A silent tear was running down Anya's cheek while she sat in the dark on the riverbank hugging her knees shivering in the cold wind. It was the same place Ben and she had crawled out of the water after their involuntary swim and found that little cave she had her back turned to right now as shelter. She really didn't know how she ended up here again. After she stormed off and leaving her ex-boss behind, she realized she came up blank and just walked without thinking.

Where the hell should she even begin searching for Ben …and Snow for that matter?  He was a wounded, scared beast who couldn't even go to his chosen family because they would end him. She felt like a failure because she just realized that, even if she miraculously found him, she had not the slightest idea how to rebalance him.

"I let you down, Benji… Snow… I'm so sorry…" she whispered to herself "I can't even find you." She sniffed while her forehead fell on her knees crying.

"I hurt you…" a gruff voice came right from behind her "Still you looked for me?"

Anya turned around startled and looked with wide eyes at Snow. "Snow!?" she rubbed over her tearstained eyes while standing up and closing the three steps and hugging him. After a shocked second, he returned the hug carefully to not hurt her again. The swirls of his Tattoo moved closer together again, steading his mind some more.

"Your arm… does it hurt?" Snow looked down on where he remembered he had hurt her - the bandages Anya wore hidden under her jacked "A bit." Anya admitted

"I'm sorry…" Snow averted his eyes.

"Snow… it was an accident. Not your fault!" she assured but Snow just shook his head "I shouldn't have come to you…" he stated which in turn made Anya angry "Why not. Because I'm just a fragile human and totally useless?" she snapped "Anya…" Snow sighed but Anya was in that special state of mind where she had forgotten about her shyness.

"Maybe you should have gone to Cian… Oh wait, he wants to kill you because he thinks you are a mindless killer." - "Anya…" Snow tried again and despite his gruff voice he sounded soft.

She rubbed her face in frustration "Sorry, I'm just sick of people deciding what is good for me especially when they are wrong like Cian." She looked at Snow who heaved a deep sigh. "He isn't wrong…" he stated

"Oh, that's why you jumped me snarling and ripped me into shreds…" she remarked sullenly.

Snow regarded Anya with a sad smile "Let us sit and I try to explain." They both sat in the same spot Anya just had. Snow looked a moment at the silently flowing river bevor he started.

"Balance means one soul is in charge, the other anchors, completes. They still influence the one in charge." Snow explained "We are all led by instincts. When we are awakened, we beasts find ourselves in this unknown realm, scared, furious - I don't know why we are angry though." He looked at Anya "That moment it comes down on either the beast trusting the human soul and form the balance or something in the human soul makes us wary, untrusting and trying to gain control, drowning out the human soul in the process." His gaze went over the river stretching before him again "When this happens the beast lashes out in his fury and wouldn't stop killing." He sighed "Right now, I'm clinging to Ben for sheer life because I need him to not submit to my instincts. With you around, it feels easier. Like, you are his anchor, something to fight for."

Anya blushed "So, Ben is there the same way you are when Ben is in control? Cian is wrong and he is not gone?" she asked hopeful and Snow nodded "At the moment he is but we are fighting a losing battle, Anya. Ben drowns and my grip slips." He looked at her with sad eyes "When Ben is gone I'm not sure what will happen. I'm scared the fury returns and I will go on a rampage…" He swallowed "Call Cian. I'm a ticking bomb…" he started, wanting to accept his fate

"…not before you are balanced - one way or the other." Anya looked at him determined "Even if it's not the old balance and I can't have Ben back the way he was…" she shrugged "as long as Ben is there somewhere you can be in control without being a danger." She stated "And I'll fight Cian killing you unless there is definitely no hope anymore." She huffed a sad laugh "And embarrassing myself in the process because let's face it: I'm a lousy fighter. He'll hand my ass to me within the first five seconds."

Snow looked at her stunned. "Why would you do this?" he just asked which puzzled Anya "Because you are my friend, Snow…" she looked at him, paused, but knew she had to say it now because maybe it was her last chance "…and I love Ben." A stubborn Tear formed in her eye "You hear me in there? Don't you dare to drown…" she stabbed a finger at Snows chest "…Whatever that means." She mumbled.

"Anya, I…" Snow started but suddenly gasped grasping his temples the tattoo started to wildly swirl and reform. "Snow?" Anya asked scared what would happen if he lost control completely.

"It… hurts…" he grunted in pain and looked scared at first then suddenly is features relaxed "Ben's fighting to reemerge…" he added doubling over but a smile on his face and Anya did the only thing she could think of - she gently cupping his face, kissing him until he suddenly sacked onto her, out like a light.

Anxious she just grabbed him tight in a hug - who would he be when he woke up? Ben? Snow? Or pure beast which would possibly kill her. For now, the only thing she could do was to hold him. That his tattoo was back the way she used to know gave her some hope.

Anya lost track of time when Ben stirred and his body began to revert to human. "Benji?" she whispered "Any… other person… I'd kill… calling me that." His voice just a more than a whisper but she heard the underlying chuckle. Anya hugged him tight "I thought I'd lost you…" suddenly crying and laughing at the same time because all the tension was gone.

