The orderly din of the hunters clearing up the rest of the mess was faint behind my focus on Glenn. Every nerve felt on edge as I glared at him for a moment, waiting for him to speak- to give me any kind of excuse for why he hadn’t protected me. If Riley had been able to reach me in time, there was no way Glenn- a damage dealer with a ranged weapon- wouldn’t have been able to take out that voidborn before it jumped me.

The only possible explanation was one I truly didn’t want to hear… that he had either forgotten I was waiting for him, or had deemed me unimportant.

His silence spoke for itself, and I cursed under my breath as I turned away from him. I made it three steps before my decision seemed to finally spark Glenn into action. His fingers caught around the wrist of the arm Irie had just healed, and I hissed with pain as dull throbs shot up from his tight grip.

My teeth were bared as I whirled on Glenn, heat high in my face. “Are you fucking kidding me? Let me go!” I snapped, bracing myself for the aching pain as I yanked my hand free.

Glenn winced at my muffled grunt of anguish, his handsome face creasing with sympathy and guilt. “Van, look…” he sighed, his deep brown eyes wide and pleading as he looked at me. Glenn raked his messy blonde hair away from his face, his fingers pulling through matts of blood and foul voidborn viscera. “You know what dungeon breaks are like. You could have stayed home if you couldn’t handle it-”

“You asked me to come here!” Indignant anger raised my voice, my hand smacking at Glenn’s chest as I stepped up to him. Normally I was wary of public perception, conscious of the gazes that flicked to us as I shouted- but I was too overwhelmed by Glenn’s callous disregard to care. “Don’t you remember how you begged me to come with you? You said you were at your limit, and you wouldn’t be able to make it home to me?”

“Van, stop-” Glenn’s eyes shot to the other hunters, his hands raised defensively, but I didn’t let him finish.

“If anybody can’t handle this, it’s you!” The words hit him like a physical blow, and I almost felt bad for the man as his gaze fell, his face growing pale. I gathered my anger to burn away the moment of doubt, thrusting my finger against his chest to punctuate my words. “You were the desperate one. You are the one who said you were worried about your recoil-”

“Sullivan!” Panic filled Glenn’s voice as his hand quickly covered my mouth. The urgent motion pushed me back a step, my eyes widening over the press of his fingers. It calmed my fury as his gaze searched over those close enough to hear my shouting.

A chill ran through me as I realized why he was worried, and the anger abruptly drained out of me. I had almost made a terrible mistake in my infuriated rant. My stomach churned, my hands slowly falling to my sides.

Glenn must have felt me relax, his gaze snapping back to me. There was a silent question in his eyes as he looked at me; when I nodded slightly, he lowered his hand. “Come with me,” he muttered, his hand gripping my wrist again- gentler, this time, and careful to take hold of the arm that hadn’t been injured.

I followed Glenn meekly as he tugged me off the street, out of view of those who had been watching our drama from the corners of their eyes. He drew me into an alley, glancing around again before he ducked under the shadows of the buildings with me.

Turning to face me, I found my back against the dirty wall as Glenn framed me with his hands on either side of my head. “You have to be careful,” he said, a deep concern in his voice. It should have sounded threatening- but I knew he meant well, this time.

I groaned, my head falling back against the wall. Though I could feel his entreating gaze burn into me, I couldn’t look at him as I said, “I know, I just…” I drew in a deep breath, letting it out on a weary sigh, “I think it’s time for me to move on, Glenn.”

He was so close I felt him tense, his Glenn’s fingers curling against the stone. When he bowed his head, it put his lips close to my ear. “Do you really mean that? I thought we had a good thing.”

“We talked about this when I moved in with you,” I said, a warning tone in my voice as I gently pushed him back. It was something I was always clear about when I shacked up with a hunter; I offered my companionship, my services… but I could never stay long. It was only a matter of time before we would draw attention.

Glenn was silent for a moment, his brow furrowed and his gaze focused on the ground between my feet. “Okay,” he finally grumbled. But he didn’t move out of my way, shuffling his feet like a nervous kid as he looked up at me through his thick lashes. 

I groaned again, narrowing my eyes at him. “Just ask.”

A smile pulled at his lips, and in the moment, I could remember why I had first been so drawn to him. It may have been a sort of blind date, a recommendation from my last partner, but it had been Glenn’s earnest charm that had won me over. “Will you help me one last time, before you leave me?”

