As he watched Lom leave, Fah felt a lump in his throat. Out of the corner of his eye, a familiar face caught his attention. 

“Manao, over here." He waved at her as she picked up her order and joined him. 

“Well, if it isn’t the heartbreaker,” teased Manao.

“I’m not a heartbreaker, far from it.”

“Are you sure?” she asked pointedly. “How was last night with Thanwa?”

“It was nice,” he said, turning crimson.

“Nice never made anyone blush like that! I’ve waited patiently all night. I didn’t even call or text you for details when I woke up.” Manao batted her eyelashes and gave him her best puppy dog expression.

“You couldn't call or text, I don’t have a cell phone.”

“That’s another reason I didn’t,” she giggled.

“Thanwa is…”

“If you say nice, I will smack you.”

“Hot! So hot! He’s kind, understanding, and knows how to please a man in bed.”

“Are you going to see him again?” Manao was happy her friend was smiling again.

“I'm not sure. He gave me his number.”

“So he’s interested in you.”

“Yeah, but…”

“But?” Fah remained quiet. “Is it because of Lom?” Fah nodded. “Do you still love him?”

“Don’t be angry with me but yes. I never stopped loving him.”

“Why would I be angry? Your feelings are your feelings, there’s no right or wrong.”

“My brother doesn’t want me with him,” said Fah.

“Hey, don’t worry about what Run or anyone else thinks, it’s up to you and only you. By the way, I need to apologize to Lom.”

“Why?”

“Last night after you and Thanwa went into the hotel Lom was devastated, he wanted to stop you. Run, Mek, and I blocked his way. Your brother threatened to tell Ton where Lom was if he didn’t leave you alone.” 

“Why would he say that? He knows I would never forgive him if he put Lom’s life in danger!”

“I’m not saying Run is right to think how he does, but try to understand us. For the past two years, we’ve watched you spend every day in such extreme sadness. You were barely living. Now that you’re returning to your old self, we were afraid Lom would hurt you and turn you back into a zombie. 

“It wasn’t Lom’s fault! We were both victims. Lom went through the same thing, but none of us saw it.”

“Finding him with a boyfriend doesn’t sound like it,” Manao pointed out.

“Somchai went to school with us. Back then Lom lost his virginity to him. He’s also the one who found Lom alongside the road and nursed him back to health,” said Fah.

“Why are you defending him now when last night you were so angry?”

“Because I’ve had time to think. Also, we spoke.”

“You and Lom?” said Manao. She leaned forward and asked, “When?”

“This morning. We had breakfast together.”

“In the hotel? Where was Thanwa?” 

“After Thanwa left I came here for coffee. Lom was already here and asked me to join him.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He smiled at Manao, realizing he meant it.

“What did the two of you decide to do?” Manao’s curiosity was killing her. 

“We didn’t talk about that.” 

“Didn’t he try to get back together?” 

“He asked if I’d see him again and I said I didn’t know. He told me to take care of myself and he left.”

“Wow.” Manao's raised her eyebrows and asked, “He wasn’t pushy?”

“No. Why? Do you think that means he doesn’t love me anymore?” Fah unconsciously bit his lip as he went over it in his mind.

“No, not at all. Last night he was visibly heartbroken.”

“Maybe over Somchai,” said Fah.

“Not over Somchai. Although it was obvious he didn’t want to hurt Somchai either.”

“Somchai kicked him out and they broke up.” Fah hated to admit he was happy about this.

“Really? I’m not surprised. So he’s single and he didn’t push you to date him?” Manao wished she’d been there. Fah wasn’t always the best when it came to reading between the lines.

“No. Usually, he never gives up.” Although Fah wasn’t sure if he was ready, the fact Lom hadn’t pushed for a relationship hurt his feelings.

“Uh-oh,” said Manao, looking at him with a guilty expression.

“Uh-oh, what?”

“Last night, Mek, Run and I told him to leave. I begged him to let you go.” Fah scowled at her but said nothing. “I’m sorry. We said if he truly loved you he’d leave you alone.” Fah appeared stricken at this point. “Maybe he loves you so much that’s what he’s doing,” said Manao in an upbeat tone.

“Can you call him and find out? Call him right now?” Fah’s throat felt as if it were closing and his chest was so tight he could barely breathe. 

“I doubt he'd pick up if I called. Last night he said it was obvious we were your friends and not his. Also, I don’t have his new phone number.”

“Oh no, what have I done? Poor Lom. His father wants him dead, I went off with Thanwa, you guys made him believe he has no friends, Somchai kicked him out, he’s homeless, and I said I wasn't sure if I’d ever see him again.” Fah felt as if he might faint. “I need to speak with him. How can I do that?” He turned to Manao for answers.

“I hate to say it but you might need to ask Somchai how to reach him.”

“I don’t have any idea how to get in touch with Somchai either." Fah closed his eyes and thought for a minute. He opened his eyes and said, "He headed toward the hotel when he left. Did he check in there?”

“We can ask at the front desk,” said Manao.

Several minutes later they found themselves speaking with the front desk staff. The man they dealt with verified Lom was a guest at the hotel but said he couldn’t give them any further information. 

“Would you call him, please? We had breakfast together and I think I may have dropped something into his bag,” said Fah. The receptionist called Lom, relayed the message, and then hung up.

