I didn’t remember much about my childhood. And most things I did, I tried my best to forget.

Yet in that moment, there was one memory that kept coming back to me. Again and again, as if my body was trying to prove a point.

I was a small child back then. My father had taken me to a parade. I remember how impressed I was by all those vibrant colors and the live music. Yet what caught my eyes in the crowd was not the armored knights or the marching band.

It was the man standing right next to me.

He laughed at my question. With his arms crossed, his biceps were almost bigger than my face.

To this day I’m not sure if he was surprised by my ingenuity or if he was simply trying to muse me.

For some reason, I never forgot the feeling of his finger as it touched my head and chest. It was barely a touch, one that didn’t even linger for long. And though he never said it directly, even my child self understood the meaning behind his words.

Yet as sweat dripped down my chin, my lungs fighting for breath, all I wanted to do was find that man again and beat him to death for being such a liar.

“What are you doing right now?”

A chill ran down my spine.

“I-I was just catching my breath—”

Emrys' gaze felt like a bloodied knife ready to carve a hole in my head.

“Are you so lax with time you are giving yourself breaks now? Am I hearing it right?”

“N-no, of course not. I’m getting back to it.”

The boy's expression did not change. He did not even blink, the air around him carrying a stench of death and doom.

This version of Emrys was scary.

The green-haired boy stared at me with contempt, and even if I was taller than him, it was as if I was crawling at his feet.

“You spent years in your cozy room giving us orders left and right, sitting in your chair without a care in the world. I’m sure you can hear your body crying now.”

For the past half hour, Emrys was watching me do push-ups, toe taps, and other exercises. That, after running two laps around the training ground.

I risked stealing a glance of the younger boy, raising my shirt to dry some of my sweat. And I immediately put my shirt down.

I had never noticed before, due to the clothes he wore, yet Emrys’ body was not only in excellent shape—

It reminded me of the man I met at the parade.

Though his muscles were not as bulging and obvious, I could finally see their lines under the thin linen shirt. I had a feeling if Emrys and I took off our shirts, I would cry in shame.

As I fought for breath, I looked down at my body. My muscles aching, my lungs screaming. I had one current problem—one current urgent problem.

My shape.

Not only did I lack the stamina and energy to ride for long periods, I did not have the strength to stay mounted in a dragon—not even to take flight.

“You need to strengthen your core. Your lower back and abdomen are what keep you balanced and stable, yet you also need to train your arms and shoulders. Riding a dragon it’s not the same as riding a horse.”

“I never rode a horse—”

Emrys' face came inches from mine. “Oh, it’s been noticed. Do not worry.”

I swallowed the rest of my words, averting his chilling gaze.

Our dilemma was that I didn’t have time to improve my physical condition and learn how to ride.

“The order will be delivered in one week. You have one week to improve your physical condition so you can consume the potions without dying pitifully.”

My lungs burned as I still tried to catch my breath. 

“Yes, I know, which is why—“

“If you know, then why did you stop? I guess you don’t mind dying after all, huh?” His face got even closer to mine.

It was devoid of any trace of humanity.

“If you are aching for death so much, just say the word. I will gladly send the great Jackal to the other side.”

Somehow, I was able to speak. “…I will go back to it, now.”

“Good.”

From a tree, I could sense the cold stare of Styx. The dragon’s gaze had such intensity, I was unsure if he was looking down on me or was merely amused by how much effort I was putting in just so I could mount him. 

The order we would receive came from an old sponsor. Emrys had reached out to them, and even paid with his own money—even though I insisted there was no need for him to do such a thing. Although the person made a lower price for Emrys, it was still very expensive.

It was a pack of enhancement potions, after all.

Since they had a higher purity and quality, their value was insanely high. Potions were extremely hard to craft, after all. It was not only challenging to find a good alchemist, it was even more arduous to find an alchemist who specialized in potion crafting. 

Potions were not miracle workings, yet they did provide a lot of benefits when used well. Most potion crafters were sought by physicians and nobles.

A potion could not make one immortal or younger, yet it could shorten the time of a few things. 

A good enhancement potion could improve muscle gain and stamina almost fivefold, and considering the short amount of time I had…

It was not only desirable; it was necessary for my success.

As the hours went by, before my body collapsed and rotted away, Emrys took pity on me and gave me a fifteen-minute break. As I laid down on the grass, staring at the sky, Jackal’s former ace came to sit by my side.

Carrying a plate with sandwiches, and a jar of juice.

Though I barely had any strength left in my body, I sat down and started to eat. And for a long time, neither of us said anything.

“…I heard Nikke became the number one ringleader.”

After a long pause, I replied.

“It would be weird if he hadn’t. There’s no one else that could’ve taken my place.”

“Fredo climbed up to fourth place, and Lor quit.”

I stopped in my tracks, a sudden nausea washing over me.

“Where did you hear this from?”

“King. We still contact each other, from time to time. She’s with Nikke now.”

Angus promised me he would take care of my riders, so that didn’t surprise me. However, there was a reason why Fredo never climbed higher than the seventh place. That was the limit of their talents.

On the other hand, Lor’s reason for never climbing to third or second place was another thing entirely.

Laziness.

Lor was as cunning and smart as Nikke. Which never surprised me, considering she was Angus’ twin sister. Yet where Angus enjoyed his status and living like a king, Lor…did just enough to get her fancy hobbies, I supposed.

Without putting much effort, she established herself as the fourth place for years. Never went lower or higher, never worked more or less. She only ever did the bare minimum and still was the fourth-ranked ringmaster. 

Yet even if Lor quit being a ringmaster because of something Nikke said, it still didn’t make sense for Fredo to climb to her position. 

No sense at all.

The mysterious voice on the radio echoed in my mind, their words stuffed with mockery. With a sadistic pleasure to see me squirm and struggle.

I finished eating my food and gulped down the juice. When I stood up, my entire body was screeching in pain.

“I’m living as Vex now, so those don’t concern me anymore. Thanks for telling me, though.”

Emrys remained silent for a few more moments before standing up as well, his gaze lacking a bit of its usual coldness.

“Run two more laps, and you should be done for the day. More than that and you might actually die.”

As the boy turned his back and walked away, I found Styx eying me again. As I stared back, I could feel my heart racing. Not from fear or exercising too much, but excitement. 

A wild kind of hope.