Part of me wanted to deny him- to make him suffer for the pain I had endured when the voidborn attacked me. I wasn’t petty enough for that, sighing as I held my hands out. Glenn eagerly reached forward, twining our fingers together. I stepped into him, my stomach flipping at his nearness as he bowed his head so his forehead met mine, and his warm breath washed against my face. 

My fingers tightened over Glenn’s hands as I closed my eyes. Since the system had sprang to life, it was the one time I found peace: in the silence of darkness. Drawing in a slow breath, I opened myself to the shadow… to the void. And in that unending dim, I found what I was looking for- a cavernous yearning, a monstrous hunger that always took my breath away.

At first it had scared me, a desire to consume that felt animal and strange. But I had come to understand the feeling, and it struck a chord deep in my heart, one I would never admit allowed; it reminded me of the yearning that filled me when I returned home after every long day, dreaming idly of a life where I didn’t have to submit to the machine of society.

I allowed it to overtake me, letting my breath out on a shuddering exhale. Glenn huffed out, a soft whimper of pain under the sound as my fingertips dug into the backs of his hands. I could feel him, the power of a constellation burning brightly inside him- and the darkness that crept in at its edges, striving to overtake the light. It was the recoil, the penalty every hunter paid for their incredible power.

Most hunters were slaves to the recoil. Their penalties were different, but they all suffered when they used their power too often, and the recoil overwhelmed them. Glenn was a ranged hunter; when the recoil took him, I knew he would lose his eyesight, swallowed in the darkness that engulfed the power the system had gifted him. It should have been inevitable… and it was the reason why he had been so desperate to have me with him outside of the dungeon when he was already so close to succumbing.

The hunger in me craved the brilliant light of the constellations- and it would take the recoil with it, as I released my control and allowed the dark yearning to reach into Glenn. I felt him tremble, his palms cool and sweaty against mine as I dragged at his very core. I had done this many times, for many different hunters- but it was never enough, and my hunger only seemed to grow worse each time it was left unsatiated.

I felt the moment it began to change, dark desire pulling at my thoughts; I snatched my hands away from Glenn before the craving could push me to take more than he could withstand. It still left him shaken, his breaths panting and uneven, Glenn’s face pale. Sweat dampened his hair over his forehead, exhaustion tainting his expression- but he still smiled at me, earnest as he murmured, “Thank you.”

The gratitude put a bitter taste in the back of my throat. It was difficult to pull away from him, stepping toward the mouth of the alley as I forced out the words, “Don’t contact me again.”

Sorrow overtook his handsome face, but we both knew it was for the best. Whatever hunger had been awakened in me with the introduction of the constellation’s system, the power they had given me- this ‘null’ wanted to consume anything it touched. It took more than the recoil; if the hunters and their guilds realized I was capable of rendering their abilities useless, however temporary… I hated to even imagine the consequences.

It made my time with each hunter limited- always aware that it would become obvious when they no longer suffered due to the recoil. I had lasted longer with Glenn than usual- but it was still better, safer to walk away… no matter how much it hurt.

“Van?” His voice called to me, making me pause at the edge of the street. Looking back over my shoulder, I found him staring at me, wounded and soft yearning. “The card I gave you…”

I tensed, teeth gritted. There wasn’t a feasible way for me to earn money in the world now that the constellations had overtaken it; the hunters ruled everything, and it would be too much of a risk to put myself in a place hunters gathered. “I can give it back-”

“No,” Glenn said quickly, shaking his head. “I won’t fill it again, but you can use the funds you have left. Get yourself a place to stay. And I’ll… try to help find another hunter you can trust to take care of you.”

Something softened in me; despite how valiantly I tried to harden my heart, there was affection in my voice as I said, “Thanks, Glenn. Stay safe out there.”

“You too, Van.”

Glenn’s soft words chased me out of the alley, my steps hurried across the pavement of the street as I headed away from where the dungeon had opened. I knew Glenn would have to help the hunters clean up the rest of the mess; it would give me time to get to his apartment and clean myself up… to gather my things, and leave his key on the counter.

It was a familiar ritual, one that got harder every time I had to leave another hunter. I didn’t know how long it would sustain me, how much longer my heart could take it. All I knew was that it was time to find another hunter… and Nova was the best place to look.