It is well past eleven.

The heavy silence of the night was broken up by the occasional chirping of crickets, the distant sound of a passing railroad train, and the pitter-patter of raindrops hitting my window. Yet, it remained quiet—the kind of quiet that settled in the air, like a thick fog that surrounded me, constricting my lungs, as if there was no room for air to pass through.

In a way, it didn't bother me much. I find solace in my solitude, a rare moment of peace amidst a world of chaos. 

But within that fog lies another feeling of emptiness; my isolation from this big blue bubble, living alone in my apartment—it suffocates me.

I can remember when this place was more lively, and now it only serves as a reminder of what I lost. I couldn't shake the feeling. 

The clock ticked past midnight. Just when I started to succumb to the sweet embrace of slumber, my cell phone buzzed.

I sighed as I stared at the tiny screen. Yolanda. She always texted late after a full day of locking eyes with her computer at the pet store she worked at, focusing on everything but herself.

Lately, our conversations felt like a game of Pong, back and forth, with the same repetitive rhythm. She says she’s “busy,” and I say “it’s fine, don't worry about it.” It's times like these where I think we are better apart than held together.  Still… sometimes, as her voice softens when she speaks to me and calls me by that old nickname, I get a feeling that maybe—just maybe—deep down, there’s still something worth salvaging.

I typed back: 'zzz Talk 2U l8r.' 

But I wasn't going to sleep. I just sat there, staring at my wall with pure guilt eating away at my consciousness. 

There aren't many left in my life. Yolanda's one of the few. Relationships have always been...complicated. They tend to end up being fleeting moments of joy that fade away like nothing. I've spent so much time pushing away what's left that I forgot how to hold on anymore.

I want something to change.

Anything.

Just to break the monotony.

I have a feeling something's coming. 

But I don't know if I'm ready for it.