If there was one thing I hadn’t done since moving into my own dorm, it was to go grocery shopping. Sang’s cooking lessons hadn’t taught me how to prepare the new foods I now had a choice of in Karys. However, I was hungry and getting miserable by the second, so with a mission in mind, I left the dorms for the first time on my own.

The convenience store nearby lived up to its name and carried almost anything I could want including ready-made meals. I had an awkward exchange with the older woman who was trying to help me but managed to get myself snacks, a hot meal, and a drink.

I was on my way back to my dorm when I changed my mind and decided to stop by Aubyn’s dorm. I knew he wasn’t home and that Coen was most likely out with Milan, but if I went back to eat in my own room, I’d feel too lonely. I let myself in and spent a long time trying to sort the trash when I was finished eating. Karys had a strict recycling system that I was still figuring out.

Aubyn’s smell was everywhere in his room, especially on the bed. I missed him but I didn’t want to disturb him at work. If I texted him, he’d probably think he’d need to respond immediately when he saw it. Missing him wasn’t an emergency so I’d just have to wait until he returned home.

I crawled under the covers of his neatly made bed and inhaled deeply. I couldn’t wait to have something to do during the daytime. Being in the dorms without him all day was lonely. I fell asleep in his bed, surrounded by his smell. The hand and voice that woke me hours later also belonged to him. I hid my face out of mortification, but he only chuckled and kissed my forehead and even said he had missed me while he had been at work. As he dressed after his shower, he told me he had some news to share.

“Coen will be going back to Tsuk’ki soon.”

“Just Coen?” I asked, sitting up.

“Yes. It will only be for a little while before I join him there for my vacation.”

Coen would have to be away from his father again. “Can’t he stay here until you’re ready to start your vacation?”

“He has school. The longer he stays away, the harder it is going to be for him to transition back into a classroom setting.” Aubyn, now changed, came over to sit next to me. “Are you worried about him?”

I dropped my head on his shoulder. “A bit. He hated being so far away from you when you were on Earth and he was in Tsuk’ki.”

“This is different. We have a similar schedule when we are on Othanai and we can communicate a lot easier and more frequently than we could while I was on Earth. It is always hard to separate, so I am spending this evening and all of tomorrow with him. His flight is in the morning, the day after tomorrow. My brother will be in Leto to receive him when he gets off the avion.”

“Can I go with you to see him off?” I asked. I’d like to say a proper goodbye to Coen even if I was sure he wouldn’t miss me in the slightest.

“Of course. I will come to get you on the morning of his departure.” Aubyn hugged me sideways. “We have not spent much time together alone since we have been here.”

“It’s alright. I feel closer to you just being here.” I lifted my head to look up at him. “Not that I wouldn’t mind having hours of just us in bed-”

“Zedikai…”

“Talking!” I had a love-hate relationship with that warning tone of his. “Since we landed, I’ve gotten sick, you went back to work, I got my own room that I’ve been busy shopping for, and just when I think that maybe we’ll find some time to just be together, Coen is leaving and I’m starting work. It feels more chaotic here than it did on Earth.”

“Because everything is new and strange and a new normal needs to be created now that you are here. It takes an adjustment period.”

“How long is that going to take?”

“I do not know.”

“And how long is it going to take to find out what comes from my decision to think about dating you? I feel like we’re in limbo.”

Aubyn went silent for a while, but I not-so-patiently awaited his response. “Do you not want to first know who you are thinking of dating?”

“An Othanaian, a Daun’tonian who is from Tsuk’ki who can shapeshift into a large, panther-like animal. Oh! Someone who can also control people to some extent.”

“Does that not scare you?”

“Confuse me? Yes, because I still don’t quite get how you can do that. Scare me? No. You don’t scare me at all.” It was the very opposite. I felt the safest around him. Even when I’d seen him as his hieu, as long as I knew it was him, I wasn’t scared. “Disappointed?” I asked when he’d gone silent again. “Thought you had finally scared me off?”

“Maybe. I just want you to know what you are getting into.”

“Is there something I should know?”

“Nothing specific.”

“Are you hiding something from me?” I didn’t have the best personality, so knowing I had managed to pull someone as amazing as Aubyn still left me dazed and confused sometimes. What was strange was that he seemed to doubt my feelings for him. It was as if he was waiting for me to change my mind.

“Not that I know of.”

“Are you worried I might have trouble accepting our differences the more I find out about them and learn about you?” I kept guessing. Something had to be wrong to explain why we were still in this weird place. I really didn’t care about our differences. I was more worried about him changing his mind about me. “I thought that once I agreed to think about us seriously, we’d start dating.” I nearly cringed at my own tone. I was impatient and it was seeping into my words.

“I want that.”

“So do I. Since we both want that, why aren’t we dating yet?”

“Can you please be patient with me, Zedikai?” Aubyn murmured, squeezing me a bit tighter against him. He pressed his lips against the top of my head. “Please?”

It wasn’t as if I could refuse with how much I wanted him. Especially not when he was asking me so softly. “Fine,” I mumbled. “I’ll try to be patient.”

So it seemed my non-existent sex life needed to be knocked down a few bullets on my list of priorities. ‘Emotional State of my Non-existent Relationship’ got bumped closer to the top under ‘Sending Coen off’.

Coen and I hadn’t grown that much closer, so I hadn’t expected an emotional sendoff. Milan and Sang got their hugs and I had to ask for one so I wouldn’t continue to feel overlooked by my crush’s son. Sad. Coen, however, wouldn’t let go of his father even when the nanny who would be escorting him on the flight came to collect him.

“San-ga will be waiting in Leto for you to come off the avion. Do you not want to go to him so you can go back to school tomorrow?”

Coen started to shake his head at first, then nodded. “I can go back to school?”

“Yes, but you can only do that if you go back to Tsuk’ki. Will you miss me?”

Coen nodded and looked as if he was about to start crying.

“I will miss you too. Do you know what I will do when I start to miss you? I will call you and we can talk about anything and everything.”

“Can I call Papa as soon as I see San-ga later?”

“Yes.”

“And tonight?”

“Yes.”

“And tomorrow too?”

“Yes. Call me any time. I will come to see you soon, so take care of Vins for me. And remember to tell Nama and Panma about your trip when you go visit them.”

“Okay.”

And just like that, the tears dried up before they could fall. Aubyn went from being unable to detach his clingy son from him to waving goodbye as the nanny took him away.

“Do you miss him already?” I whispered as we were on the way back to our dorms by train. Aubyn had been noticeably gloomy since leaving the aerodrome.

“Yes, I do,” Aubyn replied with a heavy sigh as he reached for my hand. “My dorm will now feel very empty.”

“You’re talking like you usually don’t sleep alone in that dorm.”

“I have not since we got here.”

He had a point. “Want to sleep in my dorm tonight?” I asked, surprising myself as I relaxed so he could toy with my fingers.

“May I?”

“Any time. And don’t worry. I will keep all naughty thoughts in my head.”

Aubyn grinned but suppressed it by pressing his lips together. “Maybe not tonight, but I will take you up on your offer sometime soon.”