The twittering of birds accompanied Karissa as she walked down the road towards the town. She huffed as her heavy skirts swished around her legs. She was running low on clean dresses, and so had been forced to wear one of the only dresses she had not yet worn on the journey to Hallel. 

Karissa liked the dress of course, but only for lounging around. The skirts were so long and heavy that it made it difficult and tiring to move around in for long. The fabric was soft enough, but she was not used to having it brush against the bare skin of her lower legs with every step. 

She wore the same underskirt from the day before, the one she had partially destroyed when she bound up the Duke’s wounded arm. She was in desperate need of more undergarments. Karissa hoped to find somewhere in town to buy some today. 

But first, she had to find the infirmary.

There were men there that may be dying. She could handle some discomfort compared to that.

Karissa thought back with a rueful smile to earlier that morning when she had struggled to put on the dress by herself. The infirmary matron, Julianna, had not been exaggerating when she said that Lilian would sleep like a babe. Her lady’s maid had just managed to braid Karissa’s hair that night before she passed out on the bed. Karissa had been unable to wake her in the morning, but in all honesty she had not tried very hard to rouse her companion. She deserved some good sleep.

So, Karissa had laced up the back of the dress herself with some difficulty, looking over her shoulder at the mirror in the washroom to help guide the ribbons into the correct eyelets. Then she took out the braids that Lilian had done, hoping that her cascading hair would hide any mistakes she had made. 

Breakfast had been delivered to her rooms shortly after that by one of the maids, and she ate her fill and decided to go out and accomplish her few tasks. She didn’t run into anyone on her way out of the keep. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t want anyone to know where she was going. It was that she didn’t know that leaving the keep without telling anyone could cause a commotion.

“My lady!” a voice called behind her. Karissa froze, then turned back to see the Duke jogging down the road after her. He wore dark pants and a clean white shirt, the sleeves rolled up around his biceps. The white bandage on his left arm stood out against his skin, reminding her again of the injury he had sustained during the wyvern attack.

“Your Grace,” she said, giving him a curtsy as he reached her. “Good morning,” she said reservedly, clasping her hands in front of her. She forced herself not to look down at the ground, instead meeting his gaze. The night before was just that, the night before. Perhaps they could start anew today.

“My lady, why are you out here by yourself?” the Duke asked, huffing a little from running after her. Karissa fought the urge to bite her lip.

Oh no, did I do something wrong again? “I was on my way to town, to visit the infirmary. I hoped to give some comfort to the injured, if that is allowed?”

The Duke’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Then he nodded. “Oh, yes, of course that is allowed. I apologize, I should have thought of that before…” He paused, seeming to be lost in thought for a moment. “I also wanted to visit the men today. Perhaps we can go together?”

Karissa was also surprised at his request. He was anxious to get away from me as fast as he could last night. What changed? Karissa nodded, allowing a smile to play across her lips.

“I would like that. I actually have no idea where it is.” But the Duke did not make a move to continue down the road. He still stood there, thinking again. At last he spoke.

“Before we do, there is something I need to tell you,” he said slowly, running a hand through his gray-tinged hair.

Karissa’s heart began to beat quicker, and she felt the smile slip from her face. The way he said those words made her feel like he had some dreadful news. 

“I feel I must inform you… that is, I feel you ought to be aware…” he trailed off again, staring at the ground, a muscle in his jaw popping out as he struggled to say what he wanted to. “The infirmary matron,” he started again, then stopped. Karissa cocked her head, thoroughly confused.

“Julianna? I met her last night, she came to tend to Lilian’s ankle.”

“Yes, Julianna…”

“What about her?”

“Well… she… and I… used to be close,” he said, lifting his gaze to meet hers again. “We practically grew up together, here in Hallel. There were many that thought… myself included, I must add, that we would one day… be married… to each other…”

Realization dawned on her, and Karissa fought the ever increasing urge to bite her lip yet again. Married? To her? Suddenly the other woman’s behavior the night before made so much sense. Of course she would not be cordial… what she must think of me… I’ve stolen him away from her…

“But,” the Duke continued. “When I swore myself as a knight to serve the emperor, I broke things off. That was over ten years ago now. I thought that in time she had accepted it, but… it seems that now our marriage has bred some animosity. I’m sure she would never do anything out of spite, she has an upstanding character. But I know she is not happy with all of this.” 

The Duke paused again, gulping hard, and Karissa realized how nervous he had been to tell her, and how easy it would have been to hide it. But, he had broken things off when he became a knight. Not because he no longer had feelings for her…

“I thought I needed to tell you this, so that you could be aware of it and… I don’t know exactly. I just thought you should know.”

“Do you still love her?” Karissa asked suddenly. She regretted the question as soon as it left her lips. But she must have an answer. She watched his expression carefully, wondering if she could even catch a lie if he told one. But his left eyebrow only lifted slightly, and then he shook his head.

“No, I do not. It was long ago. I still respect her, her station, and her family. But no, there are no longer those types of feelings in my heart for her.” The Duke held her gaze as he answered, and she felt she had no reason to believe that he was lying. She nodded.

“Very well then. Shall we go now, Your Grace? To the infirmary?” He looked surprised at her easy acceptance, then nodded and strode forward.

“Yes, I’ll show you the way.” The pair began to walk down the road, a silence permeating the space between them. 

Karissa’s mind was churning up scenario after scenario. She regretted choosing to go to the infirmary that morning without her lady’s maid. Lilian had a way of making her feel braver than she was. 

While Karissa was sure that the Duke would not allow anything bad to happen to her, showing up to the infirmary practically arm in arm could be seen as a slap in the face to Julianna. And the Duke was as nervous as a yearling colt being ridden for the first time. Although, it was hard to tell if he was nervous about his new wife or his former lover.

His former lover... Karissa suddenly wished she was very, very far away.