Alyssa was halfway back to her chambers when the feeling of the walls closing in on her suddenly washed over her. Pausing, she kept her face serene with effort. She asked lightly, "Risa, would it be possible to go to a garden instead? I find that I wish for some fresh air before I return to my chambers."
Risa looked at Antoine for several seconds before turning her attention back to Alyssa and nodding. "Of course, milady. There's a lovely little garden courtyard not that far from where your chambers are. It's also quite defensible, so it will be safe for you to remain there as long as you wish. This way."
Alyssa followed Risa gratefully, making sure that she paid close attention to the decor and subtle clues of the palace so that she would be able to navigate these halls should she ever find herself back in them. True to her word, the courtyard was nearby and Alyssa silently let out the breath she was holding as she stepped into the warm sunlight. Not caring that the guards were watching, she moved over to the very middle of the garden and closed her eyes, tipping her face up into the sun.
Absorbing the warmth, she hadn't realized how cold the palace had felt to her until that moment, Alyssa worked on re-centering herself. But the peace kept slipping away from her, her foundation having been shaken by the events of the past day. Even with all that she and her family had talked about the woman who would be the prince's mate, they had never dreamed that it would be her. Because of this, she had no certainty, no plans. And not only that, but the things that they'd discussed had never included assassins, for heaven's sake! That was beyond anathema.
She buried her hands in her skirt to disguise their trembling. She had come very close to death the day before and even though she'd managed to brush most of it aside, her body seemed to finally understand how close she'd come to dying now that she'd had a minute to stop and think. She didn't try to stop the shaking, overall, that was one of the milder ways of the body processing shock and trauma. Even if she hated appearing weak like this.
Normally, she would keep herself busy with any of a myriad of tasks and duties that were required to keep the Keep running smoothly. Then, by the time she'd realized that she or a loved one had been in danger, her body would've already processed the fear and danger and her subconscious would've eased the sharpest edges of the encounter in her memory. But here, she was worse than useless, confined to enforced idleness. All because of an assassin.
Rage flooded her and she finally allowed her face to drop away from the sun, opening up her eyes and surveying the garden. There! In a discreet grotto was a comfortable grouping of chairs obviously meant for gatherings of close friends and family. Glancing at her guards, Risa and Antoine were giving her her space, talking quietly to each other near the entrance where they could still protect her. Huffing an irritable sigh, she turned and stalked over to where the chairs were, her mother's lessons kicking in at the last moment, causing her to sit delicately instead of slamming down like she wished.
Who had the nerve to actually send an assassin after a new mate? When she found the person responsible, she was going to pluck out their feathers one by one before dropping them off a cliff. Her fingers itched for a task, she longed to be up and moving, to be doing something, anything, useful! Longing for her parents welled in her and she took a deep breath, anchoring herself in their firm certainty. No matter how angry she was, at least her family didn't have to receive word of her death instead of news of the surprising bond.
She followed that thought a bit further. If her parents were here, what would their advice be? How would they have responded to this situation?
Her ire died away entirely as she turned this over in her mind. When she'd been recognized as the prince's mate, her parents would've been torn between pride, happiness, and uncertainty. They would've been proud that she was considered equal to royalty, happy that she'd found her mate, they truly only wanted her happiness. But that would've been mixed with a hint of uncertainty, because what did they really know of the prince, beyond that which was public knowledge?
But what about afterward? After the assassination attempt?
She frowned as she worked through it. Many would've thought that it would've been her father who would be in a rage at the attempt on his family, roaring for justice as he searched for the perpetrator. However, that role belonged to her tiny, fair mother. She would've roared like a general on the battlefield, sending people scurrying in all directions as she gave orders faster than most could follow. Her father, on the other hand, would be nearly silent, every movement economical and precise. He was a master strategist and he would bury all emotion, sorting through the situation with logic as he picked apart the tangled web.
First task first, either he or his trusted aides would start asking questions, determining exactly what had happened. Rowan already had that task well in hand, the reports she'd overheard speaking of meticulous attention to detail. Now they were in the waiting phase, for the investigation to move at its own pace. This part had always driven her mother crazy, pacing and irritable until results appeared. Her father had never tried to soothe her or tell her that she fretted unnecessarily, just kept a discreet eye on her while steadily working through his usual tasks.
Which brought Alyssa back to her current dilemma. She had no tasks here at the palace, nothing to keep her busy while she waited. Not only that, but since they were leaving as soon as the negotiations were done, it would be inadvisable to try and find a task or try to get to know the people of the court. She drummed her fingers impatiently on the arm of her chair. If it hadn't been for Rowan needing information about the Sanduins, she would've already run into this problem.
Her fingers paused as her last thought truly sunk in. Rowan had wanted, had asked for her advice concerning the Sanduin traders. If he was as well-informed as he appeared to be and still didn't know some of the basics about his trade partners, then maybe his people were uninformed of some of the finer points as well. After all, the Sanduin were a very discreet people. So if she could continue to help improve relations between their two peoples, that would be the best way for her to serve her country at the moment.
She looked up and Risa must've read her face, because she was immediately by Alyssa's side, "Yes, milady?"
Alyssa took a moment to order her thoughts before replying. "Would it be possible to speak with the cook and the steward in charge of the Sanduins' care? His Highness is in negotiations with them and I would like to ask them some questions, if that is permissible."
Risa hesitated for several moments slowly nodding. "I think that will be all right. I will send a runner asking for them to attend you here in this courtyard rather than in your rooms, if you don't mind."
Alyssa shook her head, running through what the necessary requirements of hosting Sanduins would be. "Of course, Risa. You can stay with me while we speak, make sure that I'm not overstepping my bounds on anything." Risa started to move away and she called softly after her, "Thank you. It helps, to keep busy."
Risa looked over her shoulder, her expression softening. "Of course, milady. Things will work out, trust his highness. However, if you can help out, well, it would be a shame to ignore it, no?"
Alyssa felt the tension in her shoulders ease and smiled at her bodyguard. "Yes, a shame."
As Risa left to speak with a runner, Alyssa settled more comfortably into her chair and started formulating her list. Yes, she just needed to focus on what she could do instead of all the things out of her control. One thing at a time.
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