I’ve never really been someone for people, I’ve never enjoyed the presence of others as much as animals, which is really hard when you're the king of the dead. Hi I’m Hades, hopefully you already know me, so I don’t have to introduce myself. Of course there will always be people who don’t, for them I will. I am old, like older than your country old, but I’m probably more in with the times than my younger siblings due to my job. What is that job most people aren’t asking: well I am the God of the Dead, the king of the Underworld, there’s really only a few upsides to this job. The way I got it is wild too, it was the day after we defeated my father, Cronus, Kronos, however you want to say it, and my brother Zeus, probably more well known than me, proposed that we divide up the universe between him, me, and our younger brother Poseidon, by drawing straws, think of that for a second, Of course he pulled the best, but that’s not important right now, what is important is how many times people have been here, each on their own adventure. A lot of people like these heroes, and a lot of people write about me, and my Wife. She's always been so independent, but supportive, I love her so much, so deeply, she is the greatest thing I have ever known. Persephone, Oh Persephone. But back to the topic, this is multiple stories, a love song, a tragedy, a trial, a punishment, sadly most of these don't end well for the main character, except the trial that guy got it too well. I also recently learned about a ship that came into my waters, it was unexpected to say the least, but he only came here to see a prophet. Onto the first one though, it's the shortest so it'll take less time.

You've probably heard something similar to the name Heracles, yes? Either it was a Disney movie or whatever the one with the rock was. Basically he came to my kingdom for a labor, which is already hard enough, but he apparently needed to take my dog of all things to his cousin to repent for something, it was spring so I kinda had my mind on other things. So I said something nice and simple to him, "Heracles, Nephew, you come asking me a very bizarre question, but do not fret, I will let you, but I have one thing that you have to do," Now having a God respond to you like this is already miraculous enough, but having me do it would seem impossible for some. Of course he responded, "Lord Hades, tell me what I must do and I will do it," This was a very strange response for someone like Heracles, he was very strong and could easily get angry, but he was smart, as all Heroes are. So I let him, on one condition, he could not use any weapons to try and capture him, of course most people have heard of him just grabbing Cerberus, but he just grabbed the leash, I mean I let him too. Who wouldn't want a free dog walk for their three headed bundle of joy. And of course, he returned him. The next story wont end as happily as this one though.

This is an old one, its a little bit of everything. It's a love song, a tragedy, a realization. It was my first time anyone mortal had entered the underworld, and I always feel like I did it wrong. Most have heard the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice, a beautiful romance, a poet and his songbird, blooming into a rose, but they didn't stay that way. The wind blew colder, this was when I was younger and more ignorant. I had come for Persephone too soon. Of course in the mountains the storms were deadly, but the rattlesnakes in the arid lands are worse. Eurydice didn't make it through the storm. Orpheus wept, his songs growing louder and sadder. He grew so sad he went down, to the underworld, just to get his love back. I was trying to be callous, and cold, so I refused him, even tried to make him leave. But his songs they made me weep, made all of the Underworld weep, and Persephone, oh she persuaded me easily. So I let him go, let him take his love back to the living, with one condition, I know very similar, but conditions is what keeps me going as King, I let him return with her, but he could not look back, could not look at his love until he'd returned. Now that is the only time I've ever wanted to go back and change it, fix it, make the condition different, because Orpheus, fearing that I'd tricked him into walking out alone, looked back. Now as I said, it is a sad sad song, and that's how it goes, he came so close, the song was written long ago. And that is how it goes. But to know how it ends, and tell it again, like it would get better, is how we should remember things, isn't it. Now some people come into the underworld either unwittingly or by mischievous purposes.

So, punishment. I don't usually like to talk about it, but it is necessary to talk about the people who suffer in the deepest depths of my realm. Tartarus. But that is for another time, another moment.