Levi was having a pleasant morning, sipping his tea on the deck. He was usually the second one to wake up, topped only by Fitnessa who preferred to run in the mornings. 

He enjoyed tea, preferably the floral ones that reminded him of forests and gardens. 

On most days his tea would calm him, and prepare him for the day. Yet, he was disturbed by what content he would make that day. All his ideas were long, winding roads that lead to dead ends.

He would think of an idea, do quick research on his phone, then quickly shut it down.

He decided that maybe breakfast would help him settle into something. He prepared a cream cheese sandwich quickly. It definitely wasn’t the most refined dish, but it worked.

He sat down to eat, but was immediately interrupted by Caleb, who seemed relatively chipper for an anti-morning person. 

“Levi! Whatcha eating?” 

“A sandwich I made.”

“Well, I’m gonna stream today! Wish me luck in the tournament!” 

The pit in Levi’s stomach sank deeper. He tried to get into that tournament, but his brain told him he would suck. It would be embarrassing if he dragged down his team. 

“Good luck, man” 

Caleb noisily stomped out of the kitchen, and made his way to his room to start streaming. 

How was Caleb so calm? He was about to stream to so many people and compete at a game. 

Well, Caleb was actually good at the game. Levi sucked at games. He couldn’t do anything the others in the house were doing. 

Now, they had pure talent. 

How has he gotten this far? Why were the others so successful? 

He went back to his room, and threw himself into the chair. He brushed his hands through his hair and repeatedly clicked through his computer. There was nothing he could make. 

Maybe Levi should ask someone to collaborate? But that’s pathetic! He’s living in this house with all of these accomplished people, and yet he still can’t make his own content. 

Levi came up with so many ideas, and yet half of them involved other people and the other half diverted from his usual content. He built walls in his mind, suffocating his creativity and strangling himself. 

He shut off his computer, and walked into the living room. There, Caleb and X were talking. 

They seemed to be whispering something to one another, but they stopped as Levi approached. 

“Hey X. Hey Caleb” Levi gave them a normal greeting and slumped into the couch. 

“Sup Aqua. How’s it going?” Caleb asked curiously. He reminded Levi of a cat sometimes. So mischievous. 

“Not great. I can’t think of any content ideas. Actually, this is awkward but would you like to-“

“X and I were going to go out for lunch. We assumed it wouldn’t be your thing, though. You hate crowded places anyways, right?” 

“Yeah. See you later then, I guess.” Levi said. He stood from his position and stumbled back to his room. 

He was quite quiet at times, but he enjoyed spending time with his friends. Sure, social anxiety could be a real bummer, but he should go out there and experience the real world sometimes, shouldn’t he? 

He noticed the tears beginning to well up in his eyes. They spilled out like a tsunami. 

What was so wrong with him? Why was he broken? Everyone else was able to function like they had no problems, so why was he panicking? He should be ok. 

The scar on his forearm is more apparent. He should feel fine but he doesn’t. 

He decides to go outside. The cold air would cuddle him and freeze his tears. 

He walks up the stairs and lies down, his back against the flat rooftop deck of the building they lived in. They hardly ever used it. He should be alone up there. 

To his surprise, he heard the soft, sweet voice of Cherri, “You ok, Levi?” 

He turned over so he could curl into a ball. He was supposed to be the one to comfort people, not the other way around. 

Cherri was sitting on the edge of the roof, without anything to cover her face. She swung her legs over back onto the deck, and sat near the curled up Levi. 

She pulled his head into her lap and started stroking his hair. 

“Why are you up here?” She asked, her voice gentle. 

“I don’t know. I just- I couldn’t do anything today. I didn’t record- I couldn’t even come up with a single good idea” 

“It’s ok. Today was- it was just a break for you. You can always leave it for now and come up with something later” 

“No! No that’s not the problem” Levi sat up quickly. 

Cherri stood and walked to the front of him so they could face one another. “What is it then?”

“I’m broken, Cher. Everyone here is so… incredible. Everyone’s so entertaining and I just— I’m too quiet. I don’t talk enough”

“So what? Are you going to change your content to be all loud like Caleb’s?” 

“Maybe?”

“Do you want to make content.. like that? Do you not like the content you make now?”

“Yeah but it’s… it’s boring! I could get so many more viewers if I-“

“If you enjoy making videos similar to what you’ve made in the past, then keep doing it. There will be an audience for it” 

“But I’m so… quiet” 

“So am I, Levi”

Levi moved to be near the edge of the deck, and he sat near where Cherri was sitting. Cherri sits back in her original spot. 

“You don’t have to change for anyone, Levi. Do what is most fulfilling for you, and the viewers will see your happiness”

Levi holds Cherri’s hand, and gazes at the stars. 

“What were you doing up here, Cherri?”

“Looking at the stars. I like to imagine that the stars are little windows into heaven. That each one is an angel looking down on us”

“That’s very poetic” 

“It’s comforting. There’s always someone looking out for you. I mean, with all the people that have died in the world, everyone must have, like, 20 guardian angels” 

“You must have a lot of time to think if you come up with something like that”

“Well I get bored Levi! Not everyone is perfect!” 

They laugh and joke together. Sure the day was useless, but Levi has so many days left that one day was a minuscule waste of time. Besides, it felt necessary for him.