Muscles warmed and tingling pleasantly, Pia had sat by the fire feeling for the first time like Ruwe had a heart hidden beneath that frozen exterior. Until he’d sat down beside her, handed her a book, and a charcoal stick, and began to drill her in lessons.

“We’ve covered the four main poisons of the plains. Now, the five major poisons of Chean: Ghost Vine, Serpent Kiss, Phoenix Tears, Echo of Silence, and the Two-Day Curse.”

Pia’s hand had cramped almost immediately as she dutifully took notes.

“First, Ghost Vine. The dominant ingredient is a blue frost lotus from the peak of Pearl Mountain,” there he’d paused and pointed upwards to the mountain behind them. “That is Pearl Mountain, though we’re on the Siji side. Atop the peak, blue frost lotuses can be acquired.”

Pia had looked up, but in the darkness could only make out the vague shape of the mountain. How did one reach the ‘peak?’ she wondered. There’d been no time to wonder as Ruwe kept going.

“Serpent Kiss. There are two dominant ingredients. Three-Ringer Viper venom and red Peony petals…” his voice had droned on and on until Pia’s hand ached to the bone from writing. Only once she’d written the ingredients, locations, and basic effects of each poison did Ruwe relent for the night.

That night, for the first time since the day she’d met them, Pia had felt flutters of anxiety in her belly. Haojie had sent a spark of fire yi into the sigil sewed into the tent roof. It’d lit up the interior with a soft glow, and he pulled her inside the tent, showing her how to enter with snow-soaked boots.

Inside the entrance to the tent had been a thick, wide blanket. Haojie stepped inside first. He removed his outer coat, wet with snow, and tossed it to the side. Leaning forward, he put his weight onto his hands and lowered his body onto the floor, and then turned over to remove his shoes. Pia had seen he was trying to keep as much snow and wet away from the main part of the tent as possible. Once his shoes were off, he stuffed two rags inside and placed the shoes on the side of the wall. Then he tied his coat to one of the strings hanging from the ceiling of the tent, allowing it to drip dry during the night.

Pia had followed his example, then waited as Ruwe entered, then lastly Yijun. Once they’d all made it inside, Yijun had tied the flaps of the tent closed and let loose a drape that fell over the closed flap.

“To keep wind out,” he’d explained.

The tents had been doubled up, stacked one on top of the other for protection from the snow and wind. On the floor, all their sleeping mats had been lined up next to one another, two blankets layered across the top.

“Yijun, Haojie,” Ruwe had directed them to the far side of the tent, yet it seemed they’d known the drill. Yijun laid down on the far-left side, turning on his side, Haojie laid down behind him, turning on his side…A feeling of dread had settled over her. She’d had a feeling she knew what was next.

“Pia,” Ruwe had called, pointing to the spot behind Haojie.

Cheeks burning, she’d slowly crept across the blankets. If the gods could’ve taken her soul right then, she’d have accepted it. Instead, she hand dropped onto her knees, too closely to Haojie, accidentally kneeing him in the back.

“When I said I wished for a rough tum—” Haojie had started to grumble but was silenced by an elbow in the gut from Yijun. He relented with a sigh and Pia quickly dropped down laying facing Haojie’s back, cheeks flaming hot. She’d never had to share a sleeping space with anyone before, let alone grown men.

Behind her, Ruwe had sat, and began tossing the blankets over all of them. The first had been stretched wide across their feet, the second their legs, the third and fourth were doubled up for their upper bodies. They were long and heavy but immediately their warmth settled in. Without her coat, the cold had snuck beneath her heavy robes, cooling her rapidly.

A hand between her shoulder blades had shoved her closer to Haojie, until her front was smushed against his back, knees bending behind his.

“You’re letting too much heat out,” Ruwe had explained as he settled in behind her.

Pia had been too busy trying to figure out where to put her hands. Over Haojie? That’d seemed awkward enough to kill her on the spot. On her side? It’d been uncomfortable no matter which way she’d moved.

She’ shifted around, trying to find a comfortable spot, and the blankets moved to and fro as she moved. An arm had curled over her shoulder, then a hand had grabbed her arm up and moved it over Haojie.

“Stick your arm over his chest, the other hand under your face,” Ruwe had said, practically right in her ear.

She’d followed the instructions, and found that it to be much more comfortable, despite the awkwardness of the position. She’d thought, “I can handle this,” and then, Ruwe’s arm had wrapped around her the same way, and Pia had felt as if she’d die on the spot. That night, it’d taken her ages to fall asleep, but eventually the warmth of their body heat lulled her to sleep as wind and snow battered the tent.

Since that night, the awkwardness and anxiety of sharing a sleep space had disappeared quickly as the temperatures continued to rapidly plummet. Even with all four of them curled up tight, blankets wrapped around them, and hidden beneath two tents, the icy fingers of winter grasped them tightly, and they’d wake up shivering to a frost covered over tent.

Once the snow arrived, it seemed determined to stay. If it didn’t snow once a day, wind blasted the snow around in high drifts that made the going slow. Ruwe had pushed them as far as he could each day, searching for a new spot to rest. It’d taken four more days of roughing it in the open before they reached the first cave that travelers used as shelter.

They’d been trekking through inches of snow with an unrelenting wind piercing through their clothing, when Pia looked up to see Yijun heading straight for a line in the rock. At first, she’d assumed he’d lost his mind, but then in seconds, he’d disappeared! Tudou followed Haojie and she’d given him his head, trusting his instincts. The path sloped downward between the rock and into a cave entrance. Pia had to duck to make the clearance, but once inside she’d been amazed at the room.

