I felt ashamed

“I was consumed by both shame and fear. Never before had I experienced such a sensation, and I found myself at a loss to comprehend it. You see, I had never been one for adventure or rebellion – and now, having encountered something so unconventional, I was utterly confounded.

I repeated to myself that this was not who I was, not how I should conduct myself, yet a part of me acknowledged that perhaps, in that singular moment, I was more authentically myself than ever before.

All at once the pianist finished his piece with a crash amidst the thundering applause of the whole theatre.

Unlike the rest, I remained seated, abstaining from joining the applause. It was only when my mother tapped me on the back, questioning my lack of enthusiasm for the performance, did I regain my senses.

Her worried voice reached me, softly inquiring, "Were you asleep, my dear?"”

Camille lingered in silence, his thoughts seemingly adrift. The priest, with a knowing smile, remarked, "But you were not asleep, that much is clear. What prevented you from joining in the applause?"

“In the tumult of my own emotions, I required a moment to grasp the scene unfolding around me and to navigate my way back to equilibrium.

I sat there dumb, motionless, nerveless, exhausted and still staring at Rene Teleny who stood there bowing listlessly. – Even after my mother told me to raise for the applause I was utterly unable to.

My heart raced, still thrumming with wild intensity, my skin tingled with the lingering sensation of my audacious, forbidden longings. I was gripped by an unrelenting tension, a ravenous desire yet unsatisfied, and though the crowd enveloped me in anonymity, I trembled at the thought that the burning lust within my eyes and the yearning carved into my expression might be revealed.

Still, Renes glances never ceased searching for my direction with impassioned tenderness, seemingly seeking not only my eyes but also my recognition.

As soon as the applause died down and the lights in the theater illuminated the space once more, a portion of the crowd swiftly made their way towards the exits.

Naturally my mother insisted on going to the salon for some refreshments, as was the common fashion for the nobility and hosts, regardless of whether the performance was outstanding or a sorry spectacle. Needless to say, the concert this evening was splendid, and especially Renes part outmatched that of many other artists. It marked the starting point of his career.

Since I wasn't fond of large groups, my mother and I decided to linger at our seats for a while.

I was deep in thoughts and mesmerized by what had happened, watching the young pianist pick up his manuscript book.

As I looked at him, his features seemed to be overshadowed by a deep melancholy, and - horrible to behold - I saw a figure in the dark of the stage, almost hidden by a curtain. In fact, long after that, I started to doubt what I saw that day, but I nearly shrieked out in fear, when I was suddenly aware of this ghostly figure. Similar to the ancient god Anubis, the embodiment of death, it bore the head of a dog.

It was just a second before I realized that the pianist had cast a shadow behind himself - and for another moment I did not feel relieved, but even more terrified.

My head was spinning and feeling sick. I fell back exhausted in my chair, covering my eyes with my hands.

"What a strange hallucination," I whispered to myself. "I wonder what brought it about?"

When I lifted my head again, the pianist was gone. I then turned around and my mother, seeing how pale I was, frowned with concern asking me: "Camille, my sweet, do you feel unwell? You appeared so utterly diminished, and you did not rise for the applause, though I am certain the concert delighted you. Are you exhausted, my dear?"

___________________________________

Hello, Selfmaiden speaking!

After having problems with a flu I was finally able to write the next chapter and I am happy to present it to you. Please let me know what you think in the comments.

The next question for you to answer is: What does Rene answer to his mothers question?

(EDIT: The decision has already been made and the next chapter uploaded. :-) )

A) "I am fine, mother."

B) "It's just a bit hot in here, mother."

C) "I think I am unwell."

This game is available as a playable visual novel/romance simulator on Itch:

https://selfmaiden.itch.io/teleny