When Ben returned the hug, he made her gasp in pain because he involuntary had put pressure on the gashes on her upper arm. Her yelp made him let go of her in shock, gently pulling down her jacket over her shoulder on the side she hurt until he saw the bandage and the bloodstains. "What on earth happened? I only remember drowning and Snow trying to hold onto me." He ran a hand through his hair while trying to remember "He was never that substantial in my mind." He looked at the women before him carefully reaching for her arm and gently examine her gashes by peeking under her bandage.

"Snow came to me, all bleeding from his shoulder and looking like he was caught in mid-change. Claws, elongated limbs. All this." She started "He said the Beastlord disturbed your balance. Begged me not to call Cian because he would kill him." She swallowed "He fell asleep but had nightmares. I guess I startled him and he raked me with his claws…" she recognized shock and guilt on his face "It was an accident, Ben." She added hastily but saw this didn't sooth his guilt "Yeah… Me assuring this didn't ran with Snow either." She sighed "He ran off because of this. I didn't know what to do and then Cian came looking for you… Snow… whatever…" she was confused "We fought about him wanting to kill you and I yelled at him for it." She huffed a laugh "I somewhen just grabbed my stuff and ran aimlessly around until I ended up here, no Idea where to find you or what to do if I did." She leaned back "In the end Snow found me here. We talked…" she went on but Ben interjected "…and you said you love me… and kissed me." Ben suddenly remembered which made Anya blush.

They sat in silence for a moment "I meant that, Benji." She whispered looking at her hands resting on her knees, not daring to look at him. She was afraid he would laugh at her, turn her down "When you came visiting me when I was sick, taking care of me, held me when I fever cried… that's when I knew it." She confessed.

"And then I closed up… again… I got scared because we became so close." Ben grumbled unhappy with himself but Anya, now daring to look at him, said "I… got scared too, I think?" she tried to put her own feelings in words "I didn't know how to tell you… how you would react…" she sighed unsure what to say prompting Ben to put an arm around her shoulders inviting her to cuddle if she felt like it. Anya decided to act on it, resting her head against his chest.

"This feels right for me..." she admitted, getting confidence out of his opening up.

Ben smiled "I'd say we should start dating but frankly? Just realized that's what we did the last few weeks... Dinners, hitting the bar, Movie nights, gaming…" he agreed which made Anya chuckle "Aw... and you never even got a good night kiss..." she lightly turned in his embrace to face him "I really enjoyed those 'dates'…" she admitted.

"So, since we agree on this too..." Ben grinned suddenly shy "Do you want to give that 'us' a try?" it was the first time in ages he even considered opening up to a woman more than for a meaningless one-night-stand. Anya leant her forehead against his "I'd really like that."

Still Anya in his arm they watched the pink-redish sky of dawn peeking over the treetops "I guess we are gonna be late for work." Ben smirked and felt Anya shrugging "Not working for Cian anymore. I Quit." She told Ben and he pulled away for a moment, looking into her eyes to make sure she didn't joke "What the fuck?" he blurted out.

"He ordered me to stay at home when I wanted to look for you… even drew the Boss card… like he bloody owned me or something which pissed me off so much I told him I quit." She was still furious about it.

"I see…" Ben sighed "He was worried for you and wanted you to be safe. From his experiences at awakenings, he was sure I was already gone." Anya scoffed "Awakenings, yes. But this was the Beastlord disturbing a fully functional balance…" she argued.

"…and he saw the bodies of what the Beastlord did over the last year to others like me." Ben cut her off. Anya knew he was right, still she couldn't bring herself to admit it so she said what they always said in such moments "Go fuck yourself…" she murmured and had to laugh when Ben joined in their trademark line in the end.

"Anyway…" Ben started to get up "I need to check in with Cian and the tribe. Come with me? You can stick it to him you were right…" he teased and held his hand out to her "Maybe you can even sort this out? I don't want to go back to onboarding new hires who will quit the next day." he smirked and Anya let him help her up "And here I thought it's because you like me… but I called Cian dipshit… so I wouldn't bet on it." she admitted and Ben laughed "You what?" he started crying tears in laughing "I told you I was pissed." She blushed and put her hands in the pockets of her jeans.

Anya looked Ben up and down noticing how tired he still looked and pulled out her phone "I call Cian to pick us up - at least he can do that… plus I don't want to walk over an hour back home." She grumbled and searched for Cian's contact "If he still picks up my calls, that is." She mumbled when she hit the call button and was surprised when her former boss answered at the first ring "Damnit Anya, I was worried as hell… Where are you? Are you ok?" he bombarded her with questions. sounding worried and relieved at the same time.

"I found Ben. He is back in balance." Anya just said and silence ensued "Care to pick us up?" she asked in the silence. "Where to?" Cian just asked.

"You remember where at the river Ben and I had been washed up last month?" she asked "On my way…" he confirmed.