It’d been big enough for the horses and the humans to shelter in comfortably. Stockpiles of supplies lined the sides of the cave, and Pia had once more felt grateful she travelled with Ruwe and his men. How would she have ever survived on her own? When she thought back to herself from only months ago, shame burned hot within her. Some god had been looking after her, sending Ruwe after her. If she ever found out which, she’d light incense for that god all her life.

That night, Ruwe had unrolled a long piece of parchment and showed her a map of the area.

Finger pointing to multiple dots on the map, Ruwe had said, “These dots are caves we supply throughout the year. If you’re in need of shelter and supplies, stop at any of these.” Moving his finger to the X marks, he said, “These are shelters with fresh water but no supplies. They’re safe to use but won’t have any aid.”

Pia had been impressed. It was an extensive map of Chean, even covering parts of Pearl Mountain that fell into Siji. He’d made her copy the map by hand, until he’d been confident, she’d memorized it enough to recreate it solely from memory. After months of being forced to read, analyze, and copy maps, Pia finally grasped a decent understanding of how maps worked. It had taken many hits to the head with the bamboo switch to stick though.

Since then, they’d camped in a cave every time there was bad weather, either stopping early for the day or riding further to make the next cave. It impressed her how well the caves were supplied. Haojie had explained that since Ruwe and his men often travelled the same routes, men prepared them with varying supplies depending on the season. Firewood piles were stacked high on the sides. Wooden barrels held water, oats, rice, and grains. There were even piles of dried hay for the horses.

Now, all she wanted was to reach the next cave. A huge snowstorm had loomed on the horizon, so the night prior, Ruwe decided they would wake early, ride off at the first break of light, and not stop until they reached the next cave. For the first time since she’d met him, Ruwe had seemed anxious. A strain around his eyes and mouth, an extra tension in his shoulders, had given it away. He’d checked her tack, her double robes, her outer coat, her hood, and her gloves three times before they’d ridden off. The anxiety was contagious.

Haojie and Yijun had been quiet the entire ride, following Ruwe’s example. They only stopped to give the horses a brief rest before plowing on. It was the silence that was killing her. The howling of wind and the icy scratches against the fabric of her hood made her feel alone in this snowstorm.

A surge of wind blasted snow across her face, and she yelped as it stung her eyes and cheeks. Tears sprang to her eyes and Pia blinked rapidly trying to clear her vision. Cupping her hands over her face, Pia blocked all her sight except a pin prick between her gloved hands. Everything was white, all she could see was Tudou’s head bracing low against the harsh weather. He never took one bad step.

“Tudou, you’re the light of my world,” she whispered, but the wind stole it away. She felt so alone and lost in this unending sea of white. It was Tudou’s kind heart and steady presence that kept her from screaming into the wind just to hear something.

On they went, until the light dimmed, and the shadows grew deep and heavy. Swaying in her saddle, Pia could barely feel her legs. In fact, Pia couldn’t tell what she couldn’t feel. A numbness radiated from her core outward.

Perhaps I’ve died and gone to hell. Am I to be judged here? She wondered, head drooping down towards Tudou’s neck. It was so hard to stay awake. Snow no longer stung when it pelted her cheeks. Unable to hold herself any longer, Pia slumped onto Tudou’s mane, and let her arms wrap around his neck. Tired Tudou might be, he didn’t falter at her shifted weight, and Pia could’ve cried in gratitude for her perfect little horse, but her eyes slid closed, and blackness took her away.

When her eyes opened, she saw first a fire and then Haojie. Sitting up in panic, Pia tried to scramble to her feet, but they were shaky and weak, and she could hardly stand. Scanning the area, she could tell they’d reached the cave. The floor was rock and dim, grey walls surrounded them on all sides.

“Easy,” Haojie said, pushing her back down.

“How’s Tudou?” she asked worriedly, eyes trying to scan the area around the cave, but the light was dim and her eyes hadn’t adjusted yet.

Rolling his eyes, Haojie handed her a cup of tea.

“He’s fine. So are we, thanks for asking,” he said dryly, softening it with a little smile. His face was tired and pale, and Pia felt bad for not asking how he was.

Her cheeks might’ve flushed if they hadn’t already felt scalded from the snow.

“Sorry, that was my next question.”

Pia sipped the tea, letting it warm her from the inside out. A thick warm animal pelt was draped around her body, and she’d been placed beside the fire to regulate her body temperature.

Yijun, always the best cook of them all, appeared carrying a plate of food. As her eyes grew accustomed to the light in the cave, she saw the shapes of horses behind him. She relaxed to see all four horses covered in blankets, dozing contentedly.

Behind Yijun, Ruwe appeared, and Pia was surprised to see that same anxious look still on his face.

“How’re you feeling?” Yijun asked her, giving her the plate.

“Cold,” she said, giving him a tired grin.

Ruwe surprised her by sitting down beside her and taking her right arm. She watched as he pushed up her sleeve and put two fingers on her pulse. For a long moment, he took her pulse, then he took it again, as if confirming what he’d read.

He…was worried! Pia realized. About her.

A spark of warmth grew within her as she stared at his face. That glacial mask had cracked just a little. She couldn’t help the grin that stole over her features, not even when he looked up and met her gaze.

“You have a touch of cold in your veins still, but you should be fine soon…” he trailed off as she continued to grin at him. Shaking his head, his lips quirked up ever so slightly. “Just slightly frost brained.” He poked her on the forehead, and Pia could almost swear it was somewhat affectionate.