“Day four, how is it going?”

Nakia was being interrogated at the breakfast table. Their gepatro stared them down over a cup of tea. “He still hasn’t consented.”

The CEO scoffed. “Do you think I care about consent?”

Nakia’s eyes burned into theirs so deeply they had to look away. Obviously not, they thought. “I just wish there was a way to do it ethically.” They said, bordering on a dangerous level of honesty and sarcasm.

“Nakia, there are two types of people in this society. There are those of us who must make decisions that promote order and stability, and those who will pay the price to uphold that order. If you don’t choose to be the former, you will wind up the latter.”

Nakia glared as their gepatro rose up to rinse their plate at the sink. They breathed out slowly and moved their food around with their fork. Their mind drifted back into the escape of the prison cell. What did they give Sera to eat down there?

A cold hand appeared on their shoulder. “You know I only hurt you out of love. The consequences you’d face without my guidance would be far greater.” Gepatro whispered.

Nakia watched in silence as their gepatro left their side to take another injection. It was the same substance they would have been put on years before- if not for the lie.

Sera was already waiting for Nakia when they arrived at the base of the steps. They had tripped on the last one, and Sera reached his hand through the bars as if he was able to catch them. Nakia paused in frustration, but upon noticing Sera’s concerned hand, they didn’t lay a finger against themself. They went to their station in front of the cell, sitting and staring at his hand, still extended and full of potential. 

“I took a vow,” Nakia reminded him.

“It’s just my hand.” Sera rolled his eyes. He smiled and raised his brows up. “Come on Nakia, I know you want to. Five fingers? You’re so intrigued, I can tell.”

Nakia did something they hadn’t done in years. They cracked a smile. It was a real one, and they held their hand up to prepare for the touch. They poked Sera’s hand first nervously, then gave it a timid stroke. They placed their hands in their lap after that. “Alright, enough of that.”

Sera didn’t know if it was boredom or Stockholm syndrome, or if he had suffered some traumatic brain injury that suddenly made him like people from Unutero, but Nakia wasn’t so bad. In a way he’d won the lottery on entertaining, decent, attractive jailers. He just couldn’t understand one thing about them. “So why’d you do it?”

“Do what?”

“The celibacy thing. Are you really into the whole-” He waved his hands around to emphasize, “detachment, zen, asexuality thing?”

Nakia wished the answer was yes. It was much more complicated than that. They nervously looked around before leaning forward to whisper the truth to him. He was the only person in the world they could tell. “I went to the behavioral therapist for nobility in my growing years. They were going to medicate me. I’ve seen what it does to my gepatro, they told me the side effects. It numbs you completely, not just to the desires, but to everything. And besides- if I’m forced to have a mate someday, someone chosen for me, I at least want to enjoy it. So I- kind of- just lied. If you say you already don’t feel any desires, there’s no reason to take it.”

Sera raised his brows and started to laugh. Nakia blushed from embarrassment as he continued. The whole thing was just absurd. “You mean you risked your life to enjoy reproducing?”

“Don’t say it like that!” 

“I’m not judging you. Not in the slightest. It’s just great, because here I was thinking you were all uptight and heartless out here. You did exactly what I would have done. If anything, you should live in Septero.”

Nakia’s face softened. “Well, I don’t know about that.” They sighed. “Maybe somewhere in-between. I guess I’d still want to do important things, but I’d like to have fun too.”

“Sounds like a dream.” Sera smiled. “Where would that be?”

Nakia was taking in everything about him, from his unique eyes to his five fingered hands. “With someone like you.” They thought aloud quietly.

Sera’s eyes widened. Nakia realized what they had said and met his glance, equally surprised. They left without another word. 

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Nakia laid in bed on the fifth night, awake and restless in fear. They stared at their hand as tears ran down the sides of their face. They kept stroking the skin on their palm, thinking of him. 

There had to be another way. Desperate to come up with one, they left their room to head into their gepatro’s office. They pulled every law book they could find from the shelves and let them fall heavy on the desk. Sniffing back sobs, they opened the first one and started to read.

Gepatro heard the ruckus and immediately made their way to the office. They caught Nakia there, sitting in their chair wide eyed with fear, and approached very slowly. They touched the young heir’s cheek and inspected the tear with disgust. “I knew you were a liar.”

Nakia’s heart dropped. The first time they’d heard those words was over ten years ago, on the day they came home from the evaluation. They tried everything to cut the memories out of their skin, including the razors in the bathroom drawer. The CEO put their hand on Nakia’s thigh and it instantly came back. The image of the first time: back to the wall, the buttons being undone on their shirt, cold fingers on their untouched skin, that voice whispering to them through the unwanted strokes, you want to tell them you desire nothing? If that’s what you want, I’ll make sure of it. 

It took every last shred of energy to shut themself off through the torment. Nakia laid across the office couch under a soft blanket after their gepatro finally left them alone with the final words, “last day, last chance.” There was nothing left to feel but dirt coating every inch of their body. As the door shut, Nakia stared at it past the hopeless books strewn out over the desk and repeated their mantra. I won't let you win even if it kills me.

Nakia approached Sera in solemn silence that morning. He rushed up to the bars, an excited and devious smile on his face.

“Nakia- I got you something.” When Nakia didn’t reply, he pulled it from behind his back anyway. “It’s a rock. And I know it’s nothing fancy, but you’d be surprised how hard they are to come by in this jail cell.”

Nakia stared into his beautiful eyes mournfully. They took the stone and squeezed it as the tears started dripping down their chin again. They couldn’t hold back anymore. “I think about you all the time.”

Sera tilted his head and raised a brow. “What?”

“I think about you from the second I wake up until I fall asleep. I think about the way you smiled at me before I ever smiled at you, how you’re so happy, and how you don’t wish you were dead like I do. I think about what your favorite food is, what your favorite color is, and the fact you never told me your name. I read that it was Sera off the paper they handed me, but I want to hear it in your voice. I want to hear about Landfill Beach and your family. Sometimes I even imagine that we could walk there together and that you’d hold my hand again.”

Sera reached through the bars and took Nakia’s hands. He squeezed them firmly and matched their serious glare. “I made a vow too, Nakia. I promised I would never throw my life away. If you really want all of that, then let me out of here.”

“I can’t.” Nakia choked and pulled their hands away.

Sera bit his lip. He smiled again, but this time he was angry. “You have a pretty face for a psychopath.” His callous remark bit into their aura like knives. “I thought you were different, but you're just the same as your gepatro and the rest of the nobles. Do me a favor Nakia, and bring me a rope tomorrow.”

Nakia’s lips trembled. “For what?”

Sera chuckled. “I can’t give them the satisfaction. I’ll do it myself and get this over with.”

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