and insecurities, the only thing that truly mattered was that they were together, sharing this special moment between them.

Cailan watched as Liam uncorked the bottle of oil, but instead of pouring it onto his fingers, he paused and reached down to twine his fingers with Cailan’s. “This is one of those times when I need you to be honest and direct with me. Can you do that?”

Cailan nodded, squeezing Liam's hand. "I will."

“Promise me,” Liam insisted. “Promise you’ll be honest with me even if the truth isn’t what you want it to be. I can help you, but you have to help me. I need to know what you're feeling. I can't rely on guesswork this time."

“You’re scared,” Cailan realised.

Liam let out a quiet, frayed laugh. “A little bit,” he admitted. “My father and I don't speak, my mother hasn't written. Old school friends might as well be strangers now. You, Cailan... you're my only constant. The only one I've ever truly loved. My body aches with desire for you, but that pales in comparison to the ache of my heart.

“I know this matters to you in ways I can't simply soothe away. Your training goes beyond us, and sometimes you need to satisfy it to feel peace. I hope we can make this first time work for both of us. But if we can't—if it hurts, or you're afraid, or you don't enjoy it—I hope you'll let me find a way to make things better."

Cailan's eyes locked with Liam's, unwavering. "I'll tell you everything," he whispered, the words a promise and a pledge.

Liam's breath caught, his shoulders relaxing as if a weight had been lifted. "Everything," he echoed, voice thick with emotion. "The beautiful and the ugly. I want it all."

Cailan's gaze dropped, his lashes fluttering against suddenly warm cheeks. "I want to feel you inside me.” He glanced up, meeting Liam's eyes once more. "Is that... okay?"

Liam's pupils dilated, his breathing quickening. "More than okay," he breathed, reaching for the bottle of oil. The liquid glistened as it pooled in his palm, his fingers gleaming as he coated them.

"Hm," Liam mused, his gaze roaming over Cailan's body. "Roll onto your back and lift your knees to your chest."

“Like this?” Cailan asked as he complied. It was a little startling to be so exposed, but he could hardly be bashful when Liam had just explored what was now on display with his own tongue.

Liam's smile was tender and appreciative. "Perfect."

The brush of an oiled finger against his entrance wasn’t so unlike the wetness of a tongue, but the press of it was firmer as it encouraged Cailan to open up. Though he tried to relax, his body still felt tight around the finger that pressed inside of him.

Liam paused, his eyes on Cailan’s face. “How does it feel?”

“Odd,” Cailan admitted as he fought the urge to squirm. “Just—a little strange.”

Cailan had worried that Liam might pull away, discouraged by the lukewarm response, but he simply nodded and pressed his finger a little deeper. “It does feel odd at first. It takes a little getting used to.”

“Have you…?”

“Yes,” Liam said, no hint of shame in his voice. “I was sixteen the first time. Neither of us really knew what we were doing and my ass hurt for a week afterwards, but I had no regrets. It was something he and I did together. Something I’d felt like I had control over the whole time we were doing it. We got a lot of things wrong, certainly, but we got them wrong together.”

Cailan pressed his lips together and let his head fall to the side, averting his gaze.

Liam let out a soft breath. “I’m not trying to make you jealous, sweetheart. I’m just trying to explain what I want for you—and what I don’t want for you. You’re used to surrendering control to me. This time, make sure you keep some for yourself as well.”

Cailan returned his gaze to Liam’s face and gave a minute nod. “This feels okay. I think I’m ready for more.”

Liam gave him a warm smile, approval in his eyes. “Another finger?”

Cailan nodded.

The first finger had simply been an odd sensation, but the second finger stretched him. Cailan could feel his body squeezing down around the digits as Liam slowly slid them in and out.

Just as Cailan was starting to think he was getting an understanding of what his half of this experience would be like, Liam’s fingers curled within him. He drew in a sharp breath as they brushed against a sensitive spot inside of him that he hadn’t known was there and sent a jolt straight to his cock. Oh. 

Cailan’s mind went back to all the sounds he’d heard in the tent whenever Tris and Roope had sex, and suddenly everything made a lot more sense. The receptive partner wasn’t just a body to be used for the other person’s pleasure. They were meant to enjoy the act as well, and not just indirectly.