After a bit, I hear a voice. I open my eyes. The rain transformed into a storm. I can feel my anxiety rising. No one can see me like this! I look around for the source of the voice. Then, I see him. Rafael was pleading for help. Someone was attacking him. I get up, not knowing what to do. I can’t go and fight! I’m too weak and scared! Then I hear his voice again. No! I must help him! And suddenly, I start running towards them. The rain and wind push me back, but I move forward. He needs my help! Then, I fall. I can’t get up. I look at Rafael. He looks at me. His blue eyes are full of fear. Suddenly, he is punched and thrown away like a toy. He falls to the ground. He remains motionless.

“NO!” I shout.

The wind stops and the rain slows down. I get up and throw myself in front of Rafael. The attacker is shrouded in darkness.

“I will not let you hurt him!” I say, full of rage.

“Are you sure?” the attacker asks. “Aren’t you too afraid to protect anyone?”

I can’t answer. He is right. Suddenly, the man leaps at me. I get out of the way. Physically I can’t win. So I’ll let him beat himself. The man enters into a tree. He shouts something and then lunges at me again. I move out of the way again, and this time he hits a rock. He gets up and tries to catch me, but I manage to avoid him again. He hits a tree and falls. Now weak, he gets up. He lunges at me one last time. I once again dodge and he falls on the ground, defeated. I look at Rafael. He seems fine. He even gets up. I look concerned at him, but he looks back at me with a sad look.

“Why are you so afraid?” he asks.

“I… I… I…” I say, without being able to finish a sentence.

Rafael starts walking towards the river and I follow. He doesn’t say another word. When we arrive next to the river, I look at him.

“I’m afraid I’ll be left alone!” I say.

“Why?” he asks and turns to me.

I never saw him so serious. He looks at me with his powerful eyes. They feel like arrows that go directly into my heart, reading everything there is to know about me.

“Because of who I am! I am not what people want!” I say.

“And is that a problem?” he asks again.

“Yes! When they realise I am not who they expect, they’ll abandon me!”

“Are you sure?”

“I… I…”

“What if they accept you? Flaws and all. The good, the bad, the weird, everything. What if they love you for who you truly are?” Rafael says with a serious tone.

“And what if they will not?” I ask him back.

“Fear…”

“What?” I ask confused.

“You allow your fear to corrupt your view of the world until you don’t see what is actually there.” he answers.

“I don’t!” I say.

“Yes, you do! The people who love you will always be by your side! Because they love who you are! Whoever that is! So… Who are you?” he asks.

I look at the river, thinking. Is this a trick question? No. Rafael doesn’t do those. I don’t know what to say.

“I am Noah!” I say.

“And who is Noah?” he asks again.

I look at him.

“What makes you different from everyone else?”

I hesitate.

“Noah… By pretending to be someone you’re not. By not accepting who you are. By living in fear. That is really how you’ll lose people.”

I finally understand.

“I am Noah… A clumsy, kind boy, who wants to help people! I love art and music! I love stargazing! I have messy hair! I want to be a vet! I love to make people happy!  And I love you!” I say, surprising myself.

“There it is! This is who you really are!” Rafael says while smiling.

“But what if people will not accept me for who I am?” I ask.

“They will! And if they won’t, then they never really cared about you, so neither should you.”

He walks towards me and grabs my hand. He looks directly into my eyes. The moon is out, and the rain gently falls around us. Northern Lights start appearing in the sky. We look at them in awe. Rafael looks at me again.

“So… Do you know who you are?” he asks.

“I think.” I say.

He smiles, then says:

“Come! Let’s swim a bit!” he says.

“What?!” I ask confused.

“Trust me!” he says and then we walk towards the river, which starts to glow.

We enter the water, but, instead of floating, we walk on the bottom of the river. I can’t breathe.

“In order to beat your fears, you must face them!” he says.

“I will drown!” I manage to say.

“No, you won’t! Let go of your fear! Remind yourself that you are okay!” he says.

