This was her fate, to live and breathe Death. It was a bitter, cold companion but faithful nonetheless. A constant presence by her side, slowly consuming her until she too became just like it.
“Don’t become a monster”, a voice of the past whispers to her. “Don’t let the darkness consume you.” Aaliyah tried to shove him out of her head.
Why does his voice keep showing up? Why won’t that memory—those words of his, go away?
She squeezed her eyes shut, and her hands shook.
I’m not, I’m not a—a red stream made its way towards her and she gasped.
Aaliyah took a hasty step back from the blood, causing her to bump into the bed. Against her will, her eyes trailed to Benard lying on the bed. His face was ghostly white, his glassy eyes stared at nothing. They were empty. Devoid of life.
Just like her parents were.
A ringing began to form in her ear and her heart started to pound. She had to leave. She had to escape this place before—he had a wife.
Aaliyah clenched her fists. It was self-defense, he tried to kill me. And Benard is a cheater. His wife is better off without him. I did her a favor.
What if he has children?
That thought pierced through her mind with the sharpness of shattered glass. Her breathing came faster. A tightness began to form in her chest.
Am I a monster?
The pounding in her chest increased until she could hardly breathe. Her head ached. The roar in her ears became louder and louder until it was likened to that of a deafening waterfall. She couldn't breathe. Her breaths came faster and faster yet she seemed to get less air with each breath. Sweat began to run down her back. The walls seemed to push down on her from all sides, as her head spun.
The outside world faded away to nothingness as she fell deeper into the darkness of her mind.
Aaliyah fell and fell and fell.
She Slipped deeper into the abyss where there was no light, no hope, no warmth. Just darkness. Pain. And suffering.
It was all too familiar.
Yet, she heard something. From far, far away. The sound of running footsteps and a name repeatedly being called. Somewhere deep in the void, she heard someone calling her name desperately.
Then, something warm touched her face. It was like an anchor that stopped her descent. She latched onto the warmth and the familiar voice. Like a lifeline, she frantically clawed and fought to hold onto it. It pulled her through the dark waters, towards the surface, onwards to the light.
Aaliyah’s eyes flew open.
A strong arm was wrapped around her back and a hand gently touched her face. She took gasping breaths of air as her eyes met with those that were like the earth. They were filled with warmth, the rich depths swirling with emotions.
“Elias” Aaliyah rasped out her raw throat. Her chest still heaved; her breaths were still shallow gasps.
“Breath,” he said, his voice was low and calm. “Breath.” She followed his instructions, sucking in the air and his calming scent. “Good.” With that he pulled her closer to his chest, hugging her tight. And with each breath, the tightness in her chest loosened.
“Aaliyah,” Elias began, once he noticed her breathing was back to normal, “I-I’m sorry. I should have been the one too—”
She pulled back to look him in the eye, “Please don’t blame yourself. I wanted to do it." She sighed, "I'm sorry for always dragging you into my mess.”
“It’s not your fault, none of this should be happening to you.”
“Well, I just have to deal with the s**** cards I’ve been dealt.”
“I’m sorry,” Elias' eyes were pained.
“You don’t have to apologize Eli. I just wish—” she closed her stinging eyes. “I just—what if I'm a monster? Do you think I am?” She opened her eyes to gaze into soft brown ones, "And be honest."
“You’re not a monster. Like I already said, none of this is your fault.” Elias took a deep breath, his eyes briefly closed, “And you shouldn’t have to suffer because—because of those responsible for your parents' murder.”
Her eyes hardened. “We were right. Benard confessed. He was the one who created the poison that killed my parents.”
Elias clenched his jaw, “he deserved to die.”
“But still—I,” Aaliyah slumped. “I feel empty Eli. That hole my parents left, never seems to lessen. Why?" Her chest tightened, "Will this feeling ever go away?”
“It will—" he shook his head, "No I can’t promise that." Aaliyah's eyes dimmed and Elias clasped his fingers through hers. "The feeling of loss, won't ever go away. Over time, it may shrink, as you experience new things and new joys come to help fill that void. But the scar will remain."
She closed her eyes, as the missing part of her heart ached. A single tear escaped her eye but a soft finger brushed it away. Her teary gaze met those that were filled with warmth. "Don't cry, sweetheart," at his gentle voice, Aaliyah's eyes filled with more tears. Elias gave her a sweet smile, " Through the darkness, amidst the pain and sorrow, no matter how empty you feel, know that you are never truly alone." He squeezed her hand, "What I can promise you is this. I'll never leave your side, so long as you allow me to stay by it."
Aaliyah took a shuddering, broken breath; the tears that had been welling up slipped down her face. “I-I don’t deserve you, Eli. Thank you. Thank you for caring so much.” Her bottom lip wobbled as more tears flowed down her cheeks. “Thank you for staying by my side despite how twisted I am.” She smiled at him, “Thank you for being my missing light.”
“There it is,” Elias grinned, “There’s that beautiful smile of yours.” He paused for a moment before giving her another warm smile. “Thank you as well. You mean so much to me. And between you and I, it’s me who does not deserve you,” his voice was tight with emotion. “So don't give up. Do not let those dark feelings overtake you. For what am I to do without your bright smile?”
His words were like soothing waters that calmed the raging fire that burned in her chest. Aaliyah's body relaxed further into his arms before she stiffened.
What am I still doing in his arms? Her cheeks flushed.
“Well, enough of this cheesy talk,” she grinned at him, “we better get out of here before anyone finds us,” she said, stepping back from Elias’ reluctant arms.
“Now, why would you want to ruin the fun Liya-boo?” She rolled her eyes at his nickname for her. Elias continued, his smile only growing more mischievous by the second. “It would be entirely more exciting to be caught and chased,” he paused before infuriating her more. “Right, Liya-boo?”
Aaliyah glared at him, at her stupid nickname and his even more stupid face. He’s going to be the death of me. She gave Elias one of her wicked smiles and said with relish “I enjoy running your fun.”
His face twisted in mock horror. “How did I end up with such a cruel spy partner?” He gasped, turning his face away as if he couldn't stand the sight of her.
She let out a small laugh and then sighed. “Really, we need to get out of he-”
A series of knocks sounded at the door. “Hey, is this room free?” Both their eyes locked together before their gaze landed on the window leading out of the tavern's room.
Giving her a playful smirk Elias whispered under his breath “Race you back to headquarters. The loser pays for dinner.”
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