“I’m sorry sir, but Mr. Seatang apologized and said he doesn’t have anything of yours.”

Fah was once again shocked Lom hadn't seized the opportunity to speak with him. Either Lom no longer loved him or he'd hurt him deeply, he wasn't sure which.

“I’m so sorry, ​but would you please call him again and ask if it would be okay for Fah to come make sure?” He hoped Lom wasn’t about to humiliate him. Once again the receptionist made the call and then hung up.

“Mr. Saetang said you may go up. He’s in room 415.” Fah smiled, made a wai, and headed to the elevator. 

“Manao, do I look alright?” 

“You look the same way you did when you had breakfast with him, you’ll be fine.”

“Should you come with me? In case he thinks I’m there to fight?”

Manao laughed. “Fah, I think Lom can protect himself in this situation. Go.” Fah stepped into the elevator and waved goodbye as the doors shut. 

Stepping onto the fourth floor hall he headed towards room 415. He knocked gently, still unsure of what to say. Lom answered the door wearing only a tee shirt and boxers. His head peaked out as he hid most of his body behind the door. Looking at Fah he said nothing.

“I…I thought you were going house hunting,” Fah said.

“If you thought that then why did you come here?” Lom didn't move or open the door.

“May I come in?” For the first time, Fah worried what his reply to this might be. 

“Oh, yeah, sure, sorry. Come in,” he said as he stepped back and opened the door farther. He grabbed the desk chair and pulled it out for Fah. Sitting on the edge of the bed he folded his arms with a quizzical expression on his face. “What’s up?” 

“I don’t know.” It was the most honest thing he could say and pertained to almost any question Lom might ask. An awkward silence ensued as the two stared at each other. Their gazes held neither friendship nor anger; they were both merely observing the other.

Fah broke the silence. “I’m sorry about what they said to you last night. Manao told me earlier. She wants to apologize to you. Me too, I had no idea they’d act that way toward you.”

“It’s okay.” 

“No, it’s not. Run should never have threatened you and I’ll talk to him.” 

“It’s okay. He’s your brother and he wants to protect you. He doesn’t want me to hurt you anymore.”

“But you didn’t hurt me. Ton’s men did.”

“I know,” said Lom.

“So…”

“So what? We both believed the other was dead. I should have verified it before I agreed to date Somchai. My failure to verify your death resulted in hurting him as well.” Lom looked down at his arms. He couldn’t understand why Fah wanted to draw this out. If it were to punish him, he’d accept it, he felt he owed Fah that at least. 

“But you never did check it out.”

“No.”

“Neither did I,” said Fah in a conspiratorial tone. Lom noticed his lopsided smile.

“Fah, what do you want from me?”

“I’m not sure,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Do you still love me?” It was the only time he’d heard fear in Lom’s voice.

“Yes. Do you still love me?” Now it was Fah’s turn to be scared. 

“Yeah. Do you want to get back together?” Lom looked down immediately after asking this, resigned to the knowledge that there was no way they could begin again. Inside he knew he had only himself to blame. Fah remained silent. “Okay, it’s fine. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot, silence means no.”

“Not necessarily…”

“You do?” asked Lom. Fah noticed the hopeful tone in his voice and cursed himself.

“I don’t know.”

“Oh. Okay. Fah, please don’t take this the wrong way but I can’t deal with anything else. Last night I discovered my dead lover was alive. I hurt the one person who helped me, so badly that he kicked me out. I watched the man I love check into a hotel with a stranger, come out, and tell me he had a wonderful night."

"Sorry," said Fah. 

"People I thought were my friends told me they weren’t. I have no home, my father will kill me if he finds out I’m alive, and Run is threatening to send him my location. Being able to tell you I love you was something I thought I'd never have the chance to do. For that I'm grateful.  You don’t know if you want to date me. I understand you were hurt; so was I. A lot.” Lom paused as if trying to choose his next words carefully.

Lom continued, "Would you please let me sleep before I have to deal with all of this? I woke up early to speak with you before you left the area. If you don’t want to date me it’s easier not to be around you.” Lom walked to the door and opened it. “You can go now.”

“How will I reach you?” asked Fah, astonished by Lom’s reaction. 

“No idea,” said Lom, rubbing his forehead. “Sorry, but I have a migraine, I need to lie down.”

“May I take a nap with you?” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” said Lom.

“Maybe it’s not, but I’m tired too and I’d rather be here than face a million questions from everyone else.” 

“You want me to help you avoid questions about your one-night stand?” Lom shook his head and sat down on the bed. He put a body-length bolster between them, then rolled on his side facing away. "Goodnight.” In seconds he was sound asleep.

Fah lay on his side facing Lom. “Sweet dreams,” he whispered. 

Watching Lom sleep he began to notice things that had escaped him that day and the night before. Lom had scars along the side of his face near his ear and his hairline. The back of his neck had a long scar where he’d had stitches. 

Using his hand to lightly pull Lom’s shirt up in the back he saw the scars of a very large and deep injury. Remembering the pictures he’d been sent he now realized the seriousness of the physical wounds Lom had received. He remembered Lom mentioned needing physical therapy to walk again.

Had everyone been so busy worrying about his feelings that they’d dismissed everything that Lom had suffered? Using his finger he traced the huge scar, wishing Lom had never endured what he had. Removing the bolster he spooned Lom and put his arm around him. Several minutes later he too was asleep.