I look scared at him, then, I close my eyes. I calm down and take a deep breath. A breath?! I open my eyes shocked and see that I can breathe! He was right. Rafael smiles at me. The two of us continue to walk. I can see shells and fish all around me. They look beautiful. A colourful fish comes to me. He looks like a rainbow. At first, I try to avoid him, but then, I see Rafael. He nudges me towards it. I get closer to the fish and pet him. Its scales are soft. He looks happy. He swims around me, and I look in amazement as he goes towards the surface. Raf smiles at me, and, while holding my hand, moves onward. I don’t know how to explain it, but the water now seemed to be a lighter shade of blue. In front of us, a few cloaked figures approach. They remove their hoods. It is my family and Selena. I look away in fear. They look angry and disappointed. I look at myself. I am dirty!

“No! Your fear is clouding your view! Look again!” Rafael says.

I do. Now, they look proud and happy. I approach them with Rafael, and they hug us.

“We’re so proud of you, Noah!” my grandmother says.

I smile. They let go of us, and then, they also go towards the surface. Now, it’s only me and Rafael at the bottom. I look at him. He smiles at me.

“Want to dance?” he asks.

“I don’t know how to dance.” I say embarrassed.

“No problem! I can teach you! First, you put your hand on my shoulder, then the other here!” he says and places my hands in position. “Now we just move! Move the way you feel like it makes you happy!” he says.

I do as he instructed and start dancing. The two of us laugh and smile. Suddenly, we start to float towards the surface. The water looks lighter than ever, and I feel lighter than ever as well. The two of us continue to dance, till we reach the surface. When we do, we lay in the water and look at the sky. It looks beautiful. The moonlit rain glows and falls toward us. I look at Rafael. His hair is in all directions. He looks so silly. I realise mine looks the same. But I don’t care.

“So… Are you still afraid? Of being alone? Of the exam? Of who you are? Of how you look?” Rafael asks while looking at the sky.

I also gaze at the beautiful stars above.

“No!” I say, surprised by my words.

“Are you afraid of me?” he asks again.

“No!” I say again.

“Then you are ready!” he says and smiles.

I smile as well. A single tear falls from my eyes. I finally feel like I am ready! To be who I really am! I stand up. The water feels like solid ground under my feet. Rafael stands up as well. The forest around us starts to disappear until only the river and the two of us remain. Suddenly, a mountain, surrounded by light, appears at the end of the river.

“Goodbye!” I tell Raf and he smiles kindly.

I start to run towards the magical mountain, stars floating all around me. Splashes of cold water hit my face, but I don’t care as I run faster than ever before. Freer than ever before. Happier than ever before.

As I reach the mountain, the light surrounding it becomes stronger, and stronger, until I am fully surrounded by it.

*

I wake up. The rain stopped. Now, the sun is out. The whole forest is gleaming in the sunlight. I smile and get up. My clothes start to dry. Happily, I look around. I feel happier than ever! I start making my way back to school. But, at the edge of the forest, I find a very concerned Rafael. He sees me and runs towards me. He hugs me. I can see that he has tears in his eyes.

“I looked all over for you! I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t…” he begins, but I stop him.

“You said exactly what I needed to hear. Your words forced me to finally confront my fears.” I say calmly.

He looks surprised at me.

“But you were so sad!” he manages to say.

“Yes! I was. But not anymore!”

I hug him tighter.

“Thank you!” I say.

“For what?” he asks confused.

“For being by my side when I need you!” I say.

“No problem!” he says and smiles.

After we stop hugging, we laugh together. I look at the tree behind him.

“Hey! Watch this!” I say and start climbing.

“Whoa! Aren’t you scared?” he asks.

“Nope!” I say happily and climb further.

After a bit, I look at him. He looks so small from up here. A few birds fly by me, and the cold wind moves through the trees creating a melody of nature. I take a cone from the tree and then I climb back down. When I am at the base of the tree, I ask:

“Do you think you can catch me?”

“Yes!” Raf answers and gets ready.

“I’ll jump now! Catch!” I say and I jump.

He catches me. Not that it was hard from half a meter.

