“Milo, if I pay for drinks, can we go talk?” 

Milo looked up from his notebook, busy compiling notes about their adventure. “Ezra? Are you okay? You seem… nervous, almost.” 

“Yeah well… I need someone to talk to who knows about this stuff.” 

Milo raised an eyebrow. “What stuff?” 

“You know… relationship stuff," Ezra admitted, looking ashamed.

Milo couldn't help but let out a short laugh. “Well, if you’re approaching me of all people for advice, you must be in quite the predicament.” 

“Shut up. Please. I’ll pay for whatever you want, I just need to ask you things I can't really ask most other people I know.” 

“Alright, two minutes.” 

Ezra groaned but waited for Milo to finish writing a list of what they had found out from the Regis of Holn, before carefully putting away his battered notebook, quill and ink. The moment he was done, Ezra led him to the bar he was at the day before. The sprite hadn’t moved from where he had last seen her, days before. 

“Oh! You’re back so soon, and with a friend, as promised! Hi!” she waved at them both. “What can I get you?” 

Ezra translated and glanced at Milo. “Pick your poison.” 

Milo wasn’t sure what was in front of him on the shelves - he couldn’t read the local language, and the bottles didn’t exactly remind him of anything from Evira. “I ah… do they have anything at all like whiskey?” 

Ezra asked the sprite the same question, describing what Eviran whiskey was like. She made a few energetic hand gestures and poured a rather tall glass of something sky blue. Milo lifted it - it smelled incredibly similar to the whiskey cream his aunt made during the winter season. 

Ezra grinned and said something to the sprite, who gave Milo a second glass of the drink, as well as something else - a glass of glossy flowers. Ezra didn’t hesitate before picking one and eating it. He handed one to Milo. 

“Try this.” 

The flowers were small and a delightful, unique orange color. Milo ate it hesitantly, immediately wincing at its bitterness.

“Guiding winds, Ezra, what is that?” 

“Spiritblossoms. These flowers turn the water they take up into alcohol. Fun little things. And don’t worry, you’ll be fine, this bar is one of the only ones safe for human consumption.” 

“You keep those, I’ll stick to this… blue.” 

Ezra shrugged. “Fine by me. There’s a thing here in the Courts that I wish Evira had more of - the bars have silent tables, where the people around it can talk without others hearing. So don’t worry about anyone overhearing us. But it's also expected that we help clean, once we leave.” 

Milo blinked and looked around - it was true, the bar was oddly quiet on its right side. The left side was fairly empty, but he could still hear the clinking of things being put away. It was such a simple spell, but goodness, it was nice not to be overwhelmed by the conversations surrounding him. The pair found a free table, and the moment they sat down, snacks appeared in front of them. Immediately, Ezra pulled a plate of small, bread-like rolls away from Milo.

“Not those. I got immune to fae foods, but these’ll drive you crazy.” 

“I heard tales of fae delicacies making humans loose their minds… I didn’t think I’d ever get to see any of it. It looks so innocent.” Milo sipped at the blue drink in his glass, pleasantly surprised by its flavor. “So… what is it you needed to ask me about?” 

Ezra leaned back in his chair, tapping the table with his fingertips, looking off to the side. “Sh*t, this is awkward… How did you…” he cleared his throat. “How did you know you liked guys?” 

Milo’s eyes widened at the question. Nobody had ever asked it to him before - he was so used to people simply accepting having feelings for anybody, that how they knew never was a concern. 

“I- wow okay.” 

“Told you it was awkward.” 

“Just a little, but it’s okay.” Milo reassured him, wondering where he was going with the question. “It’s simple, really. Back when I was in school, I’d only ever feel… seen, I guess, when it was another boy that looked at me with a smile. At first, it made me… this is going to sound foolish. At first, it made me want to keep giving them reasons to smile at me. I must have been… nine summers, I think, the first time I blushed at one boy being kind to me. That really confused me, and a friend started making fun of me for it, teasing me for being in love. My sister helped me calm down, then, as I thought my friend was serious, and I freaked out because I kept thinking I was too young to be in love.” Milo chuckled. “It took many, many more years for me to even start to understand what love even meant, much longer than it did for most of my friends.”

“It was that easy for you to know?” 

Milo sipped his drink and nodded. “But I know that for some people it takes a lot longer, as they never took the opportunity to, ah… explore more than one option. I was open to it, but never truly wanted to be with a woman. Well, I guess Reyna and I were technically together for a year, but-” 

“Wait, wait hold up. You and Reyna? No way.” 

