Chapter 2

The gates of Duke Binochet’s residence had been locked since the tragedy. They did not open again until the banquet.

Countless nobles came from the empire, its vassal states, and the neighboring nations. The once-darkened mansion became full of bright lights and loud laughter.

But Reina knew that those sparkling lights were not meant for her, so she passed the time on her bed, reading a book.

When mealtime had long passed and no maid appeared, she was forced to get up.

I don’t want to, but I guess I have no choice but to go to the kitchen myself.

She knew that the staff were busy preparing for the first banquet in a long time, so she had suppressed her hunger from the day before until this late hour.

But at this rate, she doubted she would eat the following day either.

Her door creaked when she opened it. She left her room and cautiously walked down the hall, hearing the whispers as she passed by in her dingy black dress.

“So that child is...”

“She looks just like her mother.”

“Oh my, oh my!”

“A black dress on a joyous day like this...”

Though the words were familiar, the guests’ judgments stabbed her heart like daggers.

Father already hates me, so why would others be any different?

Reina changed her mind and turned back to the detached building, where her chambers were. Her desire to rest was greater than her hunger.

Even the path to her chambers was unfortunately filled with guests, and it was impossible to return without drawing their eyes.

She didn’t want any more attention than she had already gotten. She had no choice but to head toward the glass greenhouse she often visited at the back of the estate.

“At least it’s quiet here.”

Her mother had lovingly cared for the greenhouse while still living. However, after losing its owner, it was abandoned and rarely had visitors other than Reina.

She retreated as quickly as she could. It was only when the lights and sounds were no longer able to reach her that she was finally able to breathe. She let out a sigh of relief.

This kind of place suits me.

A rusty place, filled with dust and forgotten by everyone, was the only refuge she had.

After sitting at the tea table, Reina looked up at the moon beyond the ceiling of the greenhouse as she always did.

It would be nice if there was a moon halo.

Despite her wishes, it was a brilliant moon.

A strange loneliness settled upon her, and she drew her legs up and hugged her knees. Her innermost thoughts slipped out as she said, “I would rather be dead.”

There was an immediate response.

“I didn’t know that someone was already here,” said an unfamiliar voice.

The speaker was a man with eyes as red as rubies. His pale blond hair shone blindingly bright in the moonlight.

Could he have heard me just now?

She curled up tight to guard against the intrusion of the stranger as he began to introduce himself.

“I am Duke Heathvilion’s second son, Edgar Heathvilion.”

Reina, unsure of what to say, stayed silent. She didn’t know how many years it had been since someone had struck up a conversation with her. Edgar stared at Reina’s pale complexion and black dress for a long time.

“The dead can’t return, so no matter how angry you feel or how unfair you think it is, it would be best to forget it,” he eventually said, his voice cold. Somehow, it sounded as though he was concerned for her.

She cautiously met the man’s eyes. He scowled as though choosing his words carefully before he spoke again.

“I don’t know how I ended up saying something like this to you, my lady, but... You decide the worth of your life, and you are the master of your life.”

Reina’s heart pounded in the face of someone acknowledging her instead of avoiding her for the first time in a long while.

She thought to herself as she listened to Edgar, The master of my life? The master of my life is my father. And if Father doesn’t forgive me, then...

Edgar’s next words came very quietly. “I hope that your worth is not so inconsequential that you believe yourself suited to a place like this.”

And with that, as though he hadn’t expected an answer, he left the greenhouse entirely.

It was at that moment that she suddenly recalled her mother’s words.

“Reina, my beloved daughter. You are more precious than anyone.”

How could she have forgotten? Her worth wasn’t limited to this.

Left to her own devices, Reina thought and thought about his parting words, alone.

She was not her father’s daughter, but she was still the daughter of Duke Binochet and the older sister of the young lord of Binochet. Furthermore, she knew that status did not equate to the worth of one’s life.

Reina wanted to find the worth of her life. A goal. She soon found something that shone for her—the only light in her dark life, as faint as it was.

Reina wanted Edgar.

If he’s by my side, I think even someone as incomplete as I am could become whole.

At some point, being at his side had become Reina’s life’s goal. If he was at her side, she would be acknowledged.

The opportunity came quickly enough.