“Wow! Didn’t think you had it in you!” he says.

“Neither did I! Here! I got this for you!” I say and give him the cone.

Rafael takes it and admires it, then puts it in his pocket with a warm smile.

“Let’s do something else! Let’s dance!” I say happily.

“What?! But I thought you didn’t know how to dance!” he says.

“Well, you could teach me!” I say with a smile.

He grins and begins to teach me. We dance happily together. I even do a pirouette.

“Wow! I didn’t teach you that!” he says impressed.

“Improvised!” I say.

“It looked so cool! Do it again!”

Laughing, I do it again. After a bit, we decide that we should return to school and start making our way back.

“I never knew about this side of you!” he says.

“Do you like it?” I ask nervously.

“Yes! It’s awesome!” he says.

I smile.

“Thanks!”

We pass my home.

“Wait! Let me get the watch!” I say and dash inside.

After a bit, I come back. Rafael laughs and smiles at me while I get out, now, with the watch on my wrist. I lovingly ruffle his hair. Joking around, we make it to school. When we enter, Selena smiles at us. We missed physics class, but I’m not that big of a fan, so no worries.

“Hi! Again!” I say.

“Hi!” Selena greets us.

“Congratulations on beating your fear!” Rafael says and lovingly ruffles my hair.

“Hey!” I say in protest, but I actually like it.

Selena looks at us.

“Hey! You did it first!” he says.

“That’s true!” I admit.

“He is ready… He just needs one final push.” She whispers to herself.

“Did you say something, Selena?” I ask curiously.

“No, I was thinking about a physics problem.”

“Oh, ok!” I say, then I return to goofing around with Rafael.

Later that day, after school, we went back to the boat. Rafael and I brought the supplies we needed, and Selena actually completed the motor in Japan. Her grandparents are good mechanics, so they helped her. Rafael starts to fix the ship and I help him in whatever way I can. It is so nice. We hum Moonlit Rain together. We now always hum it when we work together. It’s kind of our thing. It’s weird, but I like it! Selena looks at the two of us. I don’t know what she’s up to, but I can tell she is making a plan. When we take a break, she takes me away from Rafael, saying she needs my opinion on something

“So, what is it?” I ask curiously.

“Let the opinion thing go. That was just an excuse. I want to talk to you about Rafael.”

“You do?” I ask confused.

“Yes. I see you love him, but are too afraid to tell him.”

“Selena!” I say, amused by the situation.

“If you’re afraid if he likes you back, believe me, he does! You two are inseparable!” she says seriously.

“Selena!” I say again and this time she listens. “I am ready to accept being gay. Before I wasn’t. I felt like the whole society would turn against me. But then I realised that by trying to ignore this part of me, I was hurting myself more than anyone else ever could. Actually, I thought if I wasn’t perfect, everyone would turn against me!”

“So you’re really ready?” she asks.

“Yes!” I say, finally confident.

She is so happy that tears appear in her eyes. I wipe them away and smile. She pushes me towards the clearing, with a big smile on her face. Confident, I go towards Rafael. Selena leans on a tree and wipes more tears from her face.

“I’m proud of you!” she whispers.

I go to where Rafael sits. I sit down next to him. He is looking at the river. I look around and pick up a few flowers. I take a deep breath, then tap his shoulder. He turns to me, with a confused expression on his face. Then he sees the flowers. He starts to blush and looks me in the eyes. I’m nervous, but I am brave now! I can do it!

“Rafael, ever since I met you, I felt only happiness. You are such an amazing person! So kind and gentle, and I love you for that! Will you be my boyfriend?” I ask.

A single tear falls from his eyes, then he throws himself at me. We kiss. It is so magical. So beautiful.

We both hug and then we roll through the flowers while laughing. I end up on top of him. He kisses me again on the forehead. My hair is a mess, but I don’t care. I am now happier than I ever was. Selena looks at us with a smile. Me and Rafael, while holding hands, we go back to fixing the boat. Selena takes the camera she always carries around and takes a picture.

“Now this is something I want to remember!” she whispers to herself again.