[Image Caption: Koda and Nick having lunch in Nick's dorm room.]

At school the following week, I remember to give Nick my notes at the start of class. I made photocopies since I'll need mine to study soon enough. "They're not going to be of much use," I tell him as I hand them over.

He shrugs. "They're still probably better than mine. Mine are total shit. I can hardly read my writing."

I snort back a laugh. "Well, good luck reading mine. It's just as bad."

He smiles, leafing through the pages. "Nah, it's legible." He glances up at me. "Thanks!"

It's no problem. Some people guard their notes carefully because they feel that if everyone in the class does well, there won't be a grading curve. I don't care about stuff like that. It's Introduction to Statistics, and I'm not that cunning. You either do well, or you don't.

Samir is present today, thank god. Now I won't have to listen to Nick awkwardly talk about it all day. It's completely obvious that Nick has such a boner for Samir. I don't care, but it's fucking obnoxious to listen to.

Samir has missed a ton of classes this semester. Maybe he hates this particular course, or maybe he's crashing and burning. I wonder if he has accommodations through the student service center. You're allowed to miss more class if you get a note from a doctor that says you have anxiety or something.

Nick keeps denying his obsession, but he isn't slick. Even now, Nick is watching him. Honestly, if Samir needs to miss this much fucking school because of some personal crisis he's having, Nick is not even close to being on his level. He’s not good at understanding other people's problems. 

The professor goes over study points for the midterm, which will be held in the next class. Nick's eyes are still glued to Samir. He should try paying attention for once. Then he wouldn't need my notes.

I think Nick has some sort of hard-on for justice, but it gets warped and obsessive. I glance at him again. He keeps eying Samir for a few more moments before he catches me staring at him and stops, giving me a sheepish smile. I must look annoyed. 

Nick fiddles with his pencil, scribbling down a few notes. His papers are sloppy. I can barely read what it says. I guess he was right when he said his writing was total shit. I stare down at my own notes. They're not much better, but at least I can read what I put down.

High school was hard for me. I had a difficult time getting my shit together. My parents were always on my ass about it, which didn't help. I want to do well on my exams. I hate studying, but I've been good this year. My marks are decent, too.

The fact that I was always fucking up in high school is pretty funny, considering that I'm on the veterinary track now. It's definitely not easy. I'd like to think my parents are proud, but we'll have to see if I can keep up with the workload. I really want to do this. My sister is a veterinarian, too. It kind of looks like I’m following in her footsteps, but it's not that. 

Maybe it's childish, but I kind of hate that Kora somehow managed to make this whole situation about her. Everyone's always so bummed out that she doesn't come around. My parents were only ever controlling with me. I guess Kora didn't need it. She did well in school and made well-kept, appropriate friends. I know she disagreed with how overbearing mom and dad were, although she never said anything to them. That's probably why it pisses me off so much that she refuses to visit. She had a perfectly normal childhood—she has nothing to run away from, so I feel like she's just avoiding me. Maybe she is. People like to avoid things that they don't know how to deal with. People get awkward. They fumble.

If she said sorry, I'd forgive her. I think it would make me feel better. I get why she left, but I still want her to acknowledge that she could be doing better at keeping in touch. It's not like I don't try, but it feels so one-sided. Her replies are rushed when we text, and it's hard to keep trying with someone when they're not trying with you. It's lonely.

I don't have that many close friends, to be honest. I have friends, sure, but none I’m especially tight with. Just Nick. I even have a hard time talking with him. He's supportive about everyday things, but I can't begin to imagine how he would deal with all the shit that goes on in my life. 

Finally, the class comes to an end, and I start to pack up my notebooks. It's time for lunch, but I'm not hungry. 

Nick drags me to get coffee and buys me a sandwich, even though I tell him not to. We go back to his room, going over each other's study notes.

"Are you excited for spring break?" Nick asks.

It's just like him to see right past midterms and keep his eye on the prize.

"I am." I nod. "I was thinking we should go do something since we have the whole week off."

"Yeah! Like what?"

"I don't know. Whatever really. I didn't have a specific idea. I just wanted to get out."

"Get away from your parents, you mean." Nick laughs with a mouth full of food. I'm surprised he doesn't choke. 

"A lot of people are staying on campus over break since it's a pain to go home for just one week," he tells me, taking another bite of his lunch. "You could always come stay in my dorm and we could just get fucked up for a few days. I'm sure there will be lots of parties."

I hate to admit it, but that does sound fun. I doubt it would ever fly with my parents.

"I can’t just disappear like that for a week.”

"Make up an excuse," Nick instructs.

I wish it were that easy. They may let me if I fib about where I'm going to be. If they knew I would be with Nick, they would never let me.

"Come on," he urges. "At least ask. You need to be on your own for a while. They're too protective. They didn't even let you go on any overnight field trips when we were in grade school."

I missed out on a lot growing up. I always had to hear about it from my peers, who never made me feel any better. They just insisted that I missed out on a fun time and rubbed it in my face.

"Tell them you have something vet-related," Nick suggests. "They're all obsessed with what you're doing in school, so I'm sure they'll let you go if you say it's important for you to go in order to pass."

"That's no good. They know all the vet curriculum from when my sister went through it. They'll know she never did an overnight thing." 

"So say it's new," he persists. "Your sister is older. Classes change. It wouldn't be that weird to say that now there's a new clinic you're required to put overnight hours in at. Say you want to do it over spring break so that it doesn't conflict with the rest of your classes."

"They'll just wonder why I'm not home during the day then."

Nick rolls his eyes. "You're full of excuses, aren't you? Tell them that you went home when they were still at work. Pop in once every two days. It's not hard to come up with something."

"I'll try," I tell him, wanting him to drop it and leave me alone.

"Even if you can't stay here for a week, at least try for a few days," he suggests.

"That might be doable," I say, though I don't want to make any promises. I don't want him to get disappointed if I have to bail at the last minute because my parents get suspicious.

Regardless of what I say, they’ll likely be at least somewhat suspicious. I know they’ll be texting me a lot.

"I have to go to the library," I tell Nick, wrapping up my mostly untouched lunch. "I want to study for the stats midterm."

"Okay," Nick nods, "I'll catch up with you later then—and seriously, talk to your parents about all this shit."

"I will, I will," I say dismissively. 

I leave the dorm and walk across campus. The library is crowded with people who have the same obligations to study as me, but after a few minutes, I manage to find an open table. I set down my books and spread out my notes. This course has so much memorization. Regardless, I'll study until my next class. Then I'll keep studying when I get home tonight. I'll get an A if I commit enough time to it. That's what's important, after all.