Mom said, don’t be afraid. Live with your life. I can live my life but loving someone is out of my context. I can’t do love because every person loves me, will end up hurting themselves. 

Thomas is walking towards me. I have not been replying to his messages and calls these past few days and I try my best not to make eye contact with him because I don’t know what to say about that kiss.

“Hey, I just want to say sorry about the other night. I didn’t mean to do that.” 

I smiled at him, “Nah, that’s alright.” 

“I don’t want you to think that I was a jerk.”

Actually, I sense that he is a playboy, and the reason he approaches me is because of sex. 

“I didn’t think of you that way.” I lied and yeah, I was avoiding him.

“Then, why are you avoiding me?" He asked, genuinely.

"You made me uncomfortable and I didn't want to be your playmate." I said directly in a calm way.

He let out a sigh and smiled a little, "I'm sorry, Athena. I'm out of control that night. I shouldn't have done that." I felt his sincerity and I smiled at him, extending my hand.

"Friends?” I said.

“Friends.” He shook my hand then smiled, “So, are you alright?” He asked and I nod, “How do you know my mother?” 

“Mother?” I curiously asked him. 

“Yeah.” 

“Is Amelia your mother?” he nodded, and my eyes grew bigger, “Oh, I’m sorry that I was rude. It's just that..."

“No, it’s fine. I was just curious.” 

I looked at him and he was really curious, “My mother was her mentor in painting.” 

“Oh,” 

“Yeah, she was introduced to me when my mom opened her own exhibit.” 

“Oh really? Small world, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah, small world.” Great. Maybe I can ask him to let me talk to Amelia about the painting, “Can I tal—” 

“There’s a gathering for all the freshmen in Adonis club. Well, more like a ritual for all newbies.” He said and laughed. 

Maybe, I will just ask him some other time, “Adonis club?” 

“That’s where all the freshmen gather for a new life.” 

I scoff, “That’s... cool.” 

“So, are you going?” He excitedly asked me.

I look at him and he wants me to come, "I don’t know... I don’t know anyone.” 

He pointed to himself, “I’m here. Come on Athena. We can use this to meet someone.” 

“I’m not... a social person.” I spoke. 

“Then, have some fun. You look terrible these days.” He teases me. 

I tapped his head, "You’re a dork.” 

“Ouch!” he said, pretending to be in pain while laughing. 

“Alright. Just... leave me alone and you can make out with the girl.” 

“Aye! I’ll pick you up at eight.” 

I nod at him, and we shut our mouths when the professor arrives. Adonis club. That was familiar. I hope it isn’t owned by my real brother Adonis. After class, I gather my stuff and we talk about our project on our way out. 

“So, where should we make our project?” Thomas asked.

“Mine’s not available. I was surrounded by lawyers and doctors.” His eyes grew bigger as he was amused to hear that, “It's my auntie. My mother’s sister. She’s a therapist and sometimes, she does her work in the house.” 

He nodded, “Your family is incredible.” 

I laughed a little, "Oh, you just know the iceberg.” 

“You don’t need to be ashamed. You’re cool and I’m sure your whole family is awesome.” I just shook my head because he believed that my family was awesome even if they have never met, "So, where’s your family?” 

“Well, I actually live in Chicago, but I chose to study here.” I said while we walked downstairs. 

“Hm, that’s cool. Um, are you on scholarship?” 

“No. My brothers are sponsoring me.” 

“Brothers?” 

“Yeah, and I’m the only woman.” 

“No way.” He laughed and couldn't believe what I said. 

“Told you, it's just an iceberg of what you know.” 

“Hey, Athena.” I stopped talking and I looked at the guy who was approaching us. 

I smiled at him, "Hey, Noah.” I don’t know why but whenever I see him, my heart keeps beating faster. It started when he said those words. And yet, I can’t figure it out. I don’t know what to say because I didn't have words in my mind until I saw the eyes of Thomas looking at Noah, it's... fierce, “Oh, I have to go. I’ve got the next class.” 

I said to both of them, and left. What’s with Thomas? And what’s with Noah... smiling like a model? 

Oh, god. I should wear glasses. 

***

"Okay, this Noah guy makes your heart beat faster and this Thomas guy stole a kiss from you but, he doesn’t mean it because..."

I was preparing for the party, and I had time left for FaceTime with Charlotte. I just told her now because I was busy thinking about my feelings. 

“After Thomas kissed me, I started to feel uncomfortable around him but he said it doesn’t mean anything, so I shrugged off that feeling. He’s a nice guy and he helped me to adjust in my new school. In fact, he’s the only friend I have here in my one-month journey.” 

"And Noah. You forgot him."

“Oh, he is my friend and senior. He thinks of me as a little sister and that’s that.” 

"Did he say that?"

I was putting on my mascara and stopped doing it and stared at myself, “Um, no... it's what I think.” 

"Oh, god, Athena. Your judgement is not hundred percent right."

I sighed, “I know.”

"It’s a good sign that you felt something on this Noah guy rather than Thomas. Which means, you can feel love." I’m done with my make-up, and I tied up my hair, "No! Don’t tie your hair, just let it be," She said and I just let it be, "There you go. You have such beautiful dark hair."

I smiled at her. She makes my confidence boost, “You know that I don’t deserve to feel love." 

"Athena, let yourself out of that prison. It was not your fault."

I clench my hands to control my tears not to fall, "But I was the reason why he did that.” 

"Oh, Athena..."

I'm still in that nightmare, and I couldn't let things happen again, “Because of this fucking lack of sexual desires, I’ve messed someone’s life.” I was the one to blame. 

"No. Don't blame yourself. You are not ready and he forces you! I just... want you to be happy. Please, let yourself out.” she said then I sighed, "Okay, just... hear me out."

I nod at her, “Okay, what is it?” 

"So, here is what you should do to prove your feelings for him." I scoffed at her, "Just listen, Athena. You have feelings for him even if it’s a little spark, maybe, maybe he is the one that will let you out of that prison. Please, just do this for me, hm? Also, for yourself."

I laughed at her idea but she winked at me before we ended our call. Typical Charlotte, her advice is not that bad. I received a text from Thomas and he's here. I get out of my room and I pass Jeremy’s room. But, abruptly stopped and I looked in Jeremy’s room and aunt Sandra was reading him a storybook. I walk backwards and sneak a peek. I can’t help myself to mesmerize when I was about that age. My mother used to tell me stories for me to fall asleep. 

I didn’t know that I was smiling and when I realized, I ran fast because Thomas was waiting for me. 

“Hey,” I greeted him, and I fastened my seatbelt. I looked at him and he was staring at me, “What?” 

“Oh, my giddy aunt! You are so stunning. Let’s take a picture.” I just shook my head and I prepared myself for a pose. I wore a knitted sleeveless black dress with a slit on the left side and I wore black combat boots, “You know, you are great at fashion. Why don’t you do modelling? Huh?” 

“No, it doesn’t suit me.” 

“Yes! Don’t you see? You’ve got a perfect body and face.” 

“Oh, god! Don’t put me in an embarrassing state.” I said and laughed. 

He drove the car, and in a minute, we were here outside the club. A muscular guy was opening the door for me, and Thomas tossed his car keys to him. I looked at him with my mouth open and I mouthed him, “What the hell?” 

He just winked at me, and he put his arm around me, “Are you like a regular here?” I was asking him, and I looked at the side, there were people who were lining up at the entrance. But this guy seems well-known by these bouncers. 

“Um, not really. I was just friendly.” he said, and I slightly tapped his chest for his arrogance. Okay, he has a broad chest. 

“Your dork!” I raised my voice because of the loud music inside the club. 

“Hey, mate!” 

“Bro! 

“Thomas!” 

The three guys were calling him, and they were in a spot which I think, it's their signature spot and there are two hookers. He fists bumping to them and bro hugging. After they do their rituals, one of them looks at me. 

“Hey, who is this beautiful lady?” 

“Oh, guys, this is Athena.” I waved at them and smiled. A friendly smile but I think the guy with auburn hair meant it another way. 

“Come on sit.” the auburn hair guy said. 

I sat beside Thomas because the table was circular, the auburn guy was across from us.

“How did you guys meet?” 

“Mate, you didn’t say that you have a girlfriend!” 

“Oh, no, no, no, we’re just friends!” I said and the auburn guy spoke. 

“Friends!” he nodded as if he had a chance. 

“We are in the same class and in the same project!” Thomas said. 

Okay, this is getting me uncomfortable because this auburn guy was staring at me.

“I’m going to get a drink!” I said to Thomas as I was saying it in his ears.

I went to the bar counter, “What can I get for you, miss?” 

“Your signature drink, please.” 

I use my phone and scroll in my Instagram. I saw Thomas post and it's our picture in his car. We don’t follow each other yet but because he was famous, Instagram recommended him. I saw his profile. Gosh, 500k followers? He's really famous. 

“Here ‘ya go.” The bartender gave me an orange with blue vodka? It's more like a shake style in a tumbler glass. I take a sip and I almost choke out because it's very delicious! It's like a taste of heaven, “That’s the reaction I wanted to see.” 

“Oh, my god! Who made this drink?” 

“Um, me?" He said and I looked at him. He is a handsome, black guy and has curly hair. 

“Really?” I took a sip again, “I will never forget the taste of it.” I said and even though this has the same name as my brother, I never went to one of his clubs because I don’t want to see him make out. 

“Is this your first time here?” he asks. 

“Um, yes. Why?” 

“Hm, you're kinda familiar. Your face is more beautiful than other girls here.” 

I looked at him, "Did we... met?” 

He laughed a little, “You are just familiar. I think I saw you somewhere.” 

“And where that might be?” 

He shrugged and then we cut each other off when the two girls were ordering a drink. 

“Oh, my god! He's very hot!" I didn’t mind their presence but what makes me mind them is because of him. 

“Is that... Noah?” 

“Noah Taylor!?” 

“Yeah, he is freaking hot and handsome!” 

“He didn’t change at all after what happened.” 

“Bitch, is that true? His girlfriend died last year.” 

Noah Taylor. I locked my eyes at him, and he has so many friends. 

“That’s why he became such a jackass and stopped studying.” 

I hate eavesdropping but I can’t help it since it was about Noah. I didn’t know that he had scars because he was always smiling.