When House Heathvilion began to fight over the right to succession, Reina asked her father to marry her off to Edgar.

“You idiot! How dare you not know your place?!”

Though the conversation had resulted in a bruised cheek at the hand of her father, she was happy.

Her father soon informed her that he would provide Edgar soldiers in return for their union. The fact that Edgar already had a fiancée was easily brushed aside.

Edgar held out until the last, but he found himself to be in an inescapable situation. Finally, he accepted Duke Binochet’s offer.

Reina felt grateful to be his daughter for the first time. Though when they met again, she found that Edgar was different.

“You really are your father’s daughter.”

There was no respect to be found in those cold words, unlike during their first meeting. Still, she was happy to finally stand at Edgar’s side.

He may not have been considerate of Reina on their wedding night, but she was still satisfied. Even when he looked down on her with contempt, the satisfaction she felt from finding someone who would save her was greater.

It’s okay. I’m more than content just to be with him.

She’d never had any expectations for him to gaze at her with warmth in his eyes.

After a yearlong battle, Edgar claimed the title of heir. He became the duke and, naturally, she became the duchess.

Dutifully, he sought her out once a month. There was a clause in his promise to Duke Binochet, an agreement to make the child Reina bore his heir. So, while their intercourse was mandatory, Reina still counted down the days to those nights that came about once a month.

When Edgar looked down coldly upon her, it brought her father to mind, but she would think back to that night when they had met in the glass greenhouse and force herself to smile.

“You decide the worth of your life, and the master of your life is you.”

Perhaps he would care for her one day. Perhaps he would lovingly scold her.

Reina waited endlessly for her small wish to come true.

***

Time passed, and Reina became pregnant with Edgar’s child.

Edgar’s visits stopped, as though he had been waiting all along for this pregnancy.

One day, she happened to overhear some of the staff gossiping.

“Even though her ladyship is pregnant, the master won’t even look in the direction of her chambers.”

“You didn’t know? The truth is...”

And that was how she learned that there was another woman.

Reina forced her pregnant body along so that she could meet the woman Edgar was said to be seeing.

She turned out to be an elegant woman with lovely black hair. Though she couldn’t be called a beauty, everything about her made it obvious that she had grown up beloved.

Reina felt unbearably jealous and incomparably small. As a result, she found herself barely able to speak.

“It’s nice to meet you, Duchess.”

“Please don’t see Edgar any longer. He is—”

“Duchess, do you believe that you are in your rightful place?”

“What do you...?”

“I was the one who was engaged to Ed first. The betrothal that you pushed him into breaking was mine.”

Reina was speechless.

“I was the one who had Ed stolen from me, not you.”

Unable to give a proper rebuttal, Reina dragged herself back to the estate and was greeted by Edgar’s anger upon her return.

“Why did you go see her? How dare you do such a thing?!”

Until now, she had believed him only capable of ignoring her and treating her with contempt. For the first time, passion filled those dull eyes.

After Edgar left, Reina collapsed from the shock and felt the first pains of labor.

As she felt her consciousness slip away, Reina recalled the day her mother died.

***

It was only after she suffered through a full twelve hours of labor that the baby came into the world.

He had been born two months earlier than expected. But even after the baby was born, Edgar ignored her. She thought she might go crazy. The baby, who looked just like Edgar, was lovely.

She found that she didn’t know how to love.

“Madam, would you like to hold him?”

“Later... I will hold him later.”

She wanted to hold him close and cradle him, but for some reason, she wasn’t able to.

She understood it in time. The baby had started to cry, and she reached out to try and console him. She drew her hand back quickly though, unable to touch him. That was when the realization struck.

A part of her had died. A very, very important part...

The child was neglected, but not abandoned, as a result. Reina watched the baby all day long.

“Ell. You’re my one and only child. Our child.”

The spark of vitality held by this small life was so captivatingly beautiful that she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. Because she couldn’t touch the baby with her dirty hands, the nanny breastfed, washed, and fed him.

Still, she loved the child. Reina was grateful to Edgar for blessing her with this baby.

Perhaps the reason I met Edgar was to meet this child.

She thought she had found a new purpose for her life. But when the child was soon to be weaned, the estate became chaotic.

Edgar had brought the black-haired woman into their home.

“We meet again, madam. Have you been well all this while?”