Despite receiving a scolding earlier for delaying dinner, I'm relatively unbothered by Nana¹-san's² mild reprimand. She may seem like a strict host on the outside, but secretly she's a tender-hearted person. I know by now that nagging is her love-language; it's how she shows she cares, in her own round-about way.

It's nice to have someone genuinely worry about me, for once. The rebel in me enjoys being left to my own devices, since I've basically been taking care of myself for years. But the softer side of me cherishs every sit-down family meal I have with her and the other girls, who, with the exception of her daughter, Suzume³, are also foreign exchange students boarding here.

Her experience in the military shows at times like this; she likes routine, punctuality, and order a little too much, but honestly, there are worse habits to have in life.

Nana-san is one of the few host-family parents who, in addition to being multilingual, is originally from America. It's one of the many reasons I chose her as my host. She entered the military straight out of high school, not long after the U.S. began allowing women to enlist and serve on combat ships⁴, and at some point later in her term, she transfered to a base here in Japan.

As we eat, the other girls talk about how their day went, their preparations for school starting up tomorrow, and if there will be any cute boys in class. On that note, Natasha⁵, a somewhat shy first year from Germany with flowing golden locks and bright blue eyes, pleads with Nana-san to tell her tale of true love. 

Nana-san delightfuly agrees, starting off with how she was stationed here, falling in love with the country and its culture so much that when her enlistment contract ended, she decided to stay here permanently. And of course, how she met her husband, Makoto⁶ Nanakado, here as well.

He was a Japanese naval officer⁷ and as the story goes, the two of them instantly clicked. What had started as a joint military forces dinner party at a late-night izakaya⁸, lead to a whirlwind heart-throbbing romance for the ages. It wasn't long until he asked her to marry him, against his parents' wishes, and they had Suzume by the following year. At the mention of her name, the six⁹ year old's cheeks begin to redden with embarrassment.

I continue to listen contently as I eat, thankful the others are too distracted to ask about my day; I'm not ready to explain the reason behind my whereabouts to them yet.

It's a story she tells so often, that I have it memorized by now, as if it were my own. I don't mind hearing the tale again though, because even though the pessimist in me finds "true love" incredulous, a piece of me holds onto the sliver of hope that a romantic love like that can happen to me too.

Just imagine finding your other half so easily, someone who understands you completely and loves you as you are, and then being able to make it work with them, together, against all obstacles? Talk about relationship goals. Honestly, it sounds like something only found in movies. And I have way too much baggage and quirks to believe it's in the realm of possibilities for me. There's probably some joke to be made about being unable to sleep in Seattle, but I keep it to myself.

If only their lives could've stayed that way.

Unfortunately, like any other story of destined star-crossed lovers, this one too ended in tragedy when Makoto passed away unexpectedly. This happened a few years back when Suzume was only three, but his family still speaks fondly of him, and often. Quite the contrast to my own family, or what remains of it at least.

The atmosphere turns awkwardly silent as we all collectively recall that bit of the story. As if sensing her mother's melancholy, Suzume quickly changes the subject to the weird bug she saw earlier today. Everyone then follows suit in playing along, pretending not to be sad and instead totally engrossed in every detail of this allegedly bizarre bug.

                                              ~ ~ ~

After helping clean up, I grab my favorite jacket and head outside for my nightly walk. This jacket may be old and a bit raggedy, but it's my favorite for many reasons.

It's comfortably soft,

It's my favorite color,

It fits just right,

But most of all . . . It was Ren's¹⁰.

Seán hates that I wear it all the time, but he's not around to complain about it anymore. So I do what I want. And what I want is something of my brother's close to me. It makes me feel as if he's here with me again, keeping me safe, just like he used to.

Not that I really need any protection. I scrap¹¹ pretty well but even that isn't necessary here. Japan is relatively safe compared to the streets of L.A.¹² So I take advantage of going on walks at night alone, while I have the opportunity to do so.

There's just something about the sky at night. Being under the moon and stars, with a nice cool breeze whistling through my hair, teasing the locks. Something so calming in the way it makes me feel so small in the vast universe, yet so whole, all at the same time. It gives me peace, when nothing else does, and melts away my worries and intrusive thoughts until it's just me and the moon. A wholesome numbness. Like nothing else matters. And like it doesn't matter that it doesn't. That everything will somehow find a way to right itself again.

I leave the path, continuing onto a small trail, left only by me. It's one I've walked so much that I've started to wear my own path into the grass, but I doubt anyone else knows of it; it's always just me up here.

I cut through the trees and around the dense shrubbery to get to my usual haunt¹³. It's close to a cliff near the road, but there's a nice patch of open grass there that I like to come to, ever since I discovered it.

From here I can see the city lights in the distance, and the height makes me feel like I'm on top of the world, which is clarifying in itself. It's a great place to clear my head while I lay down under the stars. The cool grass I lie on feels alive and welcoming. The sliver of the moon warmly smiles down on me. I search for Pleiades¹⁴ while I clear my thoughts. Usually I can see the Man in the Moon¹⁵ when I look up at night, but it's almost a new moon, so he's hidden away for now.

Crack!

The sharp sound of branches snapping startles me, and I shoot to my feet. I was so lost in my thoughts, that I failed to realize that the rest of the world has become quiet.

Too quiet.

The symphony of crickets has stopped.

The frogs no longer croak.

Something rustles in the dark. A figure is crouched at the edge of the clearing, just mere feet from me.

After that, everything happens so quickly that I don't remember much, except a flash of white, the sense of falling, and someone screaming.

But I'll never forget the pair of menacing crimson eyes locking onto my own, just before everything goes black. 

                                              ~ ~ ~

                                ADDITIONAL NOTES:

¹ Nana: a short endearing nickname for Maria Nanakado². The "-san" suffix is used as a sign of respect.

² 七門 "Nanakado" (ナナカド) is a surname meaning "seven" and "gate / entrance". Maria (マリア) is a woman's given name of Latin origin, meaning "of the sea" and also refers to the Virgin Mary from the Christian Bible. The Japanese version of Maria would be 真莉亞 . Pronounced as "mah-ree-ah, nah-nah-kah-doh".

³ 雀 "Suzume" (スズメ) is a girl's given name meaning "sparrow". Pronounced as "soo-zoo-may". 

⁴ Even though women have been able to enlist in the U.S. Navy since 1948 (as a career move, rather than as a temporary volunteer), it wasn't until In 1978, that the U.S. Congress passed legislation allowing women to serve on support and non-combatant ships. Then, in 1993, Congress repealed the Combat Exclusion Law, allowing women to additionally be able to serve on combatant ships, if they wanted to. Nana-san joined in June 1995, only a couple years after this change.

⁵ "Natasha" (ナターシャ) is a girl's given name and is the Russian form of the Latin name "Natalia", which means "[One who is] born on Christmas day". Pronounced "nah-taw-shuh".

⁶ 眞寿 "Makoto" (マコト) is a man's given name meaning "true" and "auspicious". It can also mean "fate / destiny" when spelled using different kanji ( 命 ). Pronounced as "mah-koh-toh".

⁷ The Japanese Maritime Self-Defense Force (JMSDF) is also known as the Japanese Navy. Not to be confused with the Japanese Imperial Navy, which was discontinued after World War II.

⁸ Izakaya: A casual Japanese pub or tavern that serves food and drinks. They are a popular place for after-work gatherings, since they are usually still open after midnight. Similar to the term "tapas bars".

⁹ In Japan, birthdays can be counted two different ways: 1) using the Western / International Method (man-nenrei, 満年齢 ), where age increases by one on the actual birthdate, or 2) by using the East Asian Traditional Method (kazoe-doshia, 数え年 ), which counts a person as one year old at birth and adds a year on each New Year's Day, regardless of their actual birthdate. Counting using the Traditional system means that ages are typically one or two years older than the Western system. Since Japan adopted the International Method in 1902, all ages within this story have been calculated using that system, for simplicity.

¹⁰ 獅夢 "Ren" (レン) is a boy's given name meaning "lion" and "dream". Pronounced as "reh-en".

¹¹ Scrap: Slang for fighting, usually hand-to-hand and no rules. Similar to the terms "brawl" or "dirty fighting".

¹² L.A.: Short nickname for the city of Los Angeles, California. A large city in America known for many things, such as its high crime and poverty rate, its growing middle-class gap, and its famous Hollywood movie stars. It can be a "City of Dreams" in a sense, but whether they are dreams that are crushed or realized, may differ person to person.

¹³ Haunt: Short for "haunting". Slang for a place someone visits frequently.

¹⁴ Pleiades: Also known as the "Seven Sisters" cluster (or "Subaru" in Japanese), they are a group of blue stars that share a similar formation pattern to that of the Little Dipper constellation, and are located over 400 light years away from Earth. The best time to view them (in the Northern Hemisphere) is during the fall and winter months, since they become difficult to see after April, depending on where you are located.

¹⁵ The Man in the Moon: A perceived human face on the full moon that is created by the moon's surface appearance. The phrase originated in Middle English around 1275 A.D. There are many different ways people around the world see the "man". In Rima's case, the Mare Tranquillitatis (Sea of Tranquility) and Mare Crisium (Sea of Crisis) are his eyes, the Mare Fecunditatis (Sea of Fertility) forms his nose, and the Mare Nectaris (Sea of Nectar) along with several craters make up his mouth.