Chapter 18.

I have to go.

Indeed, the voice of the heart and that of the mind could not be in complete agreement, because it was the constant dispute between being and not being, wanting and not wanting at the same time, which is why Cristian decided to blindly believe that that way of speaking was only to protect his job and his integrity as a human being to avoid rumors that he had only graduated because he had slept with the professor. 

Maybe this was exactly what Fred was trying to protect and it was the only way he had to take care of that beautiful relationship they both had.

Suddenly, his cell phone rang while he was in the bathroom washing his face. It was a message from Fred telling him that he had to leave in an emergency, which is why he had not been able to let him know. 

That goodbye through a message hurt more than a blow, because ¿how could he not have told him that he would leave when they were in the same house, in the same place? ¿What could be more important for him to leave like that and not face him to say a real goodbye?

After looking at the message for a long time, Cristian didn't even know how to answer it. It was clear that the person was online, but she wasn't talking to him. His mind was screaming at him to just send their relationship to hell. 

However, his heart was telling him that it could be a last-minute emergency, an unforeseen event, that someone had gotten sick and he had to run away, that he shouldn't question the love they both felt. But again, Cristian began to feel dirty, used, and his skin was rubbing off from the night before. 

It was obvious that alcohol can disguise a person as good at times, but when you wake up, that's when you see who the person really is in their actions. Therefore, the shower was the perfect camouflage for his tears, for the crying that begged to come out and was drowning in the water that was going down the drain.

Those kisses that were to be 

He had left love marks on his body, in front of the mirror they looked exactly the same as the ones Jackson had left in their first meeting, what could differentiate the two men in the way they had of manipulating.

Maybe it was true in some way: one was crude and cruel showing his animal nature, but never hiding the sadist he had inside or disguising himself as good when he was not; while the other claimed to love him with sweet words, but not with actions, which could show that Fred was at the same level as Jackson and Cristian was the judge of the scale that measured his actions on who was better or who was worse.

His mind and his heart did not agree, because if it was about Jackson, the mind and the heart had only one way of classifying him as guilty, but when it was about Fred, they could not agree: one loved him and the other judged him as if he had an angel saying how good he was and a little devil saying how he really was.