“It was a… test, of sorts. My family was really attached to the idea of… heir production. And well, can’t do that with a guy… and we are best friends so it would have been an easy match. Besides, she is much like Calixa, except she doesn’t feel physical attraction, either, so it was just… extended friendship where we held hands when people expected us to, and nothing more.” 

“Did you two ever-” 

Milo promptly shook his head. “No, oh stars no. The most we did was kiss a few times, which was uncomfortable to say the least. Now we are fine to kiss each other on the cheek or forehead, but like I said, she’s my best friend. It’s not romantic, but we love each other anyway.” 

Ezra groaned and ate another flower, savoring its slightly peppery bitterness. “I’ve heard that sentiment one too many times this week.” He muttered. 

“... Does any of this have to do with why you brought me here? You think you might like guys?” 

Ezra laughed. “I don’t have a f*cking clue. I’ve always been fixated on Calixa. I’ve messed around a bit with some other women here but-” Ezra groaned and dropped his head in his hands, raking his fingers through his short brown hair. “There’s someone whose identity I entirely accept, but it’s confusing me.” 

“The identity confuses you?” 

“No, Milo, my… interest in them. Their name is Raine, and, well, they use both ‘she’ and ‘they’ when being referred to. And I know ‘they’ means... and I’ve just never considered- I mean-” Ezra groaned again, jasmine blossoms blooming everywhere around him. “I don’t know what that means about me and my attractions. I don’t know if that means I also like men, I just- I am confused.” 

“Why would it matter if you liked someone who doesn't identify as much with ‘she’?”

Ezra groaned again. “I'm telling you, I don't know! All my life I never questioned myself, not once. I’m like… I’m like a teenager who is still trying to determine what they want in life. ”

Milo stayed silent for a moment, thinking about Ezra's words, and shrugged. “This isn’t an invitation, by the way. Because I don’t want you to. But… would you want to kiss me?” 

Ezra coudln’t help but laugh. “How very upfront of you. You could have just asked if I wanted to kiss 'a guy', but okay.” 

Milo lifted his glass, now half-empty. “Blame it on this. Or thank it, whatever.” 

Ezra considered Milo then, as a person, rather than a friend. He had to admit, he wasn’t sure he would want to kiss him. He looked around to the other men in the room - none seemed particularly… enticing. 

“I don’t know. I really don’t know, I- ugh this sucks.” 

Milo rolled his eyes. “Give me your hand.”

“Wait, what?” 

“Just do it. I’m getting tipsy, so just do it.” 

Ezra ate another spiritblossom and placed his hand in Milos’ outstretched one. Milo Anani, who lifted Ezra’s hand and kissed the back of it, gently, keeping his eyes locked on his own. Milo let go of his hand after, reaching for his second drink, taking a deep swig. 

“Did you feel anything?” Milo asked.

Ezra considered everything about the kiss - Milos’ eyes on his, how soft it was, how it may have been with anyone else, how easily the scholar did so. 

“No, no I really didn’t. No offense.” 

Milo exhaled in relief. “Thank the stars, imagine how awkward that would have been.” he started giggling to himself. 

“Why- What- Just - you don’t have feelings for me, do you?” Ezra asked, worried. 

“Oh very much not. You’re cute, yes, that’s undeniable. But first, I’m in love with someone else. I ah... I don't usually have that kind of confidence. I have a few times, in the past, but except for being the one to kiss my partner first...” Milo shook his head. "I didn't mind doing it, if it helps you figure yourself out. I trust you. And second, your personality is not my type.” 

Ezra snorted. “Wow, thanks.” 

“Why, did you want me to like you?” 

“No, but you didn’t have to insult my personality.” 

Milo chuckled. “I didn’t insult your personality, I just said it’s not the kind I find appealing in a romantic way.” 

“Okay… part two of my questions for tonight, then.” Ezra took two Spiritblossoms and chewed on them slowly, drawing out the time before his next question. 

He didn’t want to hurt Milo, but… 

“How did you know you were in love with your partner? Or even that you wanted to be with him in the first place?” 

Milo’s eyes widened a fraction, but he stayed quiet, looking into his drink for a long, silent minute. 

“This drink… Make it a tad more green, and it would look like the color of his eyes…” 

Ezra stayed quiet, letting Milo gather himself. “You don’t have to answer, I’m sorry, that was insensitive.” 

“No, no I can answer… I’m just looking for the right words.” Milo tapped his nails on the side of his glass. “I didn’t know I had affections for him right away. We started off as friends. He told me later that his excuse for becoming friends with me was that he did have affections towards me, even before the first time we spent time together. I realized I wanted to be with him in two separate moments. The first was more gentle than the second, but… the feeling was…” Milo chuckled. “It was almost unbearable, but I kept chasing it. I went from seeing him as a friend to someone I couldn’t get out of my mind, no matter how hard I tried. I ah, I was the one to kiss him first, just to see if that would change anything between us.” 

Ezra rose his eyebrows. “Wait, really? Were you the confident one in the relationship?” 

“Oh, no not at all. I ah, rather naively hoped that doing that would make my affections fade. It did not.” 

“Why in the name of the skies did you think that would work?” 

Milo bit his lip. “It worked that way for everyone else…” 

“Oh…” 

“But just… I think I knew I wanted to give him - give us - a chance, when there was something unexplainable drawing me to him. And not only that - I instantly felt comfortable around him. But the connection didn’t happen right away. I think I already said that…” Milo shook his head. “This drink is making me less giggly than usual, but more blurry, I miss Eviran drinks.” He exhaled deeply, trying to steady himself. “It didn’t take very long for me to realize it was more than a crush, that I really liked him. And once I realized that, stars above, there was nothing anyone could do to make me see him as anything else than my light.” Milo’s cheeks reddened. “I’m sorry, that last bit slipped.” 

“You still see him that way, don’t you?” 

Milo looked outside the bar’s window. “I do… not always, just… there are times I do, I guess, without realizing.” He looked back at Ezra. “I think that’s my answer for you. I knew I was in love with Corym when he started becoming my light in the dark. Someone I could look to, unconditionally, when things became too much. A guide, a reassurance, but also my friend.” Milo looked away and wiped a tear off his cheek. "Sorry."

Ezra let Milo’s words sink in as he let the last Spiritblossom dissolve on his tongue. 

Something about Milo’s explanation brought him back to his experiences with Raine. He wasn’t sure what it was, exactly, but thinking of them made a smile creep onto his face. 

“I- Okay. Thank you, Milo. Sorry for asking such personal questions, by the way, I’m sorry if that brought anything up you didn’t want to think about.” 

Milo shook his head. “Oh- Oh I shouldn’t move my head like that, that was a bad idea. But don’t worry. I miss him, all the time, but if it was enlightening to you, I’m happy to have been able to help.” 

Ezra nodded. “I think you did help. I just don’t know how to act on it.” 

"You think you like Raine, right?"


"Maybe? I don't know."

Milo shrugged. "You don't have to know right away. Just... have fun with them. See where things lead." Milo finished his drink. “What about the whole identity situation… thing?” 

“I… I think I prefer women, yes. I just can’t see myself with a guy. But… if Raine considers themselves as both, or neither… I think that’s okay with me, in a personal sense.... You know, Milo, we arrived in Astrazalinor just over a day ago, and I’ve already learned more about myself than I have in all my years by Calixa’s side… Milo?” 

The scholar had fallen asleep at the bar table, holding onto the rings on his necklace. Ezra chuckled - fae wines would always be stronger to humans - and gently woke him up to go back to the castle for the night. 

The price of the drinks was steeper than he was used to, but he had promised to pay it. 

He was okay with not sleeping for the next three nights. 


~~~~~

That evening, once Ezra and Milo had returned from the bar, they found Calixa, listening to Elias telling her about the stories behind the pictures fae found in the stars at night, letting her run her hands over little game pieces he had laid out on the table in the shapes formed by the stars.

“Go get Kovan and Aalma, I’ll find Raine and Lila.”

“May I ask why?” Elias asked, not looking up from the game pieces he was arranging into a new shape. 

“We’re taking Calixa stargazing tonight.” 

Soon enough, the guards, their queen, and the two people from Evira were away from the palace, away from the trees, laying in the grass as they stared up at the stars. Each in turn, they took Calixa’s hand and made her point towards where certain stars were, tracing different shapes, telling different stories. Lila did what she could to explain the moons - their size, where they were, how both of them would be completely dark soon, becoming invisible in the night sky. Milo showed her the stars of the Arima, both in the sky and on his arms. He explained its significance of balance, making it a perfect symbol for the Arima to steal, as god of games. 

“But, we also now know it was once the symbol of the Morningstar, goddess of the sky. I like to think of it as still being just that.” 

Before long, Lila tapped on Ezra’s arm, pointing out Milo, asleep in the soft grass, holding a morningstar lily between his fingers, smiling. 

“Yeah, the drinks here hit him harder than I expected. Let him rest, he deserves it.” 

The group stayed there, talking, laughing, exchanging stories